Wednesday, November 30, 2005

SOUTH PARK DORN

Look, its South Park Dorn.  Make your own South Park character by clicking here South Park (thanks to J. Scalzi for the fun link).  No, I don't care for the show, but this link is really pretty cool, and its a pretty good likeness if I do say so myself.

Only 25 more days until Christmas.  Have you gotten your favorite Dust Bunny Diva a present yet?  Besides Dust Bunnies, I also collect Coca Cola and Corona graphics, and sparkly, flashy .gifs.  And MONEY!    (notice how I mentioned that I collect money, but said nothing about saving money)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

GOT COOKIES?

Hmmm, it seems those ads at the top of the journals have been trying to send cookies out to the readers.  Dickidoo was reading this journal when he got a cookie alert from one of the advertisers.  He was not pleased.  I guess that was partly my fault.  When I changed my 'About Me' text recently, I included the line 'visitors welcomed, bring cookies'.   Needless to say I've changed it to read 'Visitors welcomed, bring chocolate'.  

Do you hear that AOL?  Tell those advertisers of yours that my readers don't want their cookies, so they should send chocolate instead.  Not cookies but CHOCOLATE, got it?  I'm not too picky but Belgian or Swiss would be nice.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

BLUE BOOK VALUE FOR DUST BUNNIES....


My blog is worth $51,373.14.

How much is your blog worth?

Just for gits and shiggles I ran the report and the Dust Bunny Club is currently worth $51,373.14 .  Plus I'm getting close to my 40,000 hit mark.  No wonder AOL wants to advertise here, the Dust Bunny Club is prime real estate!   I ought to send them a bill for the privlege of advertising on my blog, maybe $14.95 for 10 hours of advertising time  a month, or $25.00 for unlimited advertising time. 

I wonder if I can use my journal as collateral for a loan.  Knowing my luck, some suit from the IRS will read this and increase my property tax because of my blog's value.  Yep, everybody wants a piece of the pie!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

MENSTRAL MYTHOLOGY 1O1 (for men)

Over the years I have noticed that there are a lot of misconceptions about the female menstral cycle that I would like to clear up now.

* A woman cannot cycle at will.  She cannot not 'start' just to spite you, although she may take advantage of the timing on occasion.

* For the average woman her cycles starts around the same time each month and lasts for approximately the same duration of time.  Think of it as football season, and one week out of the month are by games... every month, every year.

* Anger is not a guaranteed indication that a woman is on her cycle.   It is always possible that she is upset because you have done something ignorant or insensitive.  Suggesting that she might be on her period based on her angry disposition , however, will probably only serve to escalate the situation.  Even if she IS on her cycle, it is not advised that you mention it.

* Except in extremely rare cases, a woman will not bleed to death during her cycle, so you may as well get up from your couch-vigil, cancel the increase on her life insurance policy, cancel your trial membership to the Happy Widowers Club and get used to it.

* Be careful what you wish for.  Menstral cycles are replaced by menopaus, but thats a whole different subject.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

THE SOUNDS OF AN OOMPA LOOMAP THANKSGIVING

* Hey, Becca is giving a dead turkey a massage! (Rocky watching her older sister preparing the bird)

* I'm peeling the biggest potatoes so I can have a LOT of mashed potatoes!  (Art during spud duty)

* I guess it tastes okay, if you like the taste of that stuff the dentist puts in your mouth. (Rocky, upon taste testing her cranberry salad)

* Son of a dookie! (Dorn when she knocked the pot of burnt giblets onto the floor)

* Quarter! (Rocky, upon hearing Dorn after she dumped the giblets onto the floor)

* Watch over our son and brother, and all of our troops in harms way, and bring them home safe.  (Steve during grace.  A place was set at the table for Gabe although he was thousands of miles away).

* The turkey is the best part of the meal, and yet I'm eatting everything but turkey!  (Becca, trying to decide her favorite dish).

* You're like this bottle, everything above the neck is just air! (Art teasing Becca about her dark-blondness).

* I'm exploring why God made my mouth so big!  (Zack after being scolded for stuffing a huge amount of turkey into his mouth).

* WOO HOO!  (Dorn and Dickidoo after Broncos kick winning field goal during overtime against Dallas Cowboys).

A VERY OOMPA THANKSGIVING

My Thanksgiving day has already had a great start.  Gabe was online earlier so Dickidoo and I got a chance to talk with him.  He had a nice meal with all the trimmings.  The highlight for him was fresh pecan pie, washed down with Dr. Pepper.  How I wish we could have shared that meal with him.

