NEW MORNING ROUTINE

I bought a lifetime membership to the Spa Health and Fitness Centers when I was 21  .  Not a bad deal, a lifetime membership.  I intended on going to the Spa 3 times a week.  How could they afford to offer that kind of service?  I found out within a week.  They didn't intend on my lifetime being very long at all.  They tried to kill me.  They employed a sadistic arobics instructor.  She wanted to make an example out of me.  She said it was for my own good, and that she loved me.  I hated her!  After my workout I would go to Wendy's and wave to her over my taco salad as she crossed the parking lot.  She would smile and wave back, and then work that taco salad off twice as hard the next time.  I stopped going after a couple of months and dedicated my butt-jiggle to her because saggy-butt was her pet peeve.

I don't know if my lifetime membership is still good.  I don't care.  I would never go back.  I still twitch and tremble at the memory of the psycho gym warden.  In recent days though I have become inspired to become more fit.  Okay, maybe my inspiration came when I had to run up a hill behind Dickidoo and our 60 year old friend and I was the only one out of breath when we got to the top... At any rate, a quick inspection revealed that somewhere over the years I have lost sight of my lap... quite literally!  My stomach, which once upon a time used to be flat and firm, has taken up residence in my lap, obstucting my view.  So I have started a morning routine.

I'm not sure if 2 days qualifies as 'routine', but two days in a row, thats a record for me!  For the past two mornings I have done crunches.  And I don't me jaw crunches, I mean abdominal crunches.  Yesterday it was 20 couch crunches.  In case you aren't familiar with couch crunches, those are real crunches, only they are performed on the comfort of your couch or easy chair because you are too dang lazy to get up and lay on the floor.  This morning it was bed crunches.  Dickidoo tried to take credit for those, but no, really, I did 28 crunches in bed while he showered after our combined synchronized work-out.  I feel... revitalized.  I feel energized!  I feel years younger. 

No I don't! I feel like a fat, out of shape 45 year old woman.   Later, when I have the energy to do come serious thinking I will have to evaluate whether or not seeing my lap again is really worth all this.  After all I haven't seen it in years so its not like I'm going to miss it. 

Gonna marinade in the hot tub later tonight, thats for sure.   Hmmm, I wonder if I can squeeze in a few jacuzzi crunches.