Tuesday, May 31, 2005


I am voluntarily unemployed.  Some people would see it as laziness, or the inability to hold a job.  On the contrary, I wanted to stay employed, and my bosses wanted me to continue working for them, but family priorities come first and I must consider what is best for the kids before I consider what is best for me.  I miss my paycheck.  I miss my friends.  I miss interacting with people my own age.  But the benefits to my children were immediately evident.  Zack graduated, Art and Becca pulled their grades up, and Rocky made phenominal improvements.  I do not have any regrets.

Dickidoo on the other hand may disagree.  I'm sure he hoped that along with being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) I would also fulfill the role of HW (House Wife).  Well, I'm his wife, and I live in our house, but thats about as close as it gets.  I hated cleaning while I was employed, and I still hate cleaning now.  I have managed to keep the dishes caught up, and I love having time to experiment and prepare hot, full course meals on a regular basis. Anything other than that sucks with a capital S U C K S

There has to be a better name to describe my role in society now.  Housewife is so outdated, and quite frankly it just doesn't fit.  SAHM sounds so... military, like I should have to report to some drill sgt. or superior officer.  I am not a domestic engineer, I am not a homemaker.  My job is to provide a stable environment for my family to thrive in.   I have no degree or formal education.  My training has all been on-the-job.   I am a doctor, a nurse, I am a teacher, a preacher, a couselor, I am a detective, a law enforcement officer, judge and jury.  I am a magician, a story teller, an artist and a musician.  I am a culinary wizard and a nutritionist.  I am a philosopher, a psychologist and an analyst.  I am an umpire, referee and mediator.  I demand fairness and yet I often practice blatant blind loyalty in regards to my offspring.  I am a gentle caregiver and yet can turn into a protective grizzley when my children are threatened.

So what am I?  What name, what one word can best describe me and the millions of other women like me through out the world?  What am I?  Tired comes to mind.  But seriously I am just being maternal.  I am a mother, plain and simple.  There needs to be no fancy title or silly acronym.  The pay sucks, but the benefits are fantastic and definitely worth it.  I couldn't think of a better job to have than being a mom !  (Except maybe a quality control specialist for Godiva Chocolates.... mmmmmmmmm!)

Godiva Chocolates  (hint, hint!)


We spent the Memorial Day Weekend up in the mountains of Florence, Colorado for the Annual Colorado Springs Muzzleloaders Association Shoot.  Black powder guns and cannons are the main attraction at the camp-out, but there are other activities going on throughout the weekend.

Rocky was invited to join some musicians in a sing-along after dinner on Saturday night.  3 guitars, a banjo, a mandolin, a jaw harp, a Native American flute, a pair of spoons  and several trom-butts made up the band.

I would love to take credit for this picture, but Rocky was actually the one behind the camera while I distracted my camera-shy son Art.


Becca took my place in the club tent this year, freeing me up to wander the camp with my camera.  Zack passed the time between rounds at the cannon range by perfecting his tomahawk skills.

All I can say is a man has got to be very secure with his maculinity to ride around on a little pink ATV!  It was an exciting weekend but as with all trips, it was nice to finally get back home. 

We brought a stow away with us and our stove is now the home for a huge black cricket who has been serenading his appreciation for the past 10 hours.  It was pretty for the first hour, amusing for the second hour, but now its just down right annoying!  If it doesn't shut up soon I'm turning the ferret loose!

Thursday, May 26, 2005


I have often refered to my youngest daughter as 'Mini Me'.  She has developed my humor, my sarcasm, unfortunately for me my temper and most unfortunately for her... my allergies!  Too bad she hasn't quite refined my ingenuity.  Rocky, dearest, if you're going to use a pen to scratch the hives on your back, make sure you don't use the end of the pen you write with, okay sweetie?  Just a thought.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

OOMPA LOOMPAS and the filibuster.

Where do evil little oompa loompas live?  Why, in rocks, of course!  How they made their way into my home is a mystery to me.  I took the kids with me to the Garden of the Gods where they were able to play around on the rocks to their hearts' content.  They seemed so at home that I was tempted to leave them there, especially once they started arguing!  And what were they arguing about one may wonder?  Why, rocks, of course!

