Computer, sweet computer!

I'm back on my pedigree Dell computer, and I am content!  I hate that Frankenstein computer upstairs, I will never EVER use it again!

The weather here has been a little freaky lately.  Yesterday and today we had tornado watches, not just warnings but watches!  So what does my less-than-average family do?  They all run outside to 'watch' for tornados.  Okay, I'll admit it, I was out there with them staring up at the cloud formations.  I have several 1 minute videos of some awesome swirling clouds directly overhead.  No, they weren't funnel clouds, but I've always wanted to see a funnel cloud and was thinking that I might be able to capture the formation of one.  My little Rocky was scared probably for the first time in her entire life.

'Swirling clouds in a tornado watch area is bad, right?  So shouldn't you be inside the house?'  She was awesome, she had all the pets downstairs near the crawlspace, just in case (including the hermit crabs).  It was her genuine concern that made me give up my lifelong desire to witness a funnel cloud first hand and go inside.  I wasn't worried, but she was, and I wanted her to know that her precautions were well founded.  In all there were about 4 funnel clouds spotted yesterday (none by me), with 2 confirmed touch-downs in the north.  I've got to admit I'm glad they weren't any where near my children.

I've lost 5 pounds since the discovery of the condoms.  I'm sure there's a weightloss fad in there somewhere, I'm just not sure how to market it.  Another thing I've noticed lately, I'm very sarcastic.  Okay, let me re-word that, I am MORE sarcastic than normal.  I'm thinking about giving my husband a box of Trojans for Father's Day.  I suppose I should be really mad and maybe even hate him, but heck, he's put up with me for 20 years, I can't help but admire him for that.  My own parents only put up with me for 23 years before they got me married off (to him, poor guy!) and out of their house.  So anyhow, I'm feeling a little 'disposable' right now, but I imagine I still have some recycleable qualities... somewhere.... besides the air that I breath and my paycheck that is. 

I've been puzzled by a strange occurance in my household.  I buy toilet paper every payday, a 4 roll pack for each ofour 3 bathrooms.  Thats 12 rolls of toilet paper every 2 weeks, or six a week.  We have 7 people in the house at the moment... 4 are male who use the 'drip-dry' method unless they 'do the doo'.  3 of us have full time jobs that keep us out of the house for up to 9 hours, 5days a week.  So where is all that toilet paper going?  I don't understand it.  I go maybe 4 times a day (including the time at work), which is 28 times a week.  There's no way I use a whole roll of toilet paper in one week, and I wipe EVERYTIME I go!  I'm almost sure I'm going to open a closet door one day and be hit by an avalanche of toilet paper rolls.  Or maybe there's a toilet paper Bermuda Triangle vortex thing... or a worm hole or some other strange phenomenon in my house that is responsible for the disappearance of countless rolls of Charmin over the months.  It just totally baffles me.

Finally, I've come to the conclusion that it was the Dirty Dish Fairy that I found floating in the kitchen sink the other day.  We've had to resort to paper plates and plasticware.  I had to buy some cans of soda because all the cups and glasses are dirty.  For now I must sign off so I can look up telekenetic methods and techniques which I hope to use to load the dishwasher.  I hope they have an accelerated course because I'm about out of paper plates!  In honor of the untimely passing of the Dirty Dish Fairy I shall be flying my dishtowel at half mast in the kitchen tomorrow.  She will be greatly missed.  Amen and good night.