JUST ANOTHER .COM DAY

(I wrote and posted this in another blog over a year ago... hmmm, not much has changed really.)

 Wake up... grudgingly, (but then I remember the computer and I bounce out of bed.)

 Do my 'duties' in the bathroom, (quickly because the computer calls to me)

 Turn on the computer (this is a manuvere that can be completed in the dark thanks to a cyber-magnetic homing device in the tip of my right index finger)

 Pour a cup of coffee while waiting for Windows xp to load.  (too bad the computer doesn't load as fast as the coffee brews).

 Log on to AOL.

 Experience a feeling of peace and well being.

 Read e-mails from children who must forward any requests for funding or mediation.  This is the preferred method of communication since volume can be controlled and screen names can be ignored or deleted if need be.

 Read emails from spouse and wonder why he is fwd'ing a link to getajob.com.  Can't he see, I'm too busy to get a job!

  Check my horoscope so I know how I'm expected to behave today.

  Check lotto numbers to see if I'm a multi-millionaire yet.

 Realize that I am NOT a multi-millionaire yet.  Delete shopping cart at Macy's.

 Search for German bbq recipe to use for supper.

 Accept the risk of 7 years bad luck for deleting another Little Tommy chain letter.

 Consider ordering from the spammed penile enlarger catalog and switching them with spouse's One A Day vitamins just to see if it really works. 

 Log off as spouse's car turns up the driveway and turn on dishwasher to simulate work in progress.

 Intercept spouse on landing with beer and a promise to bring supper down while he relaxes on sofa infront of the TV.

 Rush upstairs and toss some frozen hotdogs into a pot on the stove.

 Log back on to AOL.