I was wondering why the body doesn't have an early warning system in place for when you eat something that doesn't agree with it.  Why does it take so long for the body to realize, 'oh dang, I don't like this salsa, I think I'll let it pass through.'  Why does it wait until AFTER one eats the same salsa a second time the following day before it alerts the owner of the body that things are not compatible in the digestive system and therefore the salsa is being rejected as is from the intestines.  Come on... if I had known a little earlier I wouldn't have eatten any more of that salsa!  If I had been warned right after the initial consumption, it could have been in and out right away without lingering consequences. 

But no... my intestines had to form a committee.  In the mean time I'd all but over-dosed on Pace Southwest Medium Heat Picante and my digestive system was pulling a filibuster!  Now, for the 10th time since I got up today I must retire to my chamber and tend to my conservative innerds.  With issues like this, who needs politics?

Monday, May 23, 2005


The best thing about weekdays is that I don't have to share my pot of coffee.

We left the door wide open when we went out the other day.  It was locked, just not shut!  When we got home I ran into to check to see if someone had cleaned us out.  Nope, it was still the same mess we left it in.  I didn't do it on purpose, but man, it would have been nice to come home to a clean house.

I finally got to see Star Wars, something about the Sith... I call it Star Wars 6, but my kids say its actually Episode 3.  The movie was excellent.  I have had the pleasure of seeing ALL of the Star Wars movies on the big screen, as they are meant to be seen.  When we got home we watched the first Star Wars movie, which I call Star Wars 1, but the kids insist its Star Wars Episode 4... yeah, what ever!  The movies phase in together well though, don't they, even if they were made years apart and with different actors.  The best part of the movie for me was when they locked Darth Vader's helmet into place for the first time and he started breathing.  Oh yeah, I started cheering and clapping in the theater, and he was the bad guy!  Man, that was awesome though.

Does the Dark Side ever eat?  I've never in the 6 episodes seen them eating.  I'll bet it must suck to be Vader at supper time with that screw-on mask.  Does he have a liquid diet that he drinks through a straw?  Imagine what those Storm Troopers have to go through just to use the bathroom!  Even a simple fart would be confined to their suit, that could be deadly!  I guess there are some disadvantages to being a bad guy huh?

Saturday, May 21, 2005


So.... Dickidoo and I joined a bunch of friends at Looneys for the late showing of Jac Rene, the hypnotist.  You may recall we went to see him perform last year and Dickidoo attempted to be hypnotized, but being the control-type-freak that he is, he was unable to relax enough to go completely under.

This time he did not volunteer to go on stage, but chose instead to do the relaxation exercize right there in his seat beside me.  I sat quietly munching on my french fries as the hypnotist gave his instructions with that very soothing voice of his.  I guess Dickidoo was really getting into it because his breathing got slower and deeper, and his head was hanging lower with each passing moment.  The hypnotist even came over and had me move the bowl of fries from in front of him just in case he did go under.  But I guess the sound of the moving fries jolted him back to the present as his instincts to protect his food responded.  The moment was lost. 

Or so I thought, until the hypnotist began the fun part of the show and started messing with the participants' minds.  He turned on a fan, got a spray bottle of water and began spraying the folks on the stage with water as the sound effects of a storm played overhead.  Lights flashed and his voice described a raging storm.  Beside me Dickidoo chewed on his fries, pausing to rub his arms now and again.   I wasn't sure I was seeing what I thought I saw so I turned to watch him.  He laughed at the folks shivering on the stage, but all the while he was shivering himself.  I mean, he was rubbing his arms with his hands and his teeth were chattering!  It was halarious!

Throughout the show there were little indications that Dickidoo was in fact hypnotized to a slight degree.  He would yawn uncontrollably when the participants were instructed to 'sleep'.  He was very succeptible to suggestion by the hypnotist.  And he kept smacking me with his leg as he shook it almost nervously and yet unconciously.  He was acting like a kid with way too much sugar in his system, he was that hyper!  Maybe it was the Jack he was drinking, but I believe it was more like theJac hewas listening to!  Of course he denies it and says he was just putting on an act himself, but I don't think so.  Next time I'm making him go up on stage, that could really be fun, at least for me!

Friday, May 20, 2005


89 Days Til School Starts!

Yesterday was the last day of school for the kids.  Yesterday was the last day of peace and quiet for me.  They are home until the middle of August.  Rocky had an end of the year party and volunteered me to bake.  Yay!  Unfortunately everything went wrong.  I didn't have all of the ingredients, I had a 10 am appointment, the party started at 10:30... I had to push the appointment back to the afternoon, rush to the store, hurry up and wait for the dough to rise, rush back to the store to get what I had forgotten, hurry back to hurry up and wait some more.

