THINGS I LEARNED AS A KID

THESE THINGS I LEARNED AS A CHILD:

* Aquiring a taste for burnt food usually nets you the first and last batch of cookies all to yourself.

* Sisters can't keep secrets.

* Grown-ups always believe the first one to tattle.

* You have 12 years of school to learn everything you need to know about life.

* Dads are smarter than moms.

* The best meal includes a fried product, a baked product, gravy and dessert.

* Being a kid is hard because you have to follow all your parents rules.

* Being a parent is easy, you just have to watch your kids grow up.

* Boogers make good glue when hanging pictures on the wall.

* Moms smell good.

* Babies smell bad.

* Santa Claus doesn't really skip the bad kids, he just holds on to the presents until February.

* Chocolate is a good investment.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED AS AN ADULT:

* Kids will eat anything if they're hungry enough.

* Sisters can keep secrets.

* A good tattler prevents many catastrophes.

* You will never know everything.

* Dads and kids are the only ones who believe that dads are smarter than moms.

* Any meal is good if its prepared by someone else and there are no dishes to clean up.

* Being a child is easy, all you have to do is grow up.

* Being a parent is hard because you have to make sure the child grows up.

* Boogers freeze in your nostrils in the wintertime.

* Mom's smell good because they must contantly wash up after messes made by the children.

* Babies smell good.

* Santa Claus shops at Wal-Mart.

* Chocolate is a good investment.