Tuesday, February 7, 2006

A BLOG JOG (and the shock of my life!)

Today I was browsing some blogs that I had neglected for a long time and I came across an entry that was written by a young blogger back in December.  In it he writes how he had been hit by a car on the way to a friend's house following the death of his pet.  He didn't think he was hurt too bad and told the driver not to worry, but later his legs and head hurt.  That was in December, and the young blogger recovered fine.  But he never told his parents because he was afraid they would freak out if they found out.

And we did!

I read Art's entry this morning with tears streaming down my face.  Why didn't he tell us?  I remember that night.  I had picked him up from his friend's house.  He said his legs hurt and he had a head ache.  It was a cold snowy night.  I told him to soak in the hot tub and we gave him some Tylenol before he went to bed.  I had no idea what my baby had been through. 

It took every ounce of restraint to keep from driving to the school to bring him home this morning.  The accident had happened almost 2 months ago, he was obviously alright, and yet I wanted to see for myself.  And I wanted to know why he hadn't told us.   Today was one of the longest days of my life.

When Art finally came home, I was very calm as I had him explain the incident.  Then I tried to explain to him why it was so important that he let his father and I know when something like that happens, even if he thinks its no big deal.  You just never know.  I still can't believe that the driver and the witness let him go without trying to contact his parents.

Steve was not so calm.  He didn't have all day to get used to the idea, to reason with his thoughts.  We just sprung it on him when he got in from work.  Needless to say, he reacted the very way Art knew he would, which was why he hadn't told us in the first place.

So here we are at a 3 way stop.  There's the stubborn teenager who has all the wisdom of his young years, trying to make decisions that are beyond him, the protective fatherwho really does know whats best for his son but sometimes has a hard time putting it in to words, and the peacekeeper mother driven by blind loyalty who finds herself jumping in the middle to defend both sides and often comes out the two way loser.

Art greatly under-estimated the severity of the incident.  Steve over-reacted in his accusations after the fact, and I feel like a traitor because for the entire day I anxiously waited for Art to come home so I could give him my little lecture only to fuss when Steve attempted to give a lecture of his own which was not to my liking.  Then I spent the next hour first trying to defend Art's actions to his father, and then defending Steve's words to his son. 

So Art is mad at his dad, Steve is mad at Art and is giving me the cold shoulder.  As for me, I am still in shock because my son was hit by a car in December and I never knew about it until today.  This so easily could have had a worse ending back then on that snowy day and despite the tension in the house tonight, I am thankful, so very thankful that we are all safe and sound within the walls of our home.

How I wish Gabe was safe at home as well.


missheathyrmarie said...

(((((Dorn)))))  I can't imagine, hon.  I'm glad that Art is alright, and I hope that by tomorrow, everyone will seem much happier, and things will be put behind you all.

yankeeatheart79 said...

I am glad he is ok!  Thats very scary.  How did he get hit?

Ok, now some advice for Art....don't put anything on the internet you don't want found.  And next time tell your parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone is calmer tomorrow!


sunnyside46 said...

I am speechless or typeless, oh my , dont you wish you could keep them safe?

demandnlilchit said...

Dads react out of fear, out of what might have happened....so they use anger to cover their fear, us Moms do it too, but we are quickly over our anger and are just relieved that it wasn't the worse case scenerio. I think maybe Art didn;t tell you was because he didn't want his parents worrying over him while is older brother is Iraq facing life changing occurances everyday. You know "Mom and DAD have enough to worry about right now and I shouldn't lay anything else on them right now" They don't know how a parent's heart works, none of our children are replaceable and we are very capable at loving and worrying about each child with the same intesity. I'm sure the boy in him wanted to tell his Mother and be comforted by her, but the Man who is quickly emerging thought it was no big deal. Dorn, I still think I would have his head injury checked out, just because he isnt experiencing anymore pain right now doesn't mean there might not be some lingering effect. I was knocked out with a bat when I was 7, I was in the hospital for a few days, I started experiencing seizures 8 years after that and it was tied to that head injury. Nothing scares the hell out of us more then the things that can happen to our children.

gdireneoe said...

