Saturday, June 26, 2010

To Observe or To Not To.

Seems like now days every day is a holiday.  Every occasion warrants a gift.  I understand Valentines but Saint Patrick's Day?  Cards and gift bags are available at all fine retailers and discount $ Stores for all your gift giving convenience. 

Anniversaries for every occasion imaginable...

What about the anniversary of the decision to divorce?  And while we're on the subject, is there a shorter term for the event because having to say 'the decision to divorce' is quite a mouthful that can surely be shortened to some idiotic, insensitive acronym of some sort.

This time last year Dickidoo was probably squirming and losing sleep over how to break the news of his life changing decision.  This time last year I was ignorantly happy in my 'good-enough' rut of a life.  It wasn't my idea of  'Happily Ever After' but it would do, or so I thought.  He thought differently.

This time this year, which is right now, Dickidoo and I remain polite friends, no benefits, no illusions and no real direction.  We're just floating with the tide, in a slow back and forth motion that gets us nowhere.  There is no fighting, no bickering, no need for secrets.  I have my dignity which is all I thought I wanted, but this is barely an existence.  I wonder if maybe we have taken two steps back.

In an effort to keep it real and focused I feel the need to mark our morbid little anniversary.  July 8th, the day my heart truly broke in half.  I wonder if he remembers the date?  Probably not.  It was probably just a blur to him.  But to me it was, for a moment in time, the moment that redefined my life.

I'm not sure if this calls for a celebratory card or a sympathetic one.  Only time will tell.  But I think there will be chocolate and alcohol involved.


GrapevineTexan said...

'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
....I think you should celebrate. After all, you have both survived an entire year: you with a broken heart and Steve with no heart at all. Life has gone on even so. Therefore, put on your prettiest dress, invite everyone you know, eat, drink, dance. July 9th will follow July 8th regardless.

hestiahomeschool said...

Oh, my heart breaks with you...I am sorry, but I know how strong you are and know you will be the happier one...