I've been back for almost 2 months now and I find myself stagnating in the same rut I was in before. So much is simmering in the background but nothing worth bringing to the table yet. My non-existent patience is being put through a serious test, and I may be failing.
One day this will all make sense.
I'll still be quite daft, but perhaps folks will understand better why.
I hate that people look at me and see a weak person. They don't know how hard it is to be this way. They see a person without ambition but I have stayed the course above all else.
In the meantime I find myself staring at a bottle of rum on a regular basis. That it has lasted this long is a testament to my willpower, feeble as it may be. What matters most is that it is stronger than my patience at this point. That may not always be the case.
One day I will tell my story. I will shout it out to anyone who will listen. I will set the record straight, even if just in the form of an epitaph. The truth will be known.
But not tonight.
Tonight I think my willpower will take a back seat.
5 years ago