Wednesday, August 27, 2008


It's quiet here in the House of Oompa, but only for a few more minutes.  By 3:15 the first of the Southern Oompas will be home from school and the others should follow not far behind.

Dickidoo and his baby sister should be home from Kentucky by night fall.  They've been gone for a week taking care of some legal issues.  They took the baby with them since he's not in school yet.  That left me alone in the house with the other 7. 

During the past week we have developed a few new rules, such as the 'Stupid Question' rule.  Every stupid question comes with a 25 cent fine.  Stupid questions like 'What are you cooking?' when I'm standing at the stove scrambling with a plate of bacon on the side.  Stupid questions like 'Where is the milk?'  Just for the record I wasn't the one who came up the quarter fine.  I have always been of the thinking that every stupid question deserves a stupid answer.  'I'm cooking fried chicken, I'm just tryin' to hatch the eggs first.' and 'The milk is in the washing machine where we always keep it.'

11 people living in this house.  Every person has at least 3 pairs of shoes, 7 pairs of pants, 10 shirts, 10 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of undies ( and about 5 bras for each of the 5 females blessed with boobs).  That comes out to 77 pairs of pants, 110 shirts, 110 pairs of socks (or 220 individual socks), 77 panties and bvd's, and 25 bras.  Plus towels, and sheets, and blankets.  Good Golly!  That poor washing machine is going all the time, and I swear the toilet never stops flushing.

We go through at least a gallon of milk a day, and that's rationing it.  We make 3 pots of coffee and a 32 ounce bottle of Hazelnut creamer only lasts 2 and a half days with 5 coffee drinkers in the house.   The kids consume 5 boxes of cereal in a week, it would be more but we try to serve a hot breakfast on the weekends.  On scrambled egg morning we crack 18 eggs.  As for toilet paper, even with one Oompa still in diapers we have more than doubled the number of rolls we go through in a week.  I'm waiting for the Waste Management guys to notice the drastic increase in sewage coming from our address and to add some kind of mass waste surcharge.  It's just a matter of time.

Its Marching Band time again.  Rocky is a freshman and plays percussion in the pit.  Art (super-senior but only a 4th year marching band student) is back on the tuba and Becca is in her third year with the color guard.  'The Pride Of Mesa Ridge' competed at the Colorado State Fair in Pueblo, and took 1st in their division and 1st Overall!  Woo Hoo!  What a way to start off the season!  Go Mesa Ridge!  Go Oompas!

They're home......  (sigh, it was nice while it lasted).  Time to pull out my referee hat and the Stupid Question Quarter Jar.

I'm going to be very rich by the end of the year.

Heck, I'm going to be very rich by the end of the day!

Gotta love all those Oompa hugs though.

Monday, August 18, 2008


No, I've not been on vacation or hiatus.  In fact I've been far from it.  Lets just say that I've been a little busy.

Love the new job, hate the hours.  I've learned a new respect for the average Joe On The Street who is very honest.  On the other hand I've been introduced to a whole new level of 'stupid'.

Big Red is no longer a left handed truck (can only make left turns).   Big Red now has absolutely NO power steering.   On the bright side I now have huge toned biceps on both arms.

Grandma Jeannie is missing.  Grandma Jeannie was last seen in a cremation box labeled 'Violet Jean' some time shortly after the Southern Oompas arrival.  She has not been seen since.  Grandma Jeannie and I had our differences and I would not be surprised if her spirit is now laying in wait to haunt my butt for the rest of my time in this dimension.

There are 11 people living in the House of Oompa, Loompaland, USA.  8 of those people have long hair.  What is the worse thing that can happen to a household of 11, of which 8 have long hair?

Can you say 'head lice' ?

Interestingly enough Art, the one with the nappiest, knottiest hair, is nit free.  I guess his hair was so bad even the lice didn't want to live there.  Don't know if I have any yet.  I suppose Dickidoo and I will sit around and pick through each others hair later, kind of a primitive, primeval kind of thing... he can eat my lice and I'll eat his.  Grrrrrowllllllllll!

I have company for my 'Back To School Happy Dance' this year.  My sister-in-law will be in the cul-de-sac with me as the last Oompa leaves for the little cinder block school house tomorrow morning.  Well, we'll still have the littlest Oompa (Bubbah) but he doesn't talk yet so he's not so bad.

11 butts go through a whole lot more Charmin than 6 butts do, and that's a fact! 

And milk.

And hazelnut coffee creamer.

But the hug ratio has gone WAY up, and that is the best part of all!