If I am a flower then you are a petal,
I am merely a stem without you.
If I am a tree then you are a leaf,
I am bare and vulnerable without you.
If I am a bird then you are a feather,
I cannot soar without you.
If I am a star then you are a twinkle,
I cannot shine without you.
If I am a river then you are a raindrop,
I could not grow without you.
I am, and you are there for me,
I could not be without you.
j.navakuku 04/21/06
Edited by Sandi (who is quite a talented poet, check it out: Life Is Full Of Surprises )
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14 comments:
Aww how sweet. I never know what I'm gonna find in this wild, dusty jounral of your's. Good entry....Have a Beer-Good Weekend!!!
Brenda
not all poetry has to rhyme.. so there.
isn't it strange when something we least expect comes out of us?!!
I don't know if I've ever written a poem that rhymes. Well, you know, maybe a limerick or two.
-Paul
http://journals.aol.ca/plittle/AuroraWalkingVacation/
Wow, That was great. Really enjoyed it.
Christina
Dorn...that was good. If you were to position your sentences as follows, you'll see that it does flow, it does rhyme and the rhythm is excellent when you speak this out loud.
If I am a flower then you are a petal,
Iam merely a stem without you.
If I am a tree then yu are a leaf, I
am bare and vulnerable without you.
If I am a bird then you are a feather,
I cannot soar without you.
I I am a star then you are a twinkle,
I cannot shine without you.
If I am a river then you ar a raindrop,
I could not grow without you.
I am, and you are there for me,
I could not be without you.
I'm learning on a poerty site that sometimes some words are not necessary and in this case the "but" threw the rhythm off.....hope you don't mind me taking liverty with this.....love the poem though....Sandi
I love it! ANd I read Sandi all the time... but you are a talented poet too!
be well,
Dawn
Lovely and sappy and beautiful!
Just found your journal today and I really enjoyed reading it.
Love your down-to-earth style and sense of humor!
Well Dorn,
I guess then that I am because you were. Love you way of thinking.
Your Dad
That's so nice. I'll have to check out sandi's journal. Have a great weekend.
http://journals.aol.com/am4039/life/
Lovely poem. I like it!
What a lovely poem ~ thanks for sharing it ~ Ally
This is a lovely poem. It reminds me of a children's book that I used to read to my boys. The little bunny plans to run away and become something else, but his mother always changes to something so that she can be with him. Very Nice!
Tina
This is a beautiful poem, Dorn! And I love the photo!
:) Heather
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