Oh Dorn...hugs hon', hugs upon hugs.  I have been deleting alerts, and it looks like mine are slowly returning.  I have thought about you and Gabe quite a bit.  Hope all is well. ;)  C.  http://journals.aol.com/gdireneoe/thedailies

mumma4evr said...

I cannot believe those adults let him go!!!  Sheesh!!!  I am so glad he is ok!!!!  I remember when we had our accidnet last May and I looked back and saw Jenna laying on hte back seat, my heart stopped!  I was so scared!  Thank God she was ok!!! so, glad Art is ok!!!

sdoscher458 said...

I know what you are feeling. I learned of my son being in a car accident by reading his blog too. He didn't want us to worry! God, that's what we are here for - to worry - I didn't just get all this gray hair, I earned it! I'm glad that Art is okay, but I hope you made it very clear to him that he is not to hide important stuff from you.  My hubby is volitile too, I think men cannot handle emotions well and the fear of losing a child had to get him very upset. Art will understand when he has a child of his own just how much he has upset you and his Dad. Sandi

joyanhope said...

I'm so sorry that happened to your family.  I just read your entry and was also horrified.  What kind of person lets a child walk away from being hit by a vehicle
or an adult, for that matter?  It wasn't exactly a hit and run but there was still a grave responsibility to make certain Art was alright.  Your son is obviously a kind person and assured the driver that he was okay, but that would have never been enough confirmation for me.  I hope the outcome of all of this is a good one and that all is well.  Sincerely, joy

PS:  I love your journal and you are the first one I have ever wanted to get an aol alert from when you write.  And, may God bless your other son whereever he may be.

joyanhope said...

Sorry to bother you again, but I happened to think of an accident I had at a skating rink as a teen.  A small boy clipped my skates accidentally and SPLAT!  I fell right onto my lower back.  In my fifties, I began having severe pain in my lower back_never been in any accident other than that_and after tests the doctors found two shattered discs in my back.  So perhaps you might not want to let this go without some testing.  Best wishes for everybody to be calm and just take a deep breath and do what you need to do.  joy

beckieramos said...

Oh my gosh! I am so happy that he is ok. That's just crazy!
I know how u feel though, about being stuck in the middle .That happens to me at my hiouse also. It will get better though
Praise God that he is doing well.God bless, Beckie

fogspinner said...

*Looks around* Do you live here? Are you in my kitchen or something.... *looking in the closet*.....

That sounds JUST like my house. My son, 10, already knows this leason. Is it a lesson? I know I wish it wasn't something my son had to deal with, as I'm sure you do too. My husband is just as over-reactive. Often for something stupid and small.

tkelliher617 said...

Wow!  Glad to hear Art is alright, someone up there was looking out for him.  He probably did not want to worry you because you are worrying enough about Gabe.  Im glad all is well, even if tempers may be up right now.

Take care

astaryth said...

How scary! Glad that Art's O.K....... But, I would keep an eye on it anyway, sometimes these kinds of injuriescome back to haunt you later.

purplectigger said...

OMG, how scary that must have been. I'm so glad it turned out alright. Hopefully he learned to tell you about things like that, even tho he may think his dad overreacted. That's a parent's job , to over react. Things will work out after the dust settles.
Hugs, R.C.

ambassadorsinte said...

So Dear Dorn, you've finally got your comeuppance.  We're certainly glad that Art wasn't permanently injured, but we recall all too well how things happened to you while you were growing up that you didn't tell Mom and Dad about for years.  You joked about it all the time.  So how does it feel, knowing it's now happened to you?  See what you put your Mom and Dad through?  Give Art a hug from Grandpa and Grandma and try not to be too harsh with him.

sschwingler said...

Oh my goodness!! Thank god all is well!!
Michelle :)

princesssaurora said...

OMG, how scary!  {{{ Jody }}} I would have done everything the same... Poor Art....

Be well,

helmswondermom said...

Two things:
First of all, I'm so glad Art is okay, and I can't imagine how you must have felt!  How in the world did you stay sane all day?  I probably would have picked him up from school!
Second, I think you're describing my family there.  The teenager who is so wise....the father who is right but can't always put it into the right words.....and me, the mother, the peacemaker, trying to explain to each the other's side.  You really hit the nail on the head there, girl!  I knew *exactly* where you were coming from!