I am tipsy. Just a little bit, but tipsy just the same. Today was a bad day, a VERY bad day. I don't like to drink on bad days, this is why... because I get tipsy, and then I get emotional and say or write things that I normally would not. I should not blog when I'm tipsy. This is why.
I almost killed Becca today. I could have killed her, and others. The brakes gave out on Big Red on our way to the school after her dinner break. They had been making some gosh awful noises lately, I knew they were bad. I told Dickidoo but he didn't seem overly concerned so I ignored the obvious warning signs and kept driving. Today, at a busy intersection on the highway, at a red light, the brakes failed.
I have been sending all of my guardian angels to Iraq to watch over Gabe and his buddies, but one must have stayed behind because there was no traffic to my right and I was able to steer the truck safely to the right to avoid hitting the car in front of me. And I was able to keep my head and engage the emergency parking brakes before running the red light. My hands were shaking so bad, but the brakes re-engaged and I was able to get home safely.
So why, in my tipsy condition, am I writing now? Is it to gain sympathy? No, I deserve no sympathy. Is it to blame Dickidoo? Never! I could have taken it upon myself any time during the past two weeks to get the brakes fixed myself and I chose not to. Nope, this one is all on me.
I just need to vent. I need to get this out of my system. I need to say I was wrong and am grateful to be able to say it with out having harmed anyone along the way. I need to say I made a terrible mistake and am so sorry for it.
I'm afraid to drive Big Red now. Dickidoo is going to replace the brakes tomorrow, but I don't know... I just don't want to drive her any more. She's so big, and can do so much damage. I'm afraid of her now.
I've fallen off of the saddle and I don't know that I can climb back up again. I don't know that I want to climb back up.
Maybe I'll start walking. Walking is good. Maybe I can even lose some weight walking. That means leaving 45 minutes before work instead of 10 minutes. Hmmmmm, I'm always almost late when I drive, how the heck am I to get to work on time walking?
Maybe I'll just quit so I don't have to drive OR walk. All I know is that I just can't do this any more. This was too close.
I'm sorry Becca.
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16 comments:
Oh Jody! I am so sorry that such a terrible scary thing happened to you today! Good Lord! That is certainly a mother's nightmare, for sure!!! I know all your angels must be with Gabe...maybe this was the angels we have been sending you and yours through our prayers from way over here in NJ!!!
Here is a big soft squishy mom to mom hug....
be well and be safe and take Dickidoo's car....
Dawn
You know, you could look at this another way....Had you not been driving and someone else was.They may not have been able to stop or get the truck under control enough to avoid an accident.
Hon, you did everything RIGHT....YOU SAVED YOUR BECCA'S LIFE...YOU DID NOT HARM HER....
THANK GOD YOU WERE THERE.
love ya,
Carlene
Look at it as a lesson learned and be grateful, not sorry. Everyone is ok, so find the positive in the situation. The negative aspects will drive you loopy. Glad everyone is OK!
~~Kath~~
http://journals.aol.com/dklars/SecretGarden
I was in my mother's car when the same thing happened once. And being the one in the other seat I can tell you for sure.. I was damn glad my mother did whatever she did to prevent an accident when this happened!.. we both were ok.. we hit no one and no one hit us.. and yep were were coming up to a light with 5 streets comming together.. alot could have happened and would have if my mother didn't do whatever she did............I'm sure Becca is more then glad you were driving and did what you did..... and if she's not...she should be.
you did the right thing. i know it was scary i have been in a big truck driving down a mountain and lost the brakes i had both my kids and husband in the truck i could have killed us all but i didn't. i got the truck to slow down using the e brake and i hit the hill side softly. It will be ok i didn't want to ever drive that truck again but i got back in it and drove after dh changed all the brakes!
Thank God you were driving and not one of the kids
{{{{{{{{{{{{jodi}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Deb
((((Jodi & Becca))))
I'm glad you kept your head and did exactly what you were supposed to do! You did not fail Becca, Your brakes failed you! So this time you didn't listen to your intuition, you will next time and fear holds people bacl from living, don't let this hold you back........life is way to short and you know that already. Start again with big red going around the block a few times, when your more comfortable, do the neighborhood.....and so on. You are thick skinned like me and a big red truck ain't gonna get the best of of you! Ride cowgirl ride! lol
BIG HUGS to you!!! How scarey that must have been! I'm sooo glad you're all right. Now try not to beat yourself up over it... easier said than done, I know! Thankfully the brakes will be fixed now and you won't have that worry any longer.
Nan
just remember, you are safer in a big red truck..........more metal around you to protect you, especially when the brakes are repaired. get back into the saddle, gf. and stop worrying about "what could have been" and be thankful for "what was". God loves you, that is evident................
regina
Wow! That was scary!! BUT, you did all the right things and no one was hurt. All in all a successful outcome. As for it being your fault? Nope, things happen and I'm just glad that you are such a competent driver and handled it so well!!
{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}
I know you feel horrible, but you just got BENEFITS! That sounds like a very close, scary call but it sounds like you handled it just fine. I hope you are feeling better now and that the brakes are fixed. I just can't see you walking to work this winter. Too cold.
Traci
WOW!! That sounded like it was very scary! I am SO glad you are OK!! I got hit on I-95 (major 4 lane highway) and my car spun like a NASCAR car. I thought I was a goner! Luckily no one was around to hit me while I was spinning. There was a guardian angel on my shoulder for sure that day! When brakes fail, you have no control. When you get hit, you lose control. I can totally understand!!
Big hugs,
Gina
http://journals.aol.com/motoxmom72/GinasWeigtLossJourney
As long as your ok. That really did sound awfully scary. You poor thing. Go have another drink.
what a scare, and thank God everyone was okay and you are heeding the warning and having the brakes fixed. you'll get back on the saddle again, Big Red will get all dusty sitting there unused. It will be sad. You have to ride her again. Give it time. :-)
Oh, sweetie, I am so glad that you are okay...and that the gaurdian angel I sent to watch over YOU was on duty. LOL
love, Kas
Oh Dorn...glad that you are such a good driver...you managed to control it...thats a very scarey thing to happen. I never have driven myself but I've been a passenger in a few near misses and it does get the adrenline going real fast. Glad that you and Becca are ok....now climb right back on the red witch and show her who's boss! Sandi
I'm glad you guys weren't hurt, or worse. God forbid! I was afraid to drive my truck after it skidded of the road with me back in November. I'm still afraid of it even though I have new tires, but I'm still driving. Just being more careful now.
(((Dorn)))
Lahoma
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