WHAT I'VE BECOME

I have changed.  People tell me so all the time.

"Jojo, are you okay?  You look like crap!"

Not only do I look like crap now days, I smell like crap.  My Elizabeth Arden's Fifth Avenue is over powered by the fragrance of regurgitated Similac.  When I return to work after lunch I almost always have cereal, cookie, or baby burps smeared on my shirt. 

I have no need for eye liner since I now sport naturally dark circles under my eyes.  My vocabulary includes words like 'mum-mum', 'peek-a-boo!' and 'ewwww! Who made a stinkie?' 

There is no such thing as sitting down to relax.  Sitting down leaves one's lap open to immediate occupation.  Filled cups are fair game for little hands and thirsty lips.  Papers, especially important looking ones, become instant napkins and teethers.

Babies can sleep through loud TV shows, laughter and other screaming babies.  Babies could probably sleep through an earth quake.

Babies cannot sleep through a tip-toed exit and the quiet click of a door.

Babies may not understand English but they understand the sound of a tip-toed exit and the quiet click of a door.

Babies have an emergency warning system to alert other babies. Babies practice this emergency warning system frequently.  It works very well.

Crying is contagious.  So is screaming.

So this is grand-motherhood.

I'm loving it! 

Tags: grand babies, grand parents