WATERMELON, (reprinted from June 26, 2004)

Its watermelon season so this seems like the perfect time to reprint this entry from a year ago, especially in light of the new problems I am now encountering with the offensive melon and its side effects.  

WATERMELON, A NEW PROSPECTIVE ON AN OLD FAVORITE

We had honeydew melon with breakfast.  Melon is a favorite of my family and the kids would eat it morning, noon and night, 7 days a week if I would let them.  I will not, and here is why.

My neighbors all know how much my children enjoy melon and are always sending them over when they are in season.  A couple of summers ago I had just purchased a huge watermelon when my neighbor sent over an even larger melon.  My kids eyes were wide with anticipation.  I cut the two melons up and put them in my biggest Tupperware (unpaid product endorcement) bowl, and told the kids to eat the melon up before it went bad.  Not a problem.  So they ate and ate.  It took them 2 days to put away about 15 pounds of watermelon.

It was the evening of the second day of the watermelon feast that my oldest boy called me over to the bathroom.  His naturally dark face was as white as a sheet.  'Someone is bleeding' he whispered, pointing to the toilet.  Puzzled, I looked inside and was horrified by what I saw.  The toilet bowl was bright red with blood and ooze.  There was so much I almost passed out with fear.  I yelled for the other kids to come over, and demanded to know who had last used the bathroom, assuring them that nobody was in trouble.  One of my daughters stepped forward and apologized for not flushing the toilet. 

I was almost in tears as I checked her over, pressing on her tummy, checking her forehead for a fever, checking her eyes.  Did she hurt?  Was she dizzy?  Did she feel nausious? 

"No, I just think I ate too much watermelon" she replied.  It took me a moment to comprehend and  then I began to laugh almost hysterically.  My kids looked at me like I was nuts, which I am, but at that moment I was only relieved.  I looked at my daughter and asked her to slow down and chew her watermelon the next time to help with the digestion process.

So, add watermelon toyour list of foods that will pass through your system without digesting if not chewed thoroughly, along with peas, corn, nuts and greens.  And macadamia nuts will float, making it necessary to cover them with toilet paper to get them to flush.