After the kids got home I had to rush off for my appointment.  When that was over I thought I could relax at home but the kids wanted to get out.  I wanted to sit down.  Rocky wanted to jump on the trampoline.  I repeat... I wanted to sit down... in the cool den! That was when Rocky, with her psychic abilities, announced that it was going to be a boring summer because there was nothing to do.  It wasn't even day one, school had just gotten out a couple of hours ago, and she had already come to that conclusion.  Rather than contradict her I just smiled and nodded.

Yes, its going to be a boring summer!

So, here it is, day one.  I got to sleep in, right?  WRONG!  Dickidoo decided it would be fun to wake me up at o'dark hundred when he got up... sick man!  I feigned sleep for a while but finally gave up at 7.  I walked down the hall and was greeted by yesterday's baking mess still scattered around the kitchen and diningroom along with all of the other dirty dishes.  Backpacks overflowing with the remnants of my over-the-budget school supply shopping spree lay scattered from the doorway to the livingroom. 

Yeah, its going to be a GREAT summer!

Thursday, May 19, 2005


No more pencils, No more books.
No more teachers dirty looks.
School is out, summer's begun.
Children swarm to have some fun.

No more students, no more books.
No more parents nasty looks.
Summer's here, the school year's past.
Teachers sigh, they're free at last!

No more peace and no more quiet.
A summer full of in-home riots.
But parents find a little cheer...
Just 3 months till next school year!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


If I were to compare Zack's life to a book, I would choose 'The Little Engine that Could'.  For him school has been an uphill struggle right from the get-go.  He over came a severe speech impediment, he dealt with bullies and an apathetic school that had not yet taken a stand against bullies.  He battled ADD and depression.  And when we were almost sure that he would not make it, he stepped up to the plate and dug his heels in.  Zachary did not graduate with honors, at least not with scholastic and academic honors.  But there is much honor in his graduation and all that he has accomplished in what has been the biggest hurdle in his young life.  He has proven time and time again that even when faced with almost certain failure, it is still possible to succeed. 

Congratulations Zachary.  I am soooo proud of you! 

Monday, May 16, 2005


The school just called me a little while ago.  It seems Zack still has a couple of books out and they will be holding his report card and diploma ransom until the debt is resolved.


Apparently these books were left over from his junior year.  Now wait a minute, I specifically recall going in last summer, before our trip to California, to pay for a missing book and to clear up the mess regarding the other two books which Zack insisted had already been turned in.  Restitution was made a missing book, and the secretary took care of the others after flipping through an index card file.  I was given the report card.  So why is this being brought up again?  I was instructed to go to the office, with any receipts I may have and take it up with them.

Well, I found the checkbook and it clearly stated that the book we had paid for was an Algebra book.  The book that was still missing was an English book and a copy of The Great Gatsby.  Wonderful!  I started tearing through every bookshelf, box, any place a book might be hiding.  To my surprise not only did I find the missing books, but I found 2 other classroom novels, and a second copy of the English text book!  Anyhow, as I was getting ready to take the books to the school, the woman from the admin office called to inform me that my son had been cleared of all missing book charges and would be receiving his diploma when he walked the stage instead of getting an empty folder as originally threatened.  I had to laugh, and I thanked her but told her that I had found the books and would be dropping them off shortly along with a few extras.  I wonder if the school will give me credit for the books they didn't know they were missing?  I've still got 3 more kids to get through high school and I'm sure there will be more missing text books in the years to come.

Saturday, May 14, 2005


I took the kids to the zoo today and came away with some nice pictures, but these 3 are my favorites.  Yes, that is a prairie dog trying to pull a feather off of the peacock.  He successfully plucked 2 feathers while I was there and ate them!  It was actually helpful to me because it caused the peacock to spread his tail feathers to keep them out of the prairie dog's reach, thus giving me a wonderful photo op.

No, its not what you think, its a sleeping hippo's eye!

'Here, picture THIS, stupid human!'

Thursday, May 12, 2005


Our trampoline was a yard sale bargain.  We figured for ten bucks we'd get a little fun for the summer.  That was over 3 years ago and the kids are still bouncing strong.  Even without an enclosure we have only had one accident which resulted in a skinned cheek.  Some people I know who have an enclosure have so far suffered 2 broken bones and several abrasions.  I think some people let their guard down when they have an enclosure.  We're extra careful because we don't have one.