He says he's 'over it', but I don't think one ever really gets 'over it', they just do what they have to do to move on.  The tragic loss of a friend is hard to get over, but it is vital that he move on, for his own safety and sanity.  He has grown up so much in such a short period of time.  All of the warriors have.  I am thankful that they have each other to depend on, for protection in times of danger, for strength in times of weakness, and for friendship in times of loneliness.

The Oompas are cooking today.  Rocky has already made the fresh cranberry salad.  It was from a recipe shared by one of my customers, and it is absolutely lucious!  It might not make it to the dinner table.  The others will do the turkey, the dressing, the fresh mashed potatoes, the giblet gravy, and the angel biscuits.  I want them to experience the entire scope of the tradition.

To include the washing of the Thanksgiving dinner dishes afterwards!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  Thank you for allowing me to share my life with you.  Thank you for sharing yours with me.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

MY DREAM LAUNDRY ROOM

There is a new washer and dryer on the market and I want one!  Its the LADS (Laundry Advanced System), the military's new field laundry system.  This miracle machine can wash AND dry the laundry of 500 soldiers in 20 hours, using only 400 gallons of water!  I wonder if it has a 'kids' cycle, where you could throw in a bunch of Oompa Loompas with dirty clothes on and an hour later they come out all washed, bathed and dried.  Oh the potential of such a machine. 

I WANT ONE !

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

SAD NEWS FROM THE LAND OF THE SAND AND SUN...

Late last night, just as I was preparing to sign off, an email popped into my mailbox from Gabe.  I was so happy to see it being as it had been over a week since I had last heard from him.  But my joy was very short lived.  One of Gabe's friends had been killed a few days earlier.

I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt reading that email.  I read it over and over, hoping that I had misread it during the previous times, but the words remained the same.  Yes, Gabe was there at the time.  Yes, he is fine, and safe, or at least as fine as a young man can be after experiencing the tragic death of a very close friend, and as safe as one can be in that region of the world.  I tried to write back to Gabe with words of condolences, of shared grief, words of comfort, but I couldn't think of any.  The thoughts that kept popping into my head were more along the lines of 'Oh my God, that could have been Gabe, Thank God it wasn't!' 

I sent an email back to Gabe as soon as I found the ability to type, and miraculously the phone rang almost immediately after.  It was Gabe.  The relief was instantaneous.  He sounded so different, and so sad.  I just wanted to take him in my arms like I used to do when he was little, back when a hug and a kiss would make the hurt go away.  It would not work this time, and I knew it.

He says he is fine.  He asked us not to worry.  I promised no such thing.  He promised to be careful.  Steve asked him what he wanted us to send him.  He said lots of food and ... ravioli?  Hahaha!  Thats my boy!

Monday, November 21, 2005

MY NEW TITLE SAYS IT ALL...

It has been a week since AOL unveiled its dastardly plan to turn Hometown AOL into a big Spamorama.  In an effort to keep up with the other generic ISP portals, AOL has sacrificed members services and satisfaction for advertising $$$.  Mine, and every AOL journal and homepage now sports flashy ads tempting the readers with home loans, 2 for 1 sub sandwiches, and yes, even AOL 9.0 (spam edition!)  Good golly, if you're going to force ads on peoples' personal blogs you could at least put on ads that have something in common with the blog.  For instance, if BOA was to pull my credit report they'd probably pull their ad off my journal before it even finished loading.  And AOL... well, I hear that lately their members-relations has about as much people skills as a potato peeler.  I think I'll pass on that for the time being as well.  Now if you really want a clickable ad for my journal that will have my readers coming back for more, try getting Charmin to sponsor the space.  After all, I am one of their biggest investors!  Or beer!  Heck, I'll even contact Corona myself!

You may have noticed that my title has grown a little since last week.  I've added a disclaimer to the end to insure that my readers know and understand with all clarity that I had absolutely nothing to do with the placement of the ads on the tops of my journals.  Nor do I approve of them, and the disclaimer will remain there, to be viewed in every entry along with the ads until AOL either removes the ads all together, or offers an acceptable compromise.

And thats all I have to say about that!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

SIBLING RIVALY

Rocky:  I hope you get diarrhea.

Becca:  I hope you never get sick so you don't ever get to miss any tests at school!

Rocky:  I hope Jacob comes back and has a new girlfriend.

Becca:  I hope you NEVER have a boyfriend!

(Please Mom, say we were never that bad!)

