Tuesday, February 28, 2006

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO... 'EWWWWW'!

Three words:

"Recycled Toilet Paper"

You know what?  I don't think so!  Even I am not that desperate!

Monday, February 27, 2006

MORNINGS

THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP:

*  Folgers in my cup, definitely!

*  Sunshine through my eyelids.

*  The sweet sound of a bird's serenade outside my window.

*  Cold water splashed on my face.

*  The taste of Crest.

*  The smell of cooking bacon, especially if someone else is cooking it.

THE WORST PART OF WAKING UP:

*  No Folgers in my cup.

*  The bedroom light in my eyes.

*  The screeching sound of Dickidoo's alarm 1 hour before I have to get up.

*  The feel of a cold toilet seat on my hiney.

*  The taste in my mouth before Crest.

*  The smell of my mouth before Crest!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

MOM AND DAD READ 'DUST BUNNIES'

I spoke to my Mom and Dad yesterday.  Funny how when I talk to them, I still feel like a kid.  That's not bad, mind you... its not like they intimidate or belittle me.  Quite the contrary, they have treated me with respect for more years than I actually deserved.  For that reason I adore them even more.  But I still feel like their little girl when I talk to them.

My Mom doesn't get on the computer much.  My Dad is one of my most loyal readers of Dust Bunnies.  He reads some of my entries aloud to my mother.  I am glad.  Now I don't feel guilty about not writing to them.  Yesterday Mom described my writing as 'eloquent'.  What a wonderful compliment.

I can only assume that she was not referring to my recent 'fart' entry.

Friday, February 24, 2006

ALGE-WHAT?

(got this one from Scalzi's By The Way)

Einstein Blackboard: (write your own messages)
Its no secret that I have always hated math... especially Algebra!  I am of the belief that numbers are for counting and letters are for spelling.  The only time the two should be mixed is when you are actually spelling the number, like the number 1 is spelled 'one'.  That's it.  None of that (x² + y³ = z).  That's just crazy.  That's not math, that's jumbled up refrigerator magnets!  But I did take the time and effort to learn 1 (one) formula, and it is with great pride that I share this mathematical brilliance with the late great Einstein. 

X + Y = WTF

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Well loyal and faithful readers, its been a fun filled, fart free week.  I've met new bloggers, new readers, long time lurkers and not one single heckler... I've investigated new journals, I've browsed old ones.  I've relived past entries that incited new fits of laughter or renewed pain and sorrow, but it was well worth it, each an every moment.

But it is time to pass the baton to the next guest editor, and I do it with honor.  I have served my time, I have done my duty to the best of my ability and I am a better person for it.

Thanks to all of my featured authors for allowing me to share their journals, and a very special thanks Journals Editor Joe (the REAL editor) for taking the risk and allowing me the honor this week.  Its been a blast.  And speaking of blasts....

(phew!  I thought I was going to explode there for a moment!  Glad I got that out of my system!)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

SPELL CHECK

Hey, check it out, the word 'fart' isn't listed in the journal's spell check vocabulary.  How will I ever know if I've spelled it wrong?  How wrong is that!

(and before plittle, astaryth and kimbellina say anything, technically this isn't a post about farts.  Its a post about the exclusion of the word from spell check, so there!)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD

My parents met and married in Hawaii and now, 48 years later, my dad claims that they are still on their honeymoon. 

Hmmm,  I guess they waited until after I moved out to begin the honeymoon!  I remember being dragged across the country in the back of a station wagon... we always had a station wagon, never a regular car like all of my friends' families.  Of course the fact that there were 6 of us kids may have played a small part in the decision to travel in station wagons.  I remember leftovers for supper every other night, but I was always full when I stepped away from the table.  Fun yes, exciting, maybe sometimes, but no honeymoon!

