NUTRITIONAL FACTS

I was real good with my healthy eatting today.  For breakfast I just had two cups of coffee.  I snagged the last of the Irish Cream creamer, so my husband only had one cup.... you snooze you lose!  For brunch, which is my first break at work... 11am... I had a muffin and a Yoplait Strawberry and Banana Yogourt Smoothie, which is better than that thing I had for breakfast the other day... but it still feels like snot.  And wouldn't you know, thats what I call it... strawberry snot!  Why? you ask... well, if strawberries had noses, that is what their snot would feel and taste like!  Makes sence to my co-workers and so thats what they call it now.  I don't think Dannon and Yoplait will be contacting me for any customer appreciation awards though.

So anyhow, I had one of those strawberry snot drinks and a muffin.  The label on the bottle said 'breakfast smoothie', and listed all of the vitamins, minerals and other nutrients on a neat little Nutrition Facts chart.  Just about everything was at least 25% of the DV (daily value).  Cool!  I could drink 4 of these and have everything my body required for the day!  Of course my ... regularity... would be a little... shall we say moist?  And it would probably smell like strawberries!  Good thing I grabbed a muffin!  We need to get a little fiber and roughage in there!  I started reading the package of the muffin as I ate it.  Servings = 2.  Huh?  The muffin was 2 servings?  What the heck, do they really thing someone intentially buys these muffins and says.... 'well, this should cover breakfast for 2 mornings!'  Heck no!  And I ain't sharing either!  Can you imagine going into a restaurant and ordering a muffin.... only to have them bring out just half a muffin, because that is what a single serving is?  Utterly ridiculous!

By that time I was mad, and I ripped the top off of my blueberry muffin... and everyone at the table started laughing at me.  Haven't they ever seen someone eatting a muffin the way a muffin was supposed to be eatten... top first?  And don't anyone even thing about taking my other serving!  I ate the whole fricken muffin (they make the calories look reasonable... 210... but thats PER SERVING!  I ate the whole muffin, which was 2 servings, so the muffin was 420 calories!  Agh!  I quit!

And now, here I am, safe at home at last.  My stomach is growling... I mean its really growling, as in MAD growling because all its had today was the stinkin' strawberry snot and 2 servings of blueberry muffin.  So I console it with a Corona Extra.  There are no nutrition facts printed on the bottle of Corona.  Imagine that!  Ahhhhh, life is good again!