I lose a lot of time in the back yard during trampoline season.  One of the strict rules we have is that an adult must be present at all times.  Needless to say nothing gets done in the house during daylight hours in the summer.  Do you really think that I mind?  Hahahaha!  Nope, not at all!

Kids can't get shaken baby syndrome from jumping on the trampoline can they?  My kids spend so much time on that darn thing that their brains have got to be rattling around in there.  Hmmmmm, that just might be why they are the way they are!  I don't go on the trampoline.  Dickidoo did once and the kids teased him unrelentingly because they said the trampoline touched the ground while he was jumping.  I find its easier to laugh with them than to become another victim of their laughter.  Besides I wouldn't want to shake up my goods!  I'd probably knock myself out with my boobs once they start bouncing up and down with the momentum.  Gravity is never kind to ladies of my physique.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

GOOD JOB! (please pass the Depends)

Feeling:  Majorly frustrated!

Years ago, when my children were little and in the process of potty training, I would look into their little chair and congratulate them for a 'good job'.  There would be high-fives and happy dances.  It was an accomplishment and I made it clear that I was proud of them for it.

Now, years later, I ponder how to make my children understand that it is no longer necessary to show me their latrinal accomplishments.  I am no longer impressed by the sight.  In fact I'd be happy NOT to see any floaters in the toilet.  I'd be giving high-fives and doing the happy dance if I were to walk into the bathroom and NOT be greeted by the sight of a well aged batch of pee punch.  Now that they are potty trained, how do I get them to FLUSH?!

Last night I found enough toilet paper in the toilet to wipe the butts of a small army.  I guess someone thought that concealing the floater was as good as flushing, thus leaving me with the dilemma, should I flush the mess risking blockage and overflow, or do I scoop it?  Ugh!  That was a no brainer, I pulled the handle.  Fortunately it all went down in one flush.

Obviously my offspring do not appreciate the convenience of modern indoor plumbing.  Perhaps I need to dig a hole in the back and let them use that for a spell, through wind, rain, snow and scorching heat when the smell just hangs so thick you can't stand it but you're afraid to breath through your mouth incase you might taste it.  Maybe then they will appreciate what they have and take better care of it.

Or maybe they just need to go back to diapers!  I'm sure there are some Depends in their sizes.  And I can keep a jar of lollipops handy for a 'good job' after we high-five and do the happy dance.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


Today is my son Zack's last day of school.  He graduates on the 16th of May.  It was close, real close, but he pulled it off and will be walking across the stage with the rest of his class to receive his diploma.  He has aspirations to become an accountant, but he's a gifted artist and I hope he will continue his training in that area as well.  He's so intelligent that he can do anything he wants to, the trick is to find something he wants to do.  He has inherited the best from his parents, but he has also inherited our worst.  He is talented but a slob, he is intelligent but lazy.  (I think that pretty much qualifies him as a certifiable genius.)  He's perfectly perfect in my eyes! 

Way to go Zack, we are soooooo proud of you!  Now go out there and do something really spectacular so you can become rich and famous enough to buy your mama a new dishwasher (since mine has better things to do now that he's graduating!)


My computer was loading like molasses this morning, 10 minutes had passed and it had still not completely loaded.  This was not the first time and I knew that any commands I might try to execute would only slow the process down more, assuming of course that there is a speed slower than 'stop'.  I'm the human here, I can play the waiting game.  I got up and went to refresh my cup of coffee.  When I returned I found my daughter in my chair infront of the computer, banging on the keyboard. 

'Don't touch the keyboard!' I warned but it was too late.

'Its frozen' she diagnosed with a smile that reflected the pride she felt for knowing what the problem was.  Unfortunately her diagnostic tests just added 50 more actions to the long list of commands waiting to be executed by the great black sloth. The only thing I could do at this point now was to shut down and restart.  Grrrrrrrreat, that should take another 20 minutes!

It does, and all the while the Wizard of Odds is against me.  He stands in a little room behind my monitor, flashing up little windows that read 'run error' and '.dll failed'.  I could almost hear his manical laugh.  'If you shut down now you will lose any unsaved information' he warned repeatedly across my screen.  I just click the [end now] box.

