WHY I EAT WHAT I DO, THE WAY I DO

 When I was a kid my mom would serve artichoke for dinner when ever we could afford it, one of each of us.  My dad used to tell us that the hairy 'choke' would choke us, and being the kind and caring father that he was, he'd let us eat the leaves and then he'd take the bottom half of the artichoke and eat it himself, that way if anyone choked, it would be him and not one of us kids.  We just knew he loved us to make that kind of sacrifice!

It wasn't until I married and moved away that I discovered the truth... the heart of the artichoke is what is below the 'choke', and all those years my dad was scarfing all the best!  I tried the same tactic on my kids but they're so gutsy they don't care and they eat it all! 

I don't eat liver, why should I?  Do you know what the liver's function is?  It filters all the toxins before they get into the body's system.  So why would you want to eat it?  Its full of toxins folks.  I don't care if its cooked, its poisonous!  I'd rather lick my cast iron skillet than eat liver (by the way, cast iron cookwear do provide iron to your diet if you cook in them....).

I love ice cream, but the real stuff makes me.... loose.  I used to eat ice cream for breakfast when I was a kid on days that I didn't want to go to school so I'd get the runs and have to stay home (I never lied to my mom).  It worked every time and I had a clear conscience.

I love hotdogs, but not red hotdogs.  When I was in the 2nd grade we had red hotdogs for lunch.  Then a little boy behind me got sick and hurled allllllll over the class.  The smell hung in the classroom for the rest of the school year.  Ever since that day, every time I smell a red hotdog I am immediately transported to that place in time, and I cannot even touch the offending weiner let alone eat it.