SOMETIMES MY LIFE SUCKS LIKE A BIG BAD BABY

I am a firm believer that life is all about how you choose to react to all that is tossed out to you.  Most of the time I just duck, but laugh when I get splashed with a little bit of muck.  Today I am taking a break from ducking and laughing.

I'm going to be a grandma, have I ever mentioned that?  I am sooooo excited, I've been waiting to be a grandma ever since I heard that grandparents can get revenge on their own children by spoiling their grandbabies rotten.  I've been waiting almost 20 years for this!  Unfortunately my future grandbaby is in Ohio and I am still unsure if his mother will move back here in order for me to fulfill my rights. Heavy sigh, heavy sigh!  This is just not fair. My oldest boy is working again to get money to bring his girlfriend back and set up an apartment.  He's got a good job as a bartender.  Unfortunately he hasn't yet told his girlfriend that its at a booby-bar.  That would be a hard sell under normal conditions, but with her being pregnant and her hormones all haywire, and with the entire length of the country between them I don't see her being too forgiving about his choice of occupations.

Found some condoms in my husband's computer laptop bag.  Now I'm not so stupid as to think that he would need them on his fingers for cyber-sex.  He says he hasn't had time to do anything with them, like thats supposed to make me feel any better. Quite honestly I don't know what would make me feel better right now, maybe a Chippendale dude dressed in nothing but a bowtie and baby oil whispering in my ear 'You've got Mail' might help, but nothing else I'm sure.

My girls tore my cloth red white and blue Americana Rooster... thingie... almost in half.  I'm really not too sure what it was supposed to be, my son got it for me at an auction, so I just put it on the dining table when there's space.  They had a tug-of-war with it last night.  The rooster lost.  My husband lost his temper and started cussing at them.  Next thing I know I'm yelling at him for cussing at them for tearing the rooster.  How stupid is all that?  Calgon, take me away.

Actually I've tried the Calgon escape but it doesn't work.  For starters, my bathtub is too shallow.  And when I do try to have a bubble bath, the kids are always banging at the door asking things like 'what are you doing?' 'How long are you going to be?'. 

So anyhow, my girls are grounded today, which means that I am grounded because they can't be left home alone.  My husband is out with my youngest boy at the dirtbike track.  The girls are taking a break from cleaning their rooms right now.  Becca just asked me if I wanted a rootbeer float... without the icecream since we haven't got any... Sometimes I wonder if she was dropped as a baby.  I know I didn't drop her, but someone must have, this can't be normal.

Oh well, my break is over.  The dirty dish fairy must be on strike or something because she hasn't been here for weeks.  I've got a mountain of dishes to do so I better get started now.  Ahhhhh life, does it get any better than this?  (Please say it does... please!)