GOT BROADBAND?

I don't.  I woke up this morning and could not log on.  That was such a critical situation that I even neglected to make my coffee.  I tried everything I could, I disconnected and reconnected connections, I wiggled wires and pushed buttons.    I rerouted routers and even tried connecting the laptop to the cable modem.  All to no avail.  Dickidoo even gave it a try.  My modem is winking and blinking, but it is not passing on any information.  I fear I have fried it.

So I am on dial-up.  I had forgotten how slow dial-up can be.  I gave up trying to load my photo journal, I have places to be tomorrow which is the projected download date.  The phone line is running across my kitchen and livingroom floor like some kind of techno-spaghetti, and the noise, the beeping and screeching of the modem as it tries to connect!  How did I ever survive before? 

The only good thing about this is that ever since I logged on  I have not received any calls for charitable donations.  Trying to resolve this problem with kids hanging all over me like little monkeys is impossible.  Much as it pains me to have to step away from the Internet, nothing will be accomplished under these circumstances so for the time being  I will throw in the towel and throw myself to the mercies of the Oompas.

I must also free up the phone so that I can ask the next charitable organization that calls to send ME a donation.  I need to get a new modem.  Ohhhhhhhh, woe is me!  I miss my broadband!