OH NO, not again. (edited)

Another shooting at a Colorado high school, another senseless death... the murder of a life that had just barely begun, a future snuffed out before it could be realized.  How could this happen again?

How could an adult slip into a school unstopped, take over a classroom, and before its over take an innocent life along with his own, leaving the survivors in a nightmarish haze that may never clear.

I saw the news ticker on the bottom of the screen last night.... 'Shooting in CO high school leaves gunman and one female student dead'.  I sat upright in the chair, sure that I had read it wrong, hoping that I had read it wrong.  Would it have been better if it had taken place in another state?  Of course not, but having two children in high school and one in Jr. high , and with Columbine still an open file in my memory, this was too close. 

The gunman, the murder, is dead by his own gun and no longer a threat yet I wanted to keep the kids home today.  It wasn't so much for their safety as for my own piece of mind.  I trust the security of the schools.  The entrances are monitored by campus security.  I'm sure the other school had measures in place as well but our schools are safer I convince myself.  They would have noticed a stubble faced man trying to sneak in with the sea of young faces streaming into the school halls, they would have stopped and questioned him.  This would never have happened in my kids' schools.  Or so I tell myself because I need to believe it, just as, I'm sure, the parents of Platte Canyon High School believed of their children's school... until yesterday.

I saw the news reel as parents rushed in to collect their children, the fear etched across their faces replaced with tears of joy and relief as they were reunited with their teenagers.  Sadly one family would not know the comfort of holding their child safe in their arms.  There would not be reunion for them, and their nightmare would not end there.  It was only beginning.

Becca wanted to take the cell phone to school today.  It was hard to tell her no. 

"Fine, and if I get killed, I won't call you", she said, trying to be funny and failing.

It was harder to let her go to school, but if I fall apart how will she keep it together?  Instead, I gave her a little talk in the street and sent her off with a hug and a kiss.  She gave me her cutest smile and bounced off to join her waiting friends, her concerns already fading.  No doubt they will be revived once more during the morning announcements.  No doubt security will be beefed up even more.  In time, complacency will replace caution and somewhere in the country something like this will happen again.

And the country will shake its head in unison and ask 'Why?  How could this happen again?'

Or perhaps, stricter measures will be enacted to ensure the safety of our children while they are in school so that a little good might come out of this horrific tragedy. 

I pray that the family of Emily Keyes can eventually find peace for their broken hearts but the mother in me cannot imagine how that would ever be possible.