WHAT EXACTLY IS A 'DUST BUNNY'?

I was recently asked what a 'dust bunny' was and realized that I had no formal definition for the creature so I turned to my online dictionary.  According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the word 'dust bunny' is not in the dictionary.  So I turned to the encyclopedia.  I found this definition in the Peaks English Slang Encyclopedia. 

dust bunny: A pile of dust on the floor, usually under a couch or in a corner; a collection of dry particulate matter that resembles a small living creature.

Well, I didn't agree with that definition so I've composed my own official definition, which as the President of the Dust Bunny Club of North America I am entitled to do.  So.....

Dust bunny: dust bun·ny   a fast reproducing organism that is part marsupial, part rodent, and part varmint that are commonly found inhabiting human dwellings. 

The life of a dust bunny begins as a microscopic spore of dust that evolves in the warmth of a pocket and metamorphoses into a pocket fluff.  From the fluff stage it begins its journey to the outside world, usually emerging from the safety of jeans pockets and into the wash.  The young dust bunnies who come out in the wash rarely make it past the first rinse cycle.  Those that are lucky to survive still have the second rince and the final spin cycle. 

It is in the drying cycle that the dust bunnies are transformed into the creatures that we have come to know and despair.  The warm air puffs the newly washed pocket fluff up and gives it the gift of flight.  The dust bunnies are then able to migrate from the dryer via the vent and the clothing.  Unfortunately many young dust bunnies will not make the last sprint for freedom and end up in the lint catcher.  Even then all is not lost and a determined dust bunny can still escape the dryer fluff and flee to the safety of the laundry room corners and crevices.

Mature dust bunnies are often found under furniture, in corners, behind books and in the glasses you never use until your sister-in-law decides to get herself a drink during her annual visit.  They have the timing of a cockroach and while you can search and search for them, they will not make their presence known until company arrives and it is too late to clean up after them.  Dust bunnies do not cause illness or disease although they have been known to trigger allergies and athsma.  They are also known to cause severe embarrassment on occasion.

The life span of a dust bunny depends on the enviroment.  For instance, a common dust bunny that inhabits my house thrive and tend to have a longer life span than one that would dwell in my sister's house.  Dust bunny populations can be controlled with... what else, a Dust Buster! Swiffers are also effective. But be warned, dust bunnies do not need a partner to reproduce, all they need is a tiny speck of dust and little bit of procrastination!