My dad was in the Navy, a submariner.  To me it seemed that he was gone more often than he was home.  Mom filled the days with homemade cookies and crafts.  We couldn't afford fancy clothes but nobody knew because my mom was a talented seamstress and none of the other kids had dresses or blouses near as beautiful as we did.  My dad, when he was home, was always dragging us outdoors hiking or exploring.  Life was never boring.  And if we were bored, we'd never admit it because we learned that even just the mention of the word 'bored' would send my mom into a rant that usually ended up with us scrubbing or cleaning something to occupy our bored selves.  No, I tried not to be bored in my mother's house!

I spent most of my teenage years vowing never to be like my parents.  Now as the parent of teenagers myself, I find what most parents of teenagers discover... that I am very much like my parents.  Do I mind?  No, not nearly as much as my children mind.  Silly clich├ęs spout from my lips all the time... 'Do as I say, not as I do', 'Two wrongs don't make a right', 'If your friends told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?',  'Don't swallow bubble gum or you'll blow bubbles when you fart.'  (oh wait, that one was mine!)

48 years, that's amazing.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my parents have achieved that much, considering the fact that they survived raising 6 children.  I just hit 22 years myself and 26 additional years seems like an awful lot of tolerance and compromise but yes, I would love to be just like them.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

BIG MISTAKE!

Tomorrow is payday.  Today I still had $6.34 in my checking account so I decided to clear it out and make room for the new crop of cash.  On the way home from the pond I stopped off at 7-11 and picked up some Pop Rocks for the kids.  That wasn't the mistake though.

No, the mistake was when I wondered out loud what would happen if someone got a Pop Rock stuck up their nose.  The next thing I know Rocky is informing me that 'Nothing happens'.  Not sure that I was hearing what I thought I had heard, I looked to where she was sitting on the couch.  Only now she was laying back, with the pack of Pop Rocks held up to her nose.

"It doesn't work" she declared.  "Maybe it will work in a runny nose..." That's when I put my foot down and ended the experiment. 

Edit:  Okay, so the kids don't listen to me and yes, Pop Rocks DO pop in the nose if there is enough moisture present.  Note to self, do not buy the kids any more Pop Rocks, and for goodness sakes, don't 'wonder' out loud!

LETTERS TO GABE

In October of 2004 my oldest son Gabriel left home for boot camp.  I let him spread his wings with mixed emotions.  A few years earlier a young and very close friend of the family left for boot camp and returned a few weeks later in a casket escorted by my husband.  People told me not to worry, that Gabe would never do anything like that, but truth be known, our friend never would have done anything like that either.  So in order to relieve the stress on my anxious heart, I started a journal where I recorded my thoughts for Gabe.  Its been almost a year since he graduated from basic training and Gabe is currently serving in Iraq.  I continue the journal now because he is able to read my letters even when he cannot talk to us.  Through snail mail, the phone and the internet we have been able to keep in touch of him during this very difficult and dangerous separation.  The journal began as something just between Gabe and myself, but over the months it has become a way for family, friends and supporters to keep in touch with him.  For those of you who have never had a child serving in harms way, this is just a glimpse of what I go through on a daily basis.

WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH
January 11, 2006

Dear Gabe,

I get so many touching and supportive comments here and on Dust Bunnies from people who state that they can't imagine what I must be going through.  This is just a brief summary of what I go through each and every day.

I log on the computer almost as soon as I get up.  Most mornings I try to get the coffee going first so as not to appear too anxious.  Some mornings I go straight to the computer... usually after several days of not hearing from you.  Your dad teases me sometimes, but he knows why it is so important and he patiently awaits to hear whether there is news from you or not.

I am always elated to see your name in my mailbox, but I open the email with caution now.  Too often of late your letters have arrived bearing tragic news.  Even when you don't put the words down, I can tell by the tone of your letter if something is wrong.  A mother can sense these things.

After checking my mailbox I will check the status on my mail sent to you.  I look forward to a date and time on the status window.  Lately there have been days where the emails sit marked (unread) for days.  I already know the routine, that usually precedes bad news.

