RESURRECTION

resurrection: (n) 1.The act of rising from the dead or returning to life.
2.The state of one who has returned to life.

I had a nasty bug this weekend.  No, it wasn't H1N1 or the Swine flu. No fever was involved, and no coughing or head aches.  Just gosh awful cramping, nausea and a whole lot of running to the bathroom.

Art:  Hey mom, what's the past tense for 'When Pigs Fly'?
Me:  I haven't a clue.
Art:  Swine flu....  Pigs fly, swine flew... get it?
Me:  Grrrrrrrrr!

We ran out of Immodium AD (wonderful little pill, works wonders and so easy to swallow because it's so tiny!) so I started popping Peptol Bismol caplets.  By the end of my illness I had taken so many of those pink pills that I half expected to be ... well, you know... doing it in pink!

'Actually the ingredients in Peptol Bismol would turn it white,' Rocky's adorable Cello Playing Boyfriend informed me.  Simply adorable.  See why he fits in so well with our family?

The house is a mess.  Dickidoo has been gone all week so I can't blame it on him.  The Oompas are all teenagers and insist that they clean up their own mess (when did they start doing that? It must be a new thing), and I've been way too sick to do anything let alone wreck the entire house.  I guess that leaves the pets.

I know for a fact that the shit-hound unstuffed the sofa cushion and that the cat helped to distribute the stuffing through out the house.  There is evidence of trash can raids in the kitchen, bathroom and all remaining corners of the upper level.  The goldfish glare accusingly every time the cat and dog enter the foyer where the tank sits.  Henry the homicidal goldfish waits, his little goldfish cheeks fully loaded with stinky tank water, poised to shoot if the cat even so much as thinks about jumping on the aquarium to knock down the fish food for the dog to chew open.  The stairs leading to the lower level of the house still bear proof of the last such conspiracy.

Yes, it is quite possible that the cat and dog actually did trash the house without help from the Oompas.  It probably took them just a few minutes to do so.  It will probably take me all afternoon to clean it up. (Art, a little help here? I think you owe me after that swine flew joke.)

And I wanted a cat and a dog... why?

Note to self:  next time I decide to get a stomach bug and die for a few days, send the critters to a kennel.  This is just crazy!

But other than that, I feel mah-valous!