Saturday, August 1, 2009

It's all good...

Dickidoo and I went to breakfast yesterday... Southside Deli, one of our favorite spots. We discovered it during a trip to court to fight a traffic ticket (it wasn't my fault, honestly Officer!), and now we go there every time the mood for homemade pastrami hash hits us.

It hit us yesterday and we ditched the Oompas for a little 'us' time.

It wasn't a date. We're past that. It wasn't 'making up', we've made up but there's no going back. It wasn't even a truce since we're not at battle. No, it was just two old friends sharing good food, good conversation and good company.

Looking back now I can't believe how close to the edge we came. This bombshell that Dickidoo dropped in my lap... Lord, was it really only 3 weeks ago?... was our wake-up call. Sink or swim, batteries not included. I'm not a strong swimmer, but I can float like a boat and kind of paddle myself in the general direction I want to go. It may take a while but I'll get there eventually. In the mean time I'm enjoying the cruise.

One day, some day, I may see this for the blessing that it is. For now I'll just say that it's better this way. Am I happy? No, but I am happier, which I had come to believe in recent years would never be possible again so yeah, this is definitely better. I love him, but do I love him enough to fight for him, for us? Yes, but I won't because love cannot be won. It must be given. I love him enough to let him go. That is my good deed for the day. Where's my stinkin' lollipop?

So, what is the point of this rambling post? I want to convince my family and friends... and maybe myself, that this is a good thing. I want to convince Dickidoo that I'm okay, that I will get through this, and that he doesn't have to worry about becoming the next episode of 'Snapped'. (I wasn't kidding about the genie and the bullfrogs though, that wish stands!)

Most of all I want folks to let it go. There is no good guy or bad guy, just 4 aching hearts in search of love. If at least one person can walk away from this happy... truly happy, then it will have been worth it (at least for that one person.) For now I'm content with walking away with my head held high. Happy will come later. But it will come.

And Rocky, my dear, no... this does not mean that the divorce is cancelled. I'm sorry but perhaps you will understand in time.

For everyone who came to support me, thank you. I appreciate it. For those who are giving me the gift of time by not calling, I apologize and thank you for understanding. For those who are worried, don't be. You have all been a huge helping hand that got me back up on my feet again, and I'm seeing clearly now that this isn't such a bad place to be after all.

It's all good!

8 comments:

Fogspinner said...

Smooches and hugs for you all. I wish I had the dignity you do.
Just know I'm here and listening when you need to talk/type and can hopefully offer a kind shoulder.

And you know, the gun is loaded. ;-)

garnett109 said...

you are a strong person

Kathy said...

Ah Jodi, this isn't about me, but let me just relate ... that just over five years ago, a similar event happened here at my house.

We continue to live here, in harmony, more now than ever before, but like you, I realized love cannot be won and so I let him go. We are roomates and friends and that is what is working for us.

You are a wise woman who knows herself well and from where I'm sitting, I can see that the bumps in the road to real peace and happiness may still come, but you will come out okay in the end.

Strange how happier happens when the problem becomes clear.

Hugs, hugs, hugs and more hugs for you (and your family)

Tabby said...

I wish you happiness then along this journey and only the best things that can come out of it.
Hugs

Dawn said...

Prayers and hugs... I am amazed at the good place you guys are and you have arrived there so fast. That is awesome. It will be roughest for Rocky, I am sure...

Your happy time is on the horizon, you just don't see it yet...

be well

Christopher M said...

LOL

announcer: UP NEXT ON OXYGEN IS SNAPPED

* Cue Theme Song* GREED...MURDER....SNAPPED

The Creapy Woman Announcer: In a Quiet Southern Colorado town live Jody and Steve N********. Life was great for Jody and Steve.. Steve a native Coloradoan and Jody a Hawaiian moved to their quaint town back in 198- and had 4 kids together ( Kids Faces Blurred out as picture is shown ) LOL....

BUT ONE DAY..... THAT BLUE COLLAR QUAINT HAPPY LIFE CHANGED WHEN STEVE ANNOUNCED TO JO.. ITS OVER...

* dramatic music *

* cut to commercial *

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

ONLY KIDDING!

Always here Jo if you need me!

XOXOXOXOXO,
Christopher

http://life-accordingtochristopher.blogspot.com/

Traci said...

I'm glad you are in that place right now. Extra hugs for the girl.

Lisa said...

I admire your strength and the class with which you handle yourself. How you can see everything with such clarity is amazing to me.
Lisa