Friday, November 11, 2005

FUNY FONE KALL FROM IRAQ

I just got off the phone with Gabe.  I'm still laughing.  I was telling him that my friend and her beautiful Army Reserve daughter were planning on sending him a letter, and how the daughter was going to spray it with perfume.  Gabe was excited about that part because he really likes the daughter.

"And then they would address it 'From Bubbah', so if the guys in the mailroom start laughing and pointed to you, you'll know why." I warned.

"Oh no, that would not be good," he said, "Tell them not to do that, that would be bad." He was silent for a second, then said:  "Tell them if they send me a perfumed letter and put Bubbah as the sender, I will send them a pair of my underwear.  And I would make sure I wore it for a week before I sent it so it would be all smelly and dirty!  And I would sign it 'From Gabe'."

Hahahahaha!  I wonder if I should warn them?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY

When I was a little girl I thought my dad was the most handsome man in the whole wide world.  Looking at his old pictures I still believe he was.  He was in the Navy and spent most of his time on submarines or sub tenders.  I loved when he wore his uniforms, especially his dress whites.  I still think of him every time I smell Old Spice aftershave.  I am privileged to have a wonderful ongoing relationship with my father.  In fact he is one of my loyal Dust Bunny readers.

Happy Birthday Dad.

Happy Veterans Day.

ON VETERAN'S DAY


Memorial Park, Colorado Springs, CO

A Pittance Of Time (click on title for video)
Written by Terry Kelly © Jefter Publishing - SOCAN

They fought and some died for their homeland.
They fought and some died, now it's our land.
Look at his little child; there's no fear in her eyes.
Could he not show respect for other dads who have died?

Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who went over.
In peace may they rest, may we never
forget why they died.
It's a pittance of time.

God forgive me for wanting to strike him.
Give me strength so as not to be like him.
My heart pounds in my breast, fingers pressed to my lips,
My throat wants to bawl out, my tongue barely resists.

But two minutes I will bide.
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who went over.
In peace may they rest.
May we never forget why they died.
It's a pittance of time.

Read the letters and poems of the heroes at home.
They have casualties, battles, and fears of their own.
There's a price to be paid if you go, if you stay.
Freedom's fought for and won in numerous ways.

Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls all over.
May we never forget, our young become vets.
At the end of the line,
It's a pittance of time.

It takes courage to fight in your own war.
It takes courage to fight someone else's war.
Our peacekeepers tell of their own living hell.
They bring hope to foreign lands that hate mongers can't kill.

Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who go over.
In peacetime our best still don battle dress
And lay their lives on the line.
It's a pittance of time

In peace may they rest,
Lest we forget why they died.
Take a pittance of time.

(Click here if link in title doesn't work)

DEAR IRS...

IOU

Okay, there, are you happy?  I've already given the country my first born son, what more do you want?  Actually I offered my second and third born sons as well as both daughters but our tax preparer just laughed at the time.  I don't think he took the offer seriously back then and gave us the bill instead. 

So here it is, almost 2006 and we're still paying back taxes for 2004.  I am trying to comprehend why I am having to work and earn an income (which is also taxable) so that I can afford to pay taxes on my past income.  I think its about time for another tea party.

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

THE FUTURE MRS. JUAN VALDEZ?

My eyelids are sitting in my lap.  I don't have enough strength to lift them.  My thoughts are a blurred mess.  I can barely type.  Life is in slow motion.  I sniff the air deperately for 'the best part of waking up', but all I smell is last night's supper and dirty socks.  My cup is empty.  My coffee pot is bone dry.  I followed Dickidoo around this morning like a pathetic puppy, with an empty coffee can in my shaking hands.  He said to 'sniff it'.  Hahaha!  Very funny Buster!  Besides, I sniffed all of the lingering aroma out of it yesterday.  He left the house laughing.  Wrong answer! That does it, I'm eloping with Juan Valdez!

Update:  My marriage has been saved.  Dickidoo has wired me some $ for coffee.  I'm off to the store for some Folgers.

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

I LIKE TO SNEEZE

(Dust Bunny Revelations)

A sneeze is like a little mini orgasm of the nose.  But a wet sneeze is just a hand full of snot!

PRE-EULOGY, prolonging life.

Good bye dear Dickidoo, we knew you well.

Too bad you didn't realize that when your wife says 'We're out of coffee', it wasn't just a casual observation but more of a danger alert at which time the proper course of action would have been to replenish the coffee supply and bring the caffeine level back to normal.  Laughing was NOT the appropriate response.

