Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I've got all kinds of count downs ticking in my head, my 26th Wedding Anniversary, which is also my unofficial 1st Un-Anniversary, or what ever they're calling it, there's my 50th birthday, my LAST cycle (woo hoo), and somewhere down the line in the not so distant future although no definite date has been set, is my divorce.

If someone were to tell me a year ago that I would be writing that opening paragraph I would have laughed, but it's not so funny in the here and now.

What also looms ahead is the steady decline of residents in the house. Zack is still in New York. That is just a temporary thing but I'm not so sure he'll be moving back here when the time comes. Gabe is barely ever here. Art is planning on moving out in the summer, and Becca is making plans to share an apartment with her friend after Graduation. That leaves Rocky.

Oh yeah, and the shit-hound. And of course Henry the homicidal goldfish.

And then what? Now that the shock has worn off I can honestly say that I am actually excited about the new opportunities opening up to me. Do I want to pursue my passion for the culinary arts or take a course in photography? Do I want to learn the skills to present my literary aspirations or dare I follow my dreams and just point my nose forward, going where ever it leads me?

I'm like a kid in a candy store, I want it all!

Realistically all this didn't become available to me because of my divorce and the kids moving out, I was just forced to focused on the fact that there will come a time when everyone is gone and I will be on my own. What will I do with myself then? Fact: there is life after family, and it keeps on evolving with the changing times. Fact: 50 is not too old to enjoy life or learn something new.

Eek! (screech to a halt).

But what about, you know, love... Is it necessary? Not the love of a family, I'm confident that I will always have that. I'm talking the romantic stuff. Do I really need that? I know I thrived on it when I had it, I know I miss it now that I've lost it, but do I need it to enjoy the rest of my life?

Yeah, well, I don't know. Let's just go with 'NO' and see what happens.

But just in case, I'll keep shaving my pits and legs cos you just never know...


Donna said...

Great entry. I love it.

Phyllis said...

You are so right, you can do anything you set your mind to! It's hard when the kids leave (although my youngest keeps coming back!)As for love, I don't have any great words of wisdom other than it come when the time is right. You are such an amazing person and I am so thankful that I have been blessed to have "met"you!

garnett109 said...

in the culinary arts you can just use hair nets

Anonymous said...

LOL you know JO since you are kind of Divorced... You should just go ahead and do like that Reba Mcentire song Little Rock


Cause reading that is just about what I was thinking :)

I know its bad I can relate your writing to a country song but yanno!

--- Christopher

Rjet33 said...

Oh wow, I had no idea. You will be in my prayers. I LOVE your attitude! God Bless.

Kelly Dawn said...

i love you and you are more woman than me - cause i would have already kicked his stupid ass to the curb and outta the master bedroom and if he cant go live with her - Inns and Suites rents by the week - after you pay child support - You are brilliant, wonderful, caring, loving and everything else - I know there are two sides to every story and yours might be just as ugly as his BUT he could do the right thing and head on down the road since he is the one that VOCALIZED his desire for a divorce...

Thinking about ya!!!

Hey by the way I GOT MY CAMERA!!!!


ps sorry kids for dissing on your dad...dont know how many of you read this...crap...but it needed to be said...