Wednesday, May 11, 2005

GOOD JOB! (please pass the Depends)

Feeling:  Majorly frustrated!

Years ago, when my children were little and in the process of potty training, I would look into their little chair and congratulate them for a 'good job'.  There would be high-fives and happy dances.  It was an accomplishment and I made it clear that I was proud of them for it.

Now, years later, I ponder how to make my children understand that it is no longer necessary to show me their latrinal accomplishments.  I am no longer impressed by the sight.  In fact I'd be happy NOT to see any floaters in the toilet.  I'd be giving high-fives and doing the happy dance if I were to walk into the bathroom and NOT be greeted by the sight of a well aged batch of pee punch.  Now that they are potty trained, how do I get them to FLUSH?!

Last night I found enough toilet paper in the toilet to wipe the butts of a small army.  I guess someone thought that concealing the floater was as good as flushing, thus leaving me with the dilemma, should I flush the mess risking blockage and overflow, or do I scoop it?  Ugh!  That was a no brainer, I pulled the handle.  Fortunately it all went down in one flush.

Obviously my offspring do not appreciate the convenience of modern indoor plumbing.  Perhaps I need to dig a hole in the back and let them use that for a spell, through wind, rain, snow and scorching heat when the smell just hangs so thick you can't stand it but you're afraid to breath through your mouth incase you might taste it.  Maybe then they will appreciate what they have and take better care of it.

Or maybe they just need to go back to diapers!  I'm sure there are some Depends in their sizes.  And I can keep a jar of lollipops handy for a 'good job' after we high-five and do the happy dance.


foreverwhy said...

few can covey in english with wit and humor. I love they way you write! true verbal paintings and visual dessert with smiles galore!!! once again Thanks
Liz @

mosie1944 said...

Hilarious!  My husband and I enjoyed this entry, and since our granddaughters (7 and 9) visit often, we can relate!

aljes12 said...

LOL!! That is soo funny Dorn, I feel your frustration on that one. I have 3 girls 4, 6 1/2, and 9 and I have had to holler at them about thier bad habits in the bathroom as well (leaving floaters, too much paper even found the whole roll sitting at the bottom of the toilet bowl.) HA! - Jessica

swmpgrly said...

Too funny! My youngest had the opposite problem,never enough wiping always stained his

jen73169 said...

LOL!!! What mom can't relate to that??

gotomaria said...

Too Funny!  But I guess I'm lucky....I've got my own bathroom...Yay...(I have, on occassion, forgotten to flush, but only because I thought someone was taking a shower or to save water).   My husband uses the guest bathroom...(sorry about that for the guests...) and my daughter when she is home uses the that I fired the Merrymaids (took me forever to actually hire them for once a month but they just didn't cut it) I need to find another way to get those rooms cleaned better...ahhhg.....Oh yes...we absolutely have to keep the lids down or our dog will get into it....yuk!!!!!  By the way...I have some pretty big dust bunnies around here....
Finally,  thanks for the nice comment on my journal.

heathyrxmarie said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! LMAO!  That is GROSS Dorn!

shedrawsanime said...

LOL...really not funny.  I can relate.  Huggggs!

brandyp0509 said...

So gross, so funny and unfortunately so true.  I have one-half of my child population here "trained" or at least housebroken yet they have not grasped that foreign concept of pulling on the little silver handle.  I have tried all means to get them to do it but nope, they just can't.  I guess they feel I need and/or deserve the pleasure of still having to dispose of their waste products, lol.  Ya know I don't recall being aflicted with this no flushing syndrome so I shall assume it is a faulty trait frome the hubby's side, lol.  Anyway, you are not alone and neither are your floaters.  Thanks for the laugh, Brandy

debbee2056 said...

You are hilarious!  I had to check your journal out!  Funny you should mention the potty....I have four grown kids and they still call me the poop watcher!  I feel very fortunate to see a floater so I can advise them of their dietary FIBER needs!!!  You are too cool!!  Deb