And when your son, who is the only mens size 9 in the house, blows out his only pair of shoes... a replacement pair should be secured BEFORE disposing of the old pair so as not to disrupt the peaceful flow of the school morning routine.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I believe that everyone can change the course of their own life.  I believe that everyone can take steps and precautions to prolong their life.  For instance, Dickidoo can probably avert an untimely demise if he were to bring home a can of Folgers this evening.  Its that simple!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!

As a child I was a tomboy, so naturally my only brother was my best friend.  George was born a year after me, but was already taller than me from the time from the get go.  We got into so much trouble together all through high school.  I have been bitten by a dog twice in my life.  Both times he was responsible.  The first time I ever cut out of school was with him so we could visit the Arizona Memorial.  I remember how both stood there looking down into the water at the sunken battleship as our tears mixed with the water of Pearl Harbor. 

And he will probably kill me if he ever finds out that I have posted his 'bozo' picture online.  Hehehehehe!  Happy Birthday Little Brother!  Love you!

Monday, November 7, 2005

ZACKY-ZACK IS BUSTED!

Do you remember me mentioning Chili Cheese Fritos in an earlier entry?  I never did find them.  This is why:

Comment Alert:
"Where are my Chili Cheese Fritos, I know they're around here somewhere in all this mess."

Try 'in your sons room in his dresser in plain site?'
Comment from
draklinglow - 11/6/05 2:13 AM

Zack, dude, you are SO BUSTED!  And there better be an Oreo Cookie shake with those fritos when you pay up!

DAY 5 AS A RETAIL CASHIER

My feet are mad at me.  They hurt.  I've been standing on them all day.  My butt misses my sofa.  My eyeballs miss my eyelids.  I am totally pooped!  I'd forgotten how tiring working for a living could be.

Zack had me drop him off at Applebee's on my way back in from lunch this afternoon.  I was his ride in to work, but he would have been 2 hours early so he decided to have lunch there.  He took me out to lunch on Thursday.  We had planned to have dessert afterwards but were too full at the time.  He decided to make up for it today, mostly just to rub it in my face because I had to return to work.  He had an Oreo Cookie Shake, and made sure I knew about.  I stole his name badge and made sure he knew about it also.  I held it for ransom and he couldn't clock in for work until he promised to buy me an Oreo Shake later in the week.  Ah, the power of being a parent!  But he forgave me later when I gave him a Star Wars promo button.  He still owes me a shake.

My house isn't getting any cleaner.  I can see that my 3 days off will be spent washing dishes, laundry, and picking up.  (I can almost hear Dickidoo's eyes rolling in his head when he reads that part!)  I see quite clearly now that my children are not being taught the fine art of 'initiative' at school.  Hey, don't look at me... if its hereditary its not coming from MY side of the family!  The dirty dish fairy is hung over, the dirty laundry fairy ran off with the garden gnome, and the Dust Bunnies have completely taken over the house now that the vacuum has gone MIA.  Calgon, take me away!  Oh wait, that soggy something is still in the tub... Captain Morgan, take me away!

Sunday, November 6, 2005

THE DAY AFTER, and an IM from Gabe.

I guess this is why my counters are covered with dishes.  The Dirty Dish Fairy has been hitting the bottle and is otherwise occupied in activities of a non-domestic nature.  I now know how Dickidoo feels to walk into a messy house at the end of the day, with noisy little Oompas running around in circles crying 'whats for supper?  whats for supper?'  Agh!  I'm a ViVi Recipient!  A little respect would be nice.  And maybe even a little peace and quiet?

Yeah, right!  Like that will ever happen in this house!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NativeHopi [10:17 AM]:  hey you
Stinckerbelle [10:17 AM]: 
hey gabe! NativeHopi [10:17 AM]:  how are you today
Stinckerbelle [10:18 AM]: 
great!
NativeHopi [10:18 AM]: 
thats cool
NativeHopi [10:18 AM]: 
hows school
Stinckerbelle [10:18 AM]: 
mom won best family journal award yesterday
NativeHopi [10:18 AM]: 
oh really?
Stinckerbelle [10:19 AM]: 
yep
NativeHopi [10:20 AM]: 
thats cool as hell
NativeHopi [10:21 AM]: 
what are you up to?
Stinckerbelle [10:21 AM]: 
nuthin
Stinckerbelle [10:21 AM]: 
oh and by the way....quarter
NativeHopi [10:22 AM]: 
lol
NativeHopi [10:23 AM]: 
well hey i gotta go
NativeHopi [10:23 AM]: 
ill talk to ya laters
NativeHopi [10:24 AM]: 
love ya
Stinckerbelle [10:24 AM]: 
ok
NativeHopi [10:24 AM]: 
laters
Stinckerbelle [10:24 AM]: 
love ya
Stinckerbelle [10:24 AM]: 
becca says byesee
NativeHopi signed off at 10:24 AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poor Gabe, he's thousands of miles away and his baby sister is still charging him a quarter for every time he cusses.  Rocky (Stinckerbelle) gave me the entire month of October off but its a new month and once again I have to watch what I say.  I am proud to say that I don't owe her one cent yet.  (what she doesn't hear doesn't count!)