So how did I come to this, a failure in .dll 101?  I didn't do anything different, I hadn't deleted any files.  I pushed the same button, the one that said [POWER], but some days, after many days of smooth computing, just out of the blue, almost randomly, POOF!  Runtime error!  All it takes is one byte to load in the wrong order, or to miss completely, and the whole system becomes unstable.  And there is nothing I can do from this side of the keyboard to fix it.  There is no 'As Seen On TV' miracle button or key to hit that will magically cause the computer to suddenly correct and load properly.  Trust me, I've tried every button and every key, and I've tried hitting everything from every angle imaginable with the same results... Nada!  Not a thing! 

Perhaps my computer has a re-occuring virus from a byte of some sort.  Perhaps something somewhere got deleted or misplaced.  Or, more likely, perhaps this is just too much technology for someone as techno-illerate as me.  But thats okay, I can work around it.  After 30 minutes I was able to restart my computer without incident.  I passed the test, all of my .dlls have loaded.  I am back in business, hmmmm.... I wonder what can I unintentionally delete this time?

Monday, May 9, 2005


After a wonderful home cooked Mother's Day brunch the family took a drive up to the mountains.  We ended up at the spot where we scattered Steve's father's ashes many years ago.  Before he passed away, Ron, who loved the mountains but had been unable to visit them due to his deteriorating health, asked to have his ashes scattered up among the trees.  After he was cremated we drove aimlessly looking for the perfect spot to scatter his ashes.  We drove for what felt like hours with heavy hearts until Steve spotted two large birds circling the top of a hill.  He pointed the truck in their direction and we ended up here.  The two eagles circled the peak of the hill as if beckoning us.  Steve and Gabe hiked up with the ashes and after saying a few words spoken from the heart, they scattered the ashes into the four winds.  When they returned from the hill, the eagles disappeared into the heights of the sky.  This place has remained special to us for we know that Ron is now a part of it.

And I was riding on the clouds of joy all day.  I couldn't help it, every time my mind would clear I would remember little Zachary.  Oh how I wish I could see him and hold him.  Patience is not a virtue I possess but I guess I must wait.  In the mean time I enjoyed all of the hugs and kisses I received from my children at my side.  Yes, this was definitely the best Mother's Day ever!

Thank you so much to all who have shared in my ordeal with 'Grannyhood'.  I am sooooo happy and its been a blast being able to share my feelings with you.  I only hope I get the opportunity to spoil little Zachary, and teach his some of his daddy's rotten habits. 

Sunday, May 8, 2005


This has been probably the most wonderful Mother's Day in my life.  My 4 children at home, with help from their father, prepared breakfast for me, and after eating we sat around the table talking about old times.  Memories were just flowing, wonderful memories about wonderful times.  Looking around the table I know how fortunate I am to be the mother of these characters.

I am a grandmother!  I spoke to Gabe at around midnight and he told me that his ex-girl friend gave birth to little Zachary on the 4th of December.  Needless to say Gabe will not be coming home in June as planned but will be going to see his son instead.  I am soooooo happy that my worst fears proved wrong.  I don't know what happens next, where they will go from here as far as their relationship goes.  I just hope that Kayle will allow us to remain in Zachary's life now that we know about him. 

To Kayle, I wish you an extra special Mother's Day.  Thank you for filling the hole in my heart and healing the pain.  Gabriel, Zachary, Arthur, Rebecca and Rachel, you are my  joy and the very purpose of my life, thank you.  I love you all more than words could ever say.  I am so proud to be your mother. 

Agh!  This is sooo mushy I can barely stand it, but I'm on the top of the world right now.  I feel like Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music, standing in the meadow on top of the mountain, spinning around with my hands in the air and singing with pure exuberance.  I am a grandmother, and I have a grandbaby named Zachary! 

Saturday, May 7, 2005


My relationship with my mother has evolved over the years.  As a child she was my hero.  She could take meager leftovers and somehow turn them into a meal fit for a king.  She was a Stay At Home Mom and didn't drive a car, but that didn't slow her down.  Even when my dad was out to sea with the Navy she would pack a lunch and take us walking, or load us on a bus and go on an adventure.  I remember that she had the most beautiful singing voice and even as I got older I was never too old to listen to her singing lullabyes.