I leave the computer on until the very last minute on the chance that you might log on while I am home.  It is always with great reluctance that I finally log off and leave for work, many times speeding to beat the time clock.  My lunch hour begins with me speeding home to log back on to check if you have written or read your mail.  Once again I wait until the last minute to log off.  I am tortured by the thought that you might be signing on just as I sign off.  I hate that I might miss a chance to talk with you.

I would love to devote my entire day watching for your name to appear on my buddy list.  In the early days of your deployment I did, but I have learned to step away and tend to the others who still need my attention.  Rocky and Becca have their moments and I must be solid for them.  I have all kinds of optimism for them, and they are easily consoled.

At work I listen to the young wives who struggle to cope while their husbands are deployed.  I coach them, I console them.  I hug the mothers who share my vigil.  I shake the hands of the vets who have done their time.  I am a proud and strong patriot.  Others come to me for support.  They don't know how vulnerable I feel.

I should listen to my own advice, but many nights I sit in front of the computer, trying not to focus on the words that I don't want to read.  Sleep is either elusive or unrestful.  I no longer dream, I don't dare.  Instead I close my eyes and let the darkness muffle my thoughts.  I wake up as tired as I laid down.  Coffee has become an instinct, not a habit or pleasure.

I have begun surfing the internet for all the information I can get so I can better understand what you are going through but cannot say or write.  The reality once shook me with uncontrollable grief.  Now I read with intense but controlled sadness.  I want to say so much more to you in our private letters and here online so others might also understand, but I don't dare for fear of jeopardizing you or others in some way.

And so when someone asks me how I am, I smile and say 'Fine'.  And when they ask about you, I smile even harder and say 'Oh, you know Gabe, he's fine too', and they smile contentedly because that is what they want to hear.

But there is no exaggeration on the number of well wishes and prayers sent out on your behalf.  If prayers were feathers you could fly home son.  But you have your mission so may the feathers instead envelope and protect you until you can come home.

Miss you so much, love you always,

Mom

LETTERS TO GABE

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

THE FRAGRANCE OF ADOLESCENCE, and photography

I have a house full of adolescence teenagers.  My house smells like a whore house in the morning.  I am practically gagging as I come down the hallway in the morning.  Dickidoo is usually gone before the kids start their daily preening but he starts later with his new job.  This morning he joined me in the 'gasp for life'.   Art explains that he wears his cologne so heavy because it wears off quickly.  Becca educated us on the fact that 'cologne' was spelled with a silent 'g'.  Too bad it didn't have a silent 'scent' as well.  The air quality can't possibly be healthy in here.  I can almost taste it.  Yuck!

I heard that in his last video, Osama Bin Laden vowed that he would never be taken alive.  Okay, sounds good to me.  Carry on Troops, as you were!

Next to my family (notice I said 'family' and not 'home'), photography is my biggest hobby.  I took a class in black and white photography in high school, but it only touched on the surface of the craft.  Later I tried to continue my love for the craft but was limited to 36 exposures per roll, plus the cost of developing which made it difficult when one was living on a budget.  A few years ago Dickidoo purchased me a digital camera and all of that changed.  Last year he bought me a bigger and better digital, an SLR with a zoom lens, and I haven't been home since!  Its not unusual for me to shoot up my entire memory card in one outing.  My card used to hold 500 exposures but I've upped the resolution so now it holds only 250.  Not a problem, I just go home, download the files to my computer and go back out again!  Online I have been guided by Steven from (sometimes)photoblog who's awesome pictures accompanied by tips and how-tos have inspired me greatly.  I have recently joined up with a wonderful group of digital photographers at the The Round Robin Photo Challenges that not only gives me the opportunity to strut my stuff but allows me to see the diverse interpretation of a simple theme from about a dozen other remarkable photographers.  A special 'shout out' to Plittle from Aurora Walking Vacation who not only offers his appreciation for my work, but occasionally leaves advice which challenges me towards new techniques. 

