Gracefully...

My co-worker lost her battle with cancer three days ago. Her funeral was today. I could not go. It is not that I was not allowed to go, most of the old timers like myself went. I just could not bear to go. For some people fortunate enough not to be touched by cancer, either directly or indirectly, cancer is merely a pastel colored ribbon on the car in front of them at the stop light. For me it is so much more, and I was not ready to face it.

My mother and sister are survivors. In a way so am I for cancer is not a spectator's disease. It affects everyone within reach. While loved ones endure seemingly endless tests and painful treatments, their family members suffer silent fear and antiseptic scented hope. I found myself hoping that God still remembered me well enough to grant a wish and answer a prayer. I cried tears of relief when He did.

The guilt was sobering when I realized that three days ago many other prayers went unanswered. But faith is a strong and wonderful light that is both bright and warm. Through my sadness I realized that the prayers were in fact answered.

My co-worker won her battle with cancer three days ago. Her funeral was today. She is at peace and at Home. Her prayers have been answered.

God speed sweet Brigitte. I shall miss you.