FLIES and other annoyances

Don't know for sure where they're coming from, but there are dozens of flies buzzing around the house.  I wonder if the front door being left open all afternoon has anything to do with it?  The flypaper is finally catching something besides careless humans.  I'm sure the insect equivalent to PETA (PETI ?) would protest, but I get a certain sence of satisfaction when I see those nasty flies glued to that fly strip.  I feel bad when I hear them buzzing though, and go over to make sure none of them are little science experiments gone terribly wrong... with little human faces and sad little human cries for help...  Yes, I admit, I watched too much sci-fi as a child and every version of The Fly was my favorite!

We have 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a kitchen, dining room, livingroom, den, foyer, a laundryroom and 2 hallways.  The bedrooms and laundry room are the only rooms in the house that have all of the lights working.  The kitchen flourescent lights are burned out so we use the stove light to cook by.  I don't do dishes after dark. Half of the lights in the den are out, none of the livingroom lights work.  Until lastnight only one of the chandelier lights in the diningroom worked, it was like eatting by candlelight.  Half of the bathroom lights are burned out.  The lights on the foyer ceiling fan are burned out except for one, the back porch light is burned out and the screws are rusted on so we couldn't change it if we wanted to.  I never really notice the lights not working until night time, and by that time its too dark to find the lights... so we just wait until daylight... and forget again because we don't need the lights on then. 

We have a drip in one of the bathrooms.  It only drips at night.  We can be in the house all day and not hear a thing, but the moment we get in bed, there it is, a constant, deafening drip, drip, drip! I used to put a bucket under the faucet to catch the water, but then the drip echoed.  We tried tightening the faucets and washers, but they must be as old as the house, which is almost as old as me, which means theres no fixing those drips!  I guess we'll be replacing some plumbing come spring.  This really sucks because my spring cleaning listfor next year is getting longer and longer, and I haven't even finished this years list yet!  Oh yay!  I'm soooo excited, can you tell?

Viewer Discression Advised:(cover your eyes now if you are modest, easily embarassed or offended by discussion about the female menstral cycle... or are an AOL Editor considering my journal for a future feature) I am no longer a virgin... again!  And, wouldn't you know, its that time of the month.  Ol Auntie Flo has the worst timing, doesn't she?  Why is it that some guys take it so personally, huh?  News flash... women can't menstrate at will!  Heck, I don't even enjoy it, so why would I wish it upon myself?  Trust me guys, there nothing fun about strapping a super duper diaper between our legs and walking around looking like a kid with a prize in his pants for a week... And do you really think we enjoy Tampax? Hello...NO! It was almost worth getting pregnant just so I wouldn't have to deal with it for 9 months.  Believe it or not I'm actually looking forward to menopause just to be done with this!  I just pity anyone around me when the hot flashes start flashing and my mood swings start swinging! EDIT: This was always an issue in the Dickidoo vs. Boobidoo wars, but not yet with the New and Improved Dickidoo (in other words, I just started my period 5 minutes before I wrote this so he doesn't know... hehehehe)

Okay, you can uncover your eyes now.  I'm done. And check it out, no pee/ poop/ burp/ fart/ or snot stories! Think I'll make #1?