For a good time, click here!  Don't worry, its just the link for my photo journal.

Through the Eyes of the Beholder.....


SOLEMN OFFERING, 11/13/05

Monday, February 20, 2006

WARNING! and Family Camo.

Hummus and Lousiana Hot Sauce on French bread do not make a good bedtime snack.  Shoooo-eeeee!  And thats all I'm going to say about that. 

Dickidoo had a nice birthday.  Maybe it was because he spent the day hunting with Art.  Or maybe it was because he didn't spend the day with me.  What ever the reason, he had a nice day.  We gave him a nightvision monocular for his birthday being as he starts a new job on Tuesday that will find him out and about in the dark outdoors... in some of our favorite hunting grounds!  (Now do you see why he is so happy to get this job?)

Everyone in my family hunts.  Little Rocky just graduated from Hunters Safety last month.  She took the exact same test I did about 8 years ago, and she scored better than I did!  They give the children the same test but allow them more mistakes.  I think it should be the other way around because its obvious who the smarter students are.

I have a hunting journal but haven't updated it recently.  In fact, I haven't added an entry since October.  However, if hunting interests you, take a peek at my Treestand ramlin' (and other tall tales) .


The gang before daybreak on opening day of spring Turkey season 2003 (?)  Becca dropped the biggest tom that season.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

BIRTHDAY BOY

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

DICKIDOO!

And congratulations on the new job.  (When do I get to quit working again?)

Your loving wife, Boobidoo.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

BLOGGERS ANONYMOUS

"Hello, my name is Dornbrau and I am a Blogging Addict.  I have 7 public journals on AOL.  I have lost track of most of my non-AOL blogs.  The alternative to blogging is what... drinking?  I could be an alcoholic, but I'm just a blogger.  So this is a good thing then.  Now get off my back and leave me alone!  I've got some blogging to do!"

Actually the above statement is true, and throughout the week I will be introducing some of my other journals.  It seems only fitting to start with my BLOGGERS ANONYMOUS journal.  As soon as it went public in June of 2004 I realized that I was not alone in my obsession.

Here is a repost of my first entry in BLOGGERS ANONYMOUS.  If you read through it and find yourself nodding in recognition of some of the symptoms, you may be an addict yourself.  We are currently accepting new members, just leave your name and link at the desk.

SYMPTOMS OF A BLOGGING ADDICTION:
June 10, 2004

* You check your journal more than 10 times a day, or even 10 times an hour

* You have more Journal Comment Alerts in your mailbox than spam

Your best friends have screen names and URLs instead of real names and street addresses.

*  You log down the number on your hit counter before you sign off at night and check it first thing in the morning.  You record these numbers for future reference.

*  You have actually been late for work because you were reading your favorite journals.

*  Your family has to leave a comment on your journal to get your attention.

*  You turn the volume up when you walk away from the computer so you can hear when the alert alarm sounds.

*  You beg strangers to read yours if you'll read theirs!

*  Being the #1 Editor's Pick is more important to you then winning a Pulitzer Prize.

These are just a few of the many symptoms of Blogaholism.  It is an incurable disease and can only be treated by steady doses of blogging.  So Blog on my friends!

BLOGGERS ANONYMOUS

Friday, February 17, 2006

HI WORLD, ITS ME... THIS WEEK'S GUEST EDITOR!

                   

Yep, AOL Journals has finally succumbed to my greatness and talent and selected me to be this week's Guest Editor.  Or maybe they just got tired of me whining and pestering them for the honorary title, but so what, who cares.... I'm it, its ME!  Woo hoo! 

I've been journaling with AOL for close to 2 years now.  I organized the Dust Bunny Club of North America back in March of 2004.  No, its not a real club, I just happen to have a lot of the little critters congregating in the various nooks and crannies throughout my house and who am I to disturb them.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a total slob, I do have my pride and will do a mad dash throughout the house moments before company arrives, but for the most part me and my dust bunnies live in peaceful harmony.