As I entered my teens she was the cool mom on the block.  All of my friends and neighbor kids called her 'mom'.  And she was awesome!  She was active in the PTA and Scouts, even long after we left those organization, but she was never too busy for us.  Family was very important to her.  By that time I guess all of her teenage children were starting to rub off on her because she began to swear.  But she could never just come out and swear... she would lower her voice to a whisper and spell the cuss word out.  She was getting extra money babysitting loved to spend it on us kids.  I remember she used to always buy me those cute little matching bra and panty sets from Payless.

When I graduated from high school I was unsure what I wanted from my future but she never pushed or rushed me.  When I finally landed my dream job in town, she would get up early and pack my lunch for me.  And it wasn't just a sandwich and drink stuffed in a sack.  She knew what my favorites were and she always put so much love into something as simple as a lunch.  There would be mustard on my bologna with sliced pickles, or pastrami on rye with swiss cheese.  The lettuce and tomato would always be packed in a baggie so they wouldn't make the rest of the sandwich soggy.  When I got home after work there was always some kind of tantalizing meal ready to be served.  Her kitchen never closed and we spent countless hours at the kitchen table in the wee hours of the morning just talking.

Now she is the grandmother to my own children and she hasn't lost her magic.  My children adore her.  When she visits my house is filled with the aroma of her wonderful cooking round the clock.  Two years ago we attended a Family Reunion in Hawaii with all of my sisters, my brother, neices and nephews in attendance.  And it was like old times, sittingaround the kitchen table until the wee hours of the morning, laughing as we shared old beloved memories, with Mama chiming in from the kitchen where she was preparing some wonderful dish that she had whipped out of thin air.

I have always said that my mother is the wisest woman I know.  She did not go to college, she doesn't talk politics or World issues.  She talks about matters of the heart.  Her classroom has been her life and the world around her.  She majored in Compassion and Common Sence.  She still has a beautiful voice, she still spells out her cuss words, and she still buys me panties and bras.  She is still the wisest woman I know and the best mother I could ever hope to have or ever hope to be.

I believe I was 17 when I wrote this poem for my mom:

          I want to be a singer, Mom
          A star with a guitar.
          I want to be a poet,
          And travel near and far.
          I want to be an artist
          And a picture taker too.
          But most of all I want to be
          A Mother just like YOU!

Happy Mother's Day Mama, and to all of the mothers out there.

Friday, May 6, 2005


Gabe should have graduated from Air Assault School today, well, yesterday since its after midnight now.  And he would have been promoted to E-2 immediately afterwards.  Of course I don't know for sure because I'm just his mother, whom he didn't call today!  (hint hint nativehopi). 

I spent the entire day out of the house today.  Rocky had the day off from school so we went to the Zoo.  That is always fun.  Unfortunately like so many other days recently it was also damp.  Rain is good though.  It quenches the earth, fills the reservoirs and drowns the pollen.  I really didn't start showing any allergy symptoms until maybe a hour ago so I guess the rain must have stopped.

Zack has one more final on Monday and then his high school sentence is over!  He worked so hard these past few weeks to make sure he had enough credits to graduate.  I don't know who's more excited, him or his daddy.  Me, I'm just mostly proud... and happy that its over!  I've got 3 more kids to get through school, wish me luck because after what I went through with Gabe and Zack I know I'm going to need all the luck I can get.

Wednesday, May 4, 2005


summer vacation!

15 more days until my vacation is over and Summer Vacation begins for the kids.  I am not ready!  I can only imagine what the grocery bill will look like through the summer months!  And the toilet paper usage.  No doubt I will have to stock up on my dwindling supply of Excederine cus goodness knows I'm going to need it in the months ahead!

Is it just me, or are the teachers just a little bit peppier?  Well, DUH!  They're about to go on vacation as well!  They've put up with the school kids for 9 1/2 months and they finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Ironically the school year is about the same length of time of a full term pregnacy.  Figuratively speaking they HAVE carried our babies for the past 9 months, and now they are getting ready to deliver them back to our loving arms, and then they are going to hit the road running!  Can't say I blame them.  I do the same when school starts up in the fall.

Dickidoo got the names mixed up when he ordered Zack's graduation supplies.  He wrote in Art's middle name instead of Zack's so all of the name cards and return address labels are incorrect.  He's embarassed, which means I just MUST mention it at least 10 times a day.  Oh not to worry, I say, we'll just scratch out Zack's first name, write in Art's and reuse them when Art graduates!  I tease a lot but I am constantly calling the kids by the wrong name myself.  In a few years, if any of them are still living at home, I'll probably have to resort to using name tags, and writing their names on placecards like they do at school.  Occasionally, when one of the kids correct me and I'm already in a bad mood I'll scold them for interrupting and remind them that I am the mother, I named them and therefore, if I say another name by accident, then by golly, that is their name for the rest of the conversation and there will be no further discussion on the matter!

