COUNT DOWN TO 'ME'

I've got all kinds of count downs ticking in my head, my 26th Wedding Anniversary, which is also my unofficial 1st Un-Anniversary, or what ever they're calling it, there's my 50th birthday, my LAST cycle (woo hoo), and somewhere down the line in the not so distant future although no definite date has been set, is my divorce.

If someone were to tell me a year ago that I would be writing that opening paragraph I would have laughed, but it's not so funny in the here and now.

What also looms ahead is the steady decline of residents in the house. Zack is still in New York. That is just a temporary thing but I'm not so sure he'll be moving back here when the time comes. Gabe is barely ever here. Art is planning on moving out in the summer, and Becca is making plans to share an apartment with her friend after Graduation. That leaves Rocky.

Oh yeah, and the shit-hound. And of course Henry the homicidal goldfish.

And then what? Now that the shock has worn off I can honestly say that I am actually excited about the new opportunities opening up to me. Do I want to pursue my passion for the culinary arts or take a course in photography? Do I want to learn the skills to present my literary aspirations or dare I follow my dreams and just point my nose forward, going where ever it leads me?

I'm like a kid in a candy store, I want it all!

Realistically all this didn't become available to me because of my divorce and the kids moving out, I was just forced to focused on the fact that there will come a time when everyone is gone and I will be on my own. What will I do with myself then? Fact: there is life after family, and it keeps on evolving with the changing times. Fact: 50 is not too old to enjoy life or learn something new.

Eek! (screech to a halt).

But what about, you know, love... Is it necessary? Not the love of a family, I'm confident that I will always have that. I'm talking the romantic stuff. Do I really need that? I know I thrived on it when I had it, I know I miss it now that I've lost it, but do I need it to enjoy the rest of my life?

Yeah, well, I don't know. Let's just go with 'NO' and see what happens.

But just in case, I'll keep shaving my pits and legs cos you just never know...