My life is a hodge podge of things, I'm a hunter and yet I love to observe animals during the off season armed with nothing more than a camera.  Photography is my most passionate hobby at the moment.   I have 5 children, or Evil Little Oompa Loompas as I call them.  Actually they are no longer 'little' and in fact only my youngest is shorter than I.  My oldest joined the Army in the fall of 2004 and is currently serving in Iraq.  The other 4 still live at home and drive me crazy (er) every chance they get.  My husband of 22 years is lovingly referred to in this journal as 'Dickidoo' (I'd explain it but I promised Joe the Editor that I would be good this week).  My blogging is for fun.  For a living I work part-time at a retail store for grocery $ to feed my litter of Oompas.  I'd be rich if they didn't need to be fed.

In keeping with my hodge podge lifestyle, I present a hodge podge collection of journals.  I was challenged to find 6 journals that had not been featured before.  A couple of my picks you may already be familiar with.  A couple I visited for the first time yesterday but was so impressed that I wanted to spot light them.  So here they are, in no particular order:

 A penny for my thoughts  (caution, explicit language)  I read cmbtvt's journal for the first time earlier this month after seeing his link on the Journals message board.  His entries are pro-military and pro-common sense.  As a rule I try to steer clear of political type journals, but I'm glad I checked his out. One may agree or disagree with him, but he always gets you to think.  Don't be scared away by my use of the 'p' word.... its not all politics.  He has a great sense of humor as well.

 Dock Lines...  I first became aware of gaboatman by the comments he would leave in other journals.  He had compassion and a sense of humor that I could appreciate.  I would peek into his journal from time to time over the months and have never been disappointed by his stories, whether they be about his family, his job, his online friends or life in general.  This is the journal of a big hearted man.

 Bee's Shutter  This is a journal that I discovered yesterday while going through the Favorites from another journal.  All I can say is.... how did I miss this one before?  The images are out of this world!  Definitely a must-see if you're into nature and photography. 

 Here, There, and Everywhere    I first noticed deslily a couple of months ago when her name appeared in my comments section.  I visited her journal and immediately felt at home.  She is very vivacious and is also a very talented artist.  I never know what I'm going to find when I pull up her page.  On today's menu, a luscious sketch of DeForest Kelly.  (Yes, she's a Trekkie.... Look at my Tribbles deslily!  )

 Lost in my own thoughts  Swmpgrly has been making me laugh for over a year now with her journal and the humorous comments that she leaves in mine and other journals throughout Jland.  She is also quick to lend a shoulder and encouraging word to others. She's had her share of hard knocks and is in fact having to cope with illness in the family as well as other issues and yet she still finds a way to smile.  That's my girl!

 We Support You is my only non-AOL blog pick.  I chose it because it addresses something that is very close to my heart... support for our service members deployed abroad.  This blog doesn't stop there though.  It encompasses ALL of the branches of service, in ALL active theaters, in ALL states and bases, where ever they are in the states or in the world, to include those from past conflicts.  There are letters and photos from soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, there are letters from World War I and II.  There are articles from newspapers and stories from family members.  When I visit the blog, and I do so regularly, I always come away with a comfortable feeling in the knowledge that patriotism is alive and well in this great country of ours. 

I hope you will enjoy these journals as much as I do.  If I may also suggest,  check out the journals listed on other journals favorites column.  Mine lists a few of my other journals, please feel free to check them out.  Do a topic search in the journals search bar on the Main Journals page, and then click on a link to some of the journals pulled up.  Or check out this really cool, neat-o wow journal of past Editor's Picks Archives (thanks onestrangecat).  Just find a name you aren't familiar with and click it!  You may be pleasantly surprised.

Now, if you will excuse me for a little while, me and the dust bunnies are going to go to the den and do the happy dance!  Woo hoo!

