I didn't have beer and chocolates last night. I did not celebrate. I was sad because the camera repair center called to inform me that my Nikon was irreparable and they would be sending the body back to me for burial. After that news I needed something stronger than beer. I busted into Dickidoo's bottle of Maker's Mark and downed a couple of glasses to drown my sorrows.
It didn't work. The camera is still dead this morning. I feel as if I have lost part of my sight, that my vision has diminished somehow.
Yoo hoo, Dickidoo... SHARE DAMMIT!
Anyhow, while under the influence of Maker's Mark, I decided to experiment with my old wardrobe. Yep, my blouses fit much better. The buttons actually reach the button holes in some. And jeans long discarded with defective zippers that don't close were miraculously fixed and I can wear them again. Yay me!
The next experiment... the Oompas clothes!
I'm a skirt kind of gal so I grabbed a couple of skirts that had accidentally been hung up in my closet. The first one slid on with no problem and I pranced around in it quite happily for the next 5 minutes. Next up was a floral skirt. This one was fitted in the front but gathered in the back. It looked a bit small but hey, it had elastic in the back so I eased it down over my head and around my arms. It fit beautifully and once again I pranced around like a child, until it was time to take the skirt off... and it wouldn't slide back up over my arms.
No biggie, I'll just slip it down over my hips.
Okay, so now I know for a fact that the amazing weight loss that I experienced over the summer did NOT include my big butt. Its still big. Too big in fact to fit through the opening of an elastic waisted skirt. Grrrrr!
It took me about 10 minutes to wiggle out of that dang skirt. It was a slow process that had me easing this side a little then going to the other side and trying to push the outstretched garment over my even more outstretched cheeks. That gave me lots of time to view the whole vision in the full length mirror on the wall in my bathroom.
I have the dark bronzed face, arms and legs of an island girl but the belly, boobs and butt of a white woman. I need to even out my tan. I need to skinny dip!
Hmmmm... I wonder if all my neighbors in the back work during the day? I hope so because its time for a little indecent exposure!