Friday, April 22, 2011


I will be house sitting my house this week.  Weird huh?  Who would have thought in their wildest dreams that one day they would be house sitting their own house?
What can I say, my marriage, to say the least, has been wild.
So I'm house sitting my house (I am on mortgage as the co-owner) and my payment for the week... 1/4 bottle of Absolut vodka.  But it's not a little bottle.  It's a fricken huge bottle that probably holds close to a gallon~ which means that I have been paid about 2 quarts of vodka to babysit my house.
Sounds good to me~

Monday, April 11, 2011

When bad days attack!

After getting up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, I asked myself if things could get any worse~ and they did! (I've got to stop asking myself that!) I got pulled over by a traffic cop going 46 mph in a 30 mph zone, or so he said.  Naturally I didn't believe him, and I kind of told him so~ politely of course.  I handed over my license, registration and proof of insurance, and then waited while he sat in his fancy, brand spanking new unmarked Charger.  20 minutes I sat there, fuming in my car while he sat in his car, probably stalling trying to figure out how to pronounce my last name.  Luckily for both of us, a priority call came through before he could finish writing the summons and he returned my papers with a warning.
"Try driving a little slower in the future, like less than 16 miles over the limit slower." he said, obviously relieved that he didn't have to deal with my name.  I thanked him a million times in my head but only said it out loud twice.
5 hours later I found myself traveling down the same roadway.  5 hours later I had one eye on my speedometer and the other out the window looking for the shiny blue Charger.  And guess what happened?  While cruising down the street, my foot nowhere near the gas pedal, the momentum of the car built and I was speeding down Main Street going 38 without feeling it.  I tapped my breaks and thanked God that Smoky the Bear was nowhere in sight.  I also thanked God that today was one of the rare moments when I held my tongue and did not challenge someone who had accused me of doing wrong, for I was in fact wrong.  Had I challenged the officer he just might have found the time to finish writing out that ticket.
16 mph over the limit at $10 per mile, that's $160 plus the 50 court cost~ this ticket would have cost me $210 plus a couple of points on my license and a rate increase on my insurance.  
Perhaps my day wasn't so bad after all.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Note to self~ don't go to bed on a full stomach!

Last night I dreamed that I was pregnant.  At my age that's not even funny!  And being a Born Again Virgin, that would raise questions that I'm not so sure the rest of the world would be ready to hear and accept the answers for.  Then of course, there would be the issue of having yet another one of my off spring loose on this earth.  Not a good situation all the way around and no matter how you look at it.
But~ should the unthinkable ever happen...
If chosen to be the Born Again Virgin Mother, I promise that all church sermons will be limited to 10 minutes or less, all chapels will have a Crying Baby section, the pews will be cushioned and a fried chicken and biscuit dinner will follow every Sunday Service (to encourage attendance and fellowship of course! not to mention feeding my addiction to the combo.)
I am Dornbrau, Born-Again-Virgin and Dust Bunny President, and I approve this message.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Super Saimin~

I made some saimin (ramen) when I got home, seasoned with dashi (broth), shoyu (soy sauce), sesame oil, hot sauce and black pepper, but Rocky and Boris saw me and intercepted.
Rocky: "Do you know what's missing from these noodles?" (slurp, slurp)
Me:  "Yeah, about half a package!"
Rocky:  "Yeah, but also bean sprouts~"
Me: "And Spam, and egg, and mushrooms!"  
Super Saimin, yep, that's the way uh huh, uh huh, I like it!
I have learned to cook 2 packages at a time, not because I am a pig, but because my kids (and parrot) are pigs, and I would like to have at least a bite or two from the pot myself.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Who, me?

Apparently I snore~
I vehemently deny the accusation but I am out numbered by my many accusers.  Well, perhaps I do... a little, due to my seasonal allergies which have my sinuses so congested that my eyes bulge like a fat Chihuahua.  It's not a pretty sight, believe me, but I don't care.  I don't have to look at me.
Anyhow, I did a little research and it is recommended that I sleep on my side (I'm a tummy and back sleeper), don't take sleep aids (no melatonin?) and no alcohol.
Great, in order for me to stop snoring so everyone else can sleep, I must refrain from the very things that help me sleep?
Awwww, what the heck, sleep is over rated!
I still don't believe them cos I've never actually heard myself snore! I think they're just jealous of how fast I can achieve R.E.M.