INEVITABLE, paper mache and 8 legged freaks!

I talked to Gabe the other night.  He had spoken to Art first and then asked to speak to me.  When I got on he apologized.  'I tried to talk him out of it, but I couldn't.  He's already made up his mind.' he began.  I knew what he was talking about.  Art had made no secret about the fact that he wanted to join the Army upon graduation, and he wanted to be a Cav Scout like his older brother.  'But don't worry mom, if he joins, I'll re-enlist so I can keep an eye on him.' my eldest son said with all sincerity. 

Once upon a time it, when the boys were little it was assumed and in fact almost expected that the boys would all join one branch of the service or the other.  The boys spoke of being a soldier as casually as they would speak of being an adult, it was just the natural flow of life.  But that was then, in happier, peaceful times.  This is now.  Now being a soldier almost always means exposure to death and destruction.  I no longer expected my sons to join the military.  I feared it.

'If you're trying to make me feel better, knowing you'll be there with him, you've failed... and succeeded at the same time.  Thank you, I appreciate that, but selfishly I hope it doesn't come to that.' I said, not really knowing what to say, but feeling that I had to say something.  Truth be known I don't want either of them out there in harms way.

'I know, but I wanted you to know that... I will do EVERYTHING I can to take care of him.  I don't want him to see what I've seen, or to have to do what I've done.  I can't change his mind, so I'll take care of him and make sure he comes out okay.'  Gabe's voice broke a couple of times, and I knew he was feeling what I was feeling, the helplessness of the inevitable.  Art has already cut his hair, the wheels were already in motion.  All we could do was help where we could along the path.  Dickidoo remains silent, watching... waiting.  I see the father in him searching for strength in the soldier he was and will always be.  His strength held me up while Gabe was deployed.  I hope he can handle having two sons in battle because I already know I can't.  Art has one more year in High School.  That's not much time to achieve World Peace, but its definitely worth a try.

Last night I zipped off to the near by over priced grocery store to buy a bottle of dish detergent.  13 items later I walked out $27 poorer.  But not to worry because right on cue the cashier handed me a Buy One, Get One Free Always Clean Pads coupon and a Save $1.50 On Two Any Size Any Variety of TAMPAX® Tampons.  I might have decided right then and there never to shop at that over priced grocery store again, but the third check-out coupon ejected by the Coupon Wizard was for $2.00 Off On Any ONE (1) Yuban Coffee 11oz Or Larger.  Ah, coffee!  Thats what I'm talking about!  (Pity they don't litter me with coffee coupons!)  The Oompas are finding the whole Feminine Hygiene Coupon episode amusing and have taken it upon themselves to solving the 'what to do with all the women's monthly coupons' dilemma.  So far I'm leaning towards the paper maché piñata made of coupons and stuffed with tampons.  I could deliver it to the store with the following message:  Thank you for the tampon coupons, I finally found a use for them.  Please give me more, I have idea for a bigger piñata!  Worst case scenario: they will give me more coupons, but I suspect they will most likely cease and desist.

I visited the boy's downstairs bathroom.  As I sat on the Throne of Plenty, I noticed a large spider hanging off of a web in the corner by the door.  I guess its web under the toilet was just a little too close for comfort and it moved to a safer distance.  So there it hung, staring at me staring at it.  I laughed as I wondered what its 8 little feet were smelling at that precise moment.  The spider didn't share my laughter, it just hung there, staring at me with its 8 little eyes, pointing its feet at me through the silk fibers of its web. 

A few moments later, when I turned to flush I caught a glimpse of black from beneath the toilet tank.  I bent closer for a better view... it was a big black spider.  I spun around and immediately spotted the other spider by the door.  Ekkkk !  There were 2 of them!

ORKIN MAN, I NEED YOU!