( Holy mackerel!  I just did a spell check on this entry and dang!  I had so many typos that it looked like I had added a yellow background to this entry! )

Thursday, February 16, 2006

These are my three youngest Oompas.  This picture was taken in '94, not too long after Rocky was born.  Thats Art on the left and Becca on the right.  See how nicely they are playing together?  I think that was the LAST time they were ever nice to each other!  Becca and Rocky have been fighting since yesterday.  They went to bed arguing over who would keep a borrowed book in their room overnight.  Why would it matter where the book was while they were sleeping?  It didn't make sence to me, but it really mattered to the girls.  It mattered so much that they woke up and resumed their debate.  When the girls aren't going through their pre-pms/sibling rivalry, Art is constantly harassing them about the size of their butts and the length of their mustaches.  I'm thinking that with Wally World's easy return policy I just might be able to turn them all in and get a refund on all of the money I've spent on them over the past 11, 14 and 16 years... and buy some pet rocks.  Pet rocks don't eat, or talk, or fart or turd and forget to flush.  And they don't use up the last of the toilet paper!  Yep, thats exactly what I'll do!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

SUBLIMINAL SUCCESS!

Who knows if my telepathic, subliminal suggestions actually work, or if Dickidoo really knew the way to my heart, but who cares?  He came home with a box of chocolates, a box of Smooches, and a box of wine!  And I pampered him with a romantic meal of gourmet smoked oysters drizzled with Louisiana Hot Sauce  and BBQ wings while we watched the NASCAR time trials or something like that... not really sure since I did not inherit possession of the remote control for the night as I had hoped.  But it was a very nice night, and the fragrance of smoked oysters still lingers in the air this morning to renew memories of my now past Valentines Day. 

Phew.... Someone open a window in here.  Where's the FeBreeze?  I think I need to get the super dooper mega sized cans and mount them on the walls throughout the house like fire extinguishers so they will always be available.  Man, this is bad, and Zack's date is meeting him here tonight.  That poor girl has no idea what she's getting herself into.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

STUPID CUPID, START PICKING ON ME!

Now, before you congratulate me, no, this is not a picture of a gift I received this morning from my sweetheart.  This is a stock photo of the gift I would LIKE to receive from my sweetheart.  (Big time heavy hint here Dickidoo... do you see it?)  My earlier subliminal message for the SPEEDCLEANING 101 author has as of yet gone unanswered so I have decided to take a more obvious approach with Valentines.  And.... to add a little gentle persuasion I handed my honey of 23 Valentine Days a card and a bag of Hershey's Peanut Butter Kisses.  Art thinks his dad won't produce, but I think other wise.  Last year it was lobster, this year I feel.... flowers, yes!  Or maybe a nice bottle of wine.  (Or a box of wine, that's nice too.)  Or maybe just a nice cuddle on the couch and dibs on the remote control for the evening!  And for those of you who think that possession of the remote control isn't a big deal, you obviously have never sat down in front of the TV with Dickidoo before!  He wants TIVO with the ability to not only flip through channels but the option to fast forward and rewind as well.  I say... OVER MY DEAD BODY BUCKO!  (Did I ever write about the time I stood behind him with a universal remote and every time he changed the channel, I would flip it back?  I wish I could have seen his face, but all I could see was the back of his head as he kept pointing and shaking the remote at the TV trying to get it to stay on one channel.  He finally busted me when I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore.)

So anyhow, Happy Valentine's Day Dickidoo!

Monday, February 13, 2006

DUST BUNNY CLUB, REDNECK EDITION

The Dialectizer)

Do yo' knows whut happens when yo' try t'remove a cup of yogurt fum a 12 cup variety pak wifout removin' th' outter cardboard wrapper fust?  ah do! Fry mah hide!  Th' cup of yogurt will splode an' splatter ev'rythin' in th' vacinity wif blueberry snot... includin' yer wawk clo'es! Fry mah hide!  Don't try this hyar at home kids.  Some thin's sh'd only be attempped by professhunals.

Writ by do'nbrau . Link t'this intry | Blog about this hyar entry | Notify AOL

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