Saturday, November 26, 2005

MENSTRAL MYTHOLOGY 1O1 (for men)

Over the years I have noticed that there are a lot of misconceptions about the female menstral cycle that I would like to clear up now.

* A woman cannot cycle at will.  She cannot not 'start' just to spite you, although she may take advantage of the timing on occasion.

* For the average woman her cycles starts around the same time each month and lasts for approximately the same duration of time.  Think of it as football season, and one week out of the month are by games... every month, every year.

* Anger is not a guaranteed indication that a woman is on her cycle.   It is always possible that she is upset because you have done something ignorant or insensitive.  Suggesting that she might be on her period based on her angry disposition , however, will probably only serve to escalate the situation.  Even if she IS on her cycle, it is not advised that you mention it.

* Except in extremely rare cases, a woman will not bleed to death during her cycle, so you may as well get up from your couch-vigil, cancel the increase on her life insurance policy, cancel your trial membership to the Happy Widowers Club and get used to it.

* Be careful what you wish for.  Menstral cycles are replaced by menopaus, but thats a whole different subject.

16 comments:

dhga30047 said...

Now that's funny....  

deshelestraci said...

Thank you!  I shall print out a copy for the DH!
Traci

stephaine35 said...

LOL

I just had the discussion 'why are women crabby when they have their period' conversation with my husband about our daughter.  He was hoping it was her period so there would be a light at the end of the tunnel.  I gently reminded him that she's been crabby for the last two years and seeing as she is only 15, I don't see it changing soon.

sdoscher458 said...

Wait till Menopause it lasts for years...it's every day and about ten times worse than your period...yuck ... Sandi

mutualaide said...

So glad you posted that!  LOL and I needed a good laugh.   You'd think after a whole bunch of years of being married to a woman, the man would know to stay away from the women of the house when they're angry -- it really has nothing to do with menses.  Menopause now.  That I could write a book about!

beckieramos said...

LOL! So true! God bless, Beckie

heathyrxmarie said...

LMAO! I am going to c&p this and send this to a couple guy friends of mine! They definately NEED to read it!
:)
Hugs,
xoxo
Heather

onemoretina said...

   *  ... and if they think this stuff is bad, just wait till the grand finale sets in.  They complain about a few bitchy days a month ?  How about a few YEARS of it.  Along with a wife who is perpetually exhausted, lapses into meloncholy when she hears an old Beach Boys song,  and who only "shivers with anticipation" for a good night's sleep, which doesn't happen often once the hot flashes and night sweats commence.  Sorry guys ... We're just giving it to ya straight, Isn't that right my friend ??   Tina http://journals.aol.com/onemoretina/Ridealongwithme

hestiahomeschool said...

I am now having my Last Period, as I will have the hysterectomy before the next one.  I feel sad about it.

cmarlow330 said...

lololololololololololol

deslily said...

Well that certainly "tells it like it is!!" LOL LOL...

BIG TRUTH ABOUT THAT BEING THE EASY PART!!.. cause they ain't seen nothing yet!! (hmmm, i knew a song that went like that heh)

http://herethereandeverywhere2ndedition.blogspot.com/

http://journals.aol.co.uk/deslily/HereThereEverywhere2/

missvincci said...

Hahaha...too true!!! Especially the 3rd one! Gosh lee can't we get mad just to get mad???

Smiles!
Vincci

www.pt.pinktify.com

princesssaurora said...

he he he...sounds like Dickidoo is joining my hubby in the dog house...

be well,
Dawn

vortexgirl said...

No WOMAN would convict another women for the peroid comment.  They say that, there're just asking for it!
Dianne

jackiebenice said...

haha. your too funny. I loved that, and I am going to show it to my bf, he needs to learn. I love to freak him out with my pms, sometimes i say I am pmsin, just to see him freak out and run lol
take careee

~jackie~

jillannemarie said...

OMG!  Too funny.  I've been visiting journals listed on the Vivi awards page.  I am so glad I kept going, yours was definately worth the visit.  The baby isn't usually sleeping this late, so it was chance that I got here at all.
So well worth the trip.