My allergies symptoms are lightening up immensely, quite possibly because I have finally run out of mucous and tears.  My eyes still itch in the corners, but they don't water up as bad.  I still wake up sneezing, but now its only about 5 times in succession versus the previous 10 times.  I see that as an improvement.  People no longer peer at my face and ask whats wrong with me, so I must be looking a little better as well, or maybe they've just gotten used to me looking like Jabba the Hut.  What ever the case, I feel so much better.

 We splurged and went to see the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy this past weekend.  Cute movie, go see it if you're in the need for some light hearted fun.  Its very vague and totally unbelievable, so don't go there expecting to find elaborate sub-plots like Star Wars.  Go with an open mind and you will be entertained.  And eat before you go, or take lots of money!  $5 for a bucket of popcorn, $4 for a cup of ice wetted by a little soda pop, $3 for a box of candy... and they didn't even have Twizzlers!  Whats up with that!?  How can you watch a movie without a Twizzler hanging out of your mouth!  What is this world coming to?

Tuesday, May 3, 2005


May I introduce to you, my Significant Other.  This is him as a baby.  He still looks the same although the doctors at the time all insisted that it was just a temporary condition and that he would eventually outgrow it.  (they LIED!)  Fortunately for the kids they've all taken after ME!  Okay, that may not be fortunate, but its definitely the better of two evils.  For as much grief as that man has put me through, he has been my pillar of strength when I faltered.  Sometimes I get so frustrated because I think he doesn't understand or appreciate me, but then he does things like surprising me with the camera of my dreams because he actually did understand some of my dreams.  Of course now I'm spending all my time outside taking pictures and the house is still a mess... that he doesn't understand, but he's been patient so far.  By the way, no, I didn't take this picture, how could I?  I would only have been 2 years old when it was taken.  Actually I was there telling him to 'move this way' and 'hold your head that way'.  This is one of my favorite shots of him, and have used it for an earlier post.

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Significant Others

Monday, May 2, 2005


Yesterday I went to the store and spent $300 on groceries and various household supplies.  Included in my purchases was a 24 roll package of toilet paper.  I knew for a fact that there was an unopened 4-pack in my bathroom, but it never hurts to have extra.  So imagine my surprise when I squat later on in the day and discover that there is no paper in my bathroom.  No 4-pack, no 24-pack, nothing!  And even later still, I ducked into the upstairs bathroom, the largest bathroom with the huge closet where we store all of our supplies.  Upon discovering that there was no paper on the holder, I duck-walked to the cupboard and lo and behold, it was bare!  Once again I was forced to pick the scraps off of the discarded rolls.  What are these kids doing with all the toilet paper?  I'm serious, its not like they use it!  Goodness knows I've seen enough pee-punch sans the Charmin to know that many visits to the throne are not followed up by a swipe of sqeezably soft quilted squares.  I think I'm going to have to take drastic measures and start rationing, everyone will get their own roll, and if they use it up before its time for distribution of the next roll then they'll just have to do the duck-walk and hunt for scraps like I do everytime I need to use the restroom.

p.s.  The 24 pack of toilet paper was located in the kitchen, which is where everyone should store their toilet paper!  The family photo was taken at a luau in Hawaii in 2003 during my family reunion.  There were 37 of us in the immediate family, now THAT was a lot of toilet paper that we went through then!


*  Aren't you glad that your nose doesn't grow in the same proportions as your legs do over the course of your life?

*  Don't you wish hips and necks would stop growing after the age of 20?

*  Aren't you glad that nose hair doesn't grow as fast as some of the  hair on your head? [click 'X' here]

*  Don't you wish you could choose the exact location you would like to go hairless as age progresses? I would rather go hairless in my nose, ear, legs and pits rather than on my head. 

*  Aren't you glad food doesn't smell as bad before you eat it as it does after you eat it.

*  Don't you wish eating sweet foods would neutralize post-digestive odors?

*  Aren't you glad some smells, such as intestinal gases, don't have a taste.

*  Don't you wish some smells, such as mountain air after it rains... did?