CONGRATULATIONS!

I woke up this morning to an excruciating cramp in my stomach.  Just as I closed my eyes and started to drift off again I was hit by another one.  2 minutes apart... oh Lord, I was in LABOR!  I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, breathing in the short little pants that I had learned from my Lamaze instructor.  The contraction passed but returned immediately, not even a minute apart!  I scrambled to the throne and sat with a splash.  Thanks Dickidoo... nothing like a cold water bath to wake yourself up in the morning!  No time to dry off, I got up, slammed the seat down and slid onto the porcelain throne just in time.  Later, I found myself amazed by the fact that I had produced such a marvel, but even more amazing was that I actually thought it would fit down the pipe with just one flush!  It would take 3 flushes and several layers of Charmine to weigh it down before it cleared the Flush-atorium.  I emerged several pounds lighter and with a new bounce to my step.  Ah yes, the pleasures of the morning constitutional!