VIVI AWARDS, Best Family Journal

This Dust Bunny is absolutely ecstatic!  I'm still a bit in shock that this journal, MY journal, was chosen by my fellow journalers to be the Best Family Journal.  What were you people thinking!  Over the past few weeks I had been walking on air just to be nominated.  I have read the other blogs I was running against, and they are all wonderful.  How could I, with my Cronic Procrastination Disorder (CPD), and, well, my Disorder Disorder (DD), ever hope to compete with them?  It was an honor just being in the same category as they were.  To come out the winner just blows me away.

To everyone who voted for me, to my readers who tolerate my Jeckyll and Hyde posts, to everyone who made this possible, Thank you!  For those who didn't turn away in disgust by my lifestyle, to everyone who offered their support during my moments of weakness, for those who have encouraged my dreams, thank you so very much.  Then, of course, my Oompa Loompa, the source of my joy, frustration, and the stars of most of my posts... thank you for not being too embarassed to introduce me to your friends.

And finally, to poor Dickidoo who actually has to live with me and who does so with such resigned tolerance, you can pretty much kiss any hopes of ever having a clean and orderly house goodbye.  I'm the new June Cleaver, the next Carol Brady.  Step aside Martha Stewart, here come the Dust Bunnies!

Friday, November 4, 2005

MY INNER DIVA

This morning I woke up thinking that I would pamper myself.  I would paint my nails after a nice long, candle lit bubble bath.  I would curl my long tresses and slip into my silk pajamas.  I could sip English tea and nibble on shortbread.  Perhaps I would lounge infront of the television, watching sappy chick flicks, delicately dabbing the corners of my eyes that always seem to tear up during those kinds of movies.  The children would be in school, my older son should still be sleeping since he works the night shift.  My husband would be at work.  I'd have the house virtually to myself.

Unfortunately, the bathtub is occupied by a clump of soggy something... not quite sure what it is, but I'm not brave enough to touch it.  Guess I'll pass on the bubble bath and take a long, hot, relaxing shower instead.  Hmmmm, the nail polish is as thick as jelly.  And metallic blue is not exactly my color.  Where's my plum wine? There will be no polishing of the nails today.  As for my hair, that will also have to wait.  There are bits and pieces of my rollers in the various toy boxes throughout the house.  By the time I find them all it will be bed time, so nix the curly tresses.  There is still time for tea..., okay, maybe not.  All of the orange pekoe tea is gone, and Japanese green tea just doesn't set the mood, nor does it go with shortbread, which is just as well considering that there are only crumbs in an otherwise empty cookie container.  Besides, there aren't any clean tea cups.  I guess Coke from a can is just as good.

So, its just me and my sweats in front of the TV.  I think I'll just watch 'Kung Fu Hustle' instead.  Where are my Chili Cheese Fritos, I know they're around here somewhere in all this mess. 

Ahh, there's nothing like spoiling my inner Diva.  I should do this more often!

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!

So, now that Halloween is out of the way, whos ready for Thanksgiving?  Now that I am working in retail again (today will be my 3rd day back on the register  ) the holiday is already overshadowed by the Day After sales.  Traditionally the day after is when I celebrate Thanksgiving but I shall be working at 5am that day.  Thats okay though, because I should be off by noon, still lots of time to get a feast on the table afterwards.

Christmas is what I'm really looking forward to.  I love Christmas.  I love shopping for the kids.  I love buying gifts for Dickidoo to stash in the closet or shelves.  I think the rifle is the only past gift he really uses, but thats okay also because now I just buy what I want since I'm the only one who will use his presents.  I think he needs new toe socks this year.  I shall also be shopping for a Grandbaby!  (Hi Little Zachary!)  And I have a son and his Troop there in Iraq to send the Christmas Spirit to.  This will be a good year for me, I can already feel it. 

What I'm most ready for though is 2006!  The faster the New Year gets here, the faster the New Year will pass, and that will get my boy home faster.  That is what I'm really waiting for.  So yeah, 2006... BRING IT ON!

22 Days Until Thanksgiving 

53 Days Until Christmas

60 Days Until 2006

1775 Days Until I Turn 50