HALF WAY UP OR HALF WAY DOWN?

The optimist in me says that the window is half way up while the pessimist says its half way down.  Either way I think the state of Colorado owes me a huge 'thank you!' because until the day Big Red's window got jammed in the 'half way' position we hadn't seen a drop of rain.  As if dealing with left handed steering wasn't bad enough, the passenger side window had to get stuck half way open... or half way shut... it doesn't matter.  Its open and ever since it got stuck like that its rained every single fricken day.

Not that I mind, we need the rain, and it's the passenger side so I don't have to worry about a wet seat.  Folks suggest that I tape up the window but why?  The way I see it I may actually get clean upholstery, at least on the passenger side.

And all the rain is doing wonders for my zero-scaping!  My dandelions are growing like crazy! Fill 'er up Zeus!

PRODUCT WRAPPERS and a new countdown of sorts.

I love to read.    I read novels and comics, cookbooks and greeting cards.  I read cereal boxes and shampoo bottles.  I read EVERYTHING!  Fantasy, fact, fiction, ingredients, anecdotes, technical hoo haa, I read it all.

Some are quite amusing, like the Glaceau Vitamin Water bottles (read them, they're hilarious!)  The Java Monster cans are pretty cool as well (I don't think they like Starbucks).  And recently my sister Redbird sent me some 'biscuits' she had picked up during a trip to Scotland with a cute nutritional warning.

Tesco Value Rich Tea Biscuits: 

Allergy advice: * Contains wheat, gluten, sulphites.  * Recipe: No nuts.  * Ingredients: Cannot guarantee nut free.  *  Factory: Product made in nut free area but nuts used elsewhere.

Suitable for Vegetarians.

Dove Promises are a favorite of mine.  I buy them not because they taste good and sooth my addiction, but for the inspirational sayings found on the inside of the foil wrapper.    Here, let me unwrap one now and share....  Oh crap, the bag is empty.  Who ate the last of my Dove chocolates?  Grrrrrrrrr!  How good of them to leave a wrapper.

"Smile.  People will wonder what you've been up to."

How ironic.  Well, this should be easy, I just need to look for the Oompa who is smiling... with smooth milk chocolate covered teeth!

Breath in... breath out.... Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.... Must not freak out over chocolate....

Okay, all better.  Now, where was I?  Ah yes.  Inspirational messaging on product packaging.  Guess what product wrapper these sayings decorate.

"Keep a cool head"

"Stop stressing, start focusing."

"Live fearlessly."

"Win or lose, play fair."

Nope, its not Gatorade.  Its not Nike or Reebok either.  Need another hint?

"Control your period, don't let your period control you."

Yeppers, the outer wrappers for Playtex Sport Tampons now come with assorted inspirational and motivational messages. 

Once I read them I got a whole new perspective on my time of the month.  I am woman, hear me roar!

Oh please!  Periods suck and I can't wait for menopause so I can be done and over with them.  "Keep a cool head", "Live fearlessly". Did a committee really sit around a table in some board room brainstorming for motivating slogans to get women excited about using a tampon?  And this was the best they could come up with?

Personally I can't think of anything that would make me feel better about my period... besides not ever having it again for the rest of my life.  The average age for menopause is 51.  That's just over 3 years away or only 39 more cycles.  That's all the inspiration I need.

And of course maybe some more Dove Promises.

FUN TIMES IN FOUNTAIN

Fountain, Colorado has been a mess of messes lately.  I don't live in Fountain, it lies on our southern border.  I do, however, work in Fountain, and Dickidoo crosses a section of it to go to work each day.

A week ago there was a train derailment not even a mile from where I always get stuck at the RR crossing (but only when I'm running late).  8 railway cars full of coal tipped.  A few were crumpled and shredded like an aluminum can.  I'm still not sure how it happened but apparently the cars were towards the center (how is that possible?) of the freight train and nobody was injured.

With summer in Colorado comes summer storms.  Colorado has had some of the best storms I have ever seen.  Lots of thunder and lightning, lots of rain, and tornados!  Of course I've never seen a tornado because we never get tornados in my town.  But we do get them in Fountain!  And because every time a tornado watch is issued, every idiot runs outside to 'watch' for a tornado, Dickidoo was able to catch this little funnel cloud on his cell phone.  No, it didn't touch down although one was reported to have touched down else where in the area.  And for the record, yes, I was outside at work 'watching' for a tornado as well, I just didn't see one, dang it!

Two days ago Dickidoo and I were driving down to 'my store', when we spotted a bunch of emergency vehicles across from our dentist's office.  Some guy (drunk) ran a stop sign and plowed into a house on the other side of the street.  And he just kept on going, through the living room, across the hall, through the kitchen and dining room area.... and out the back door.  Seriously.  The guy drove right through the house, leaving a huge gaping hole from the front of the house to the back yard.  And wouldn't you know, with two rival paparazzi traveling together with a combined value of over $3000 in camera equipment, neither of us had a camera.  We didn't even have our camera phones.  Disgraceful! 

About my job... no, I am not part of the management team.  Lets just say that I am in store security and leave it at that.  I can't carry a gun, although I have volunteered to do so and even offered to provide my own firearm and ammunition.  Nope, not gonna happen, dang it!  Any how, today we lost power at the 'Store'.  I guess I'm too new at the job because while everyone else in the store was running around worrying about getting the customers safely out of the darkened store without injury or any unpaid for merchandise, I was more worried about whether or not the automatic toilets would still flush during the blackout.  By the way, no, automatic flushing toilets do not operate during a power outage.  Fortunately the power was restored before any 'accidents' happened.

One of Dickidoo's friends talked him in to inviting his daughter over to demonstrate an over priced vacuum cleaner.  Dickidoo is a good ole boy and will allow the children of his friends to practice their salesmanship on him just for the experience.  We cannot afford an over priced vacuum but I was tempted because not only did this little bugger suck up 7 years worth of dirt and grime, this contraption vacuumed, mopped, steamed, vaporized and sanitized.  About the only things it didn't do was cook and change diapers!  It even got Rocky excited about vacuuming.  Those who know the Oompas know they NEVER get excited about cleaning so this was AMAZING!  That alone sold me.

And I might even had busted out the old check book except for the little fact that the vacuum has a greater Blue Book value than Big Red... and even if I had a checkbook (which I don't) there isn't enough $ in my account to pay for the tax on that machine let alone pay for the machine itself.

Do you remember when a straw broom was good enough? 

Do you even REMEMBER straw brooms?

Check it out, my Dust Bunny blog has been read 297 times since its creation on March 18, 2004!  Woo Hoo!  Thank you Wonderful Readers! 
Dorn~

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STAY OF EXECUTION and a new job.

Dickidoo has decided to accept my appeal and has agreed to let me keep my beloved pick-up Big Red for one more year.  Of course in doing so he has committed himself to repairing the somewhat sticky steering that has pumped up my right biceps to a glorious tone of brawn and muscle.  I look like a right handed Popeye.

I have a new job.  I still work at "The Store", but in a new department.  I can't discuss it online, but what I will say is that I have an office.  And with that office come KEYS!  I have KEYS!  And PEOPLE!  I have PEOPLE!  Woo Hoo!  I even have my very own file cabinet drawer.  Okay, so it's just a drawer, but if I do good I will get my very own FILE CABINET!  Hey, in my job if you have an office, let alone a file cabinet drawer then you're SOMEBODY!

So let me tell you about my first day in my job as SOMEBODY.  I'm dancing through the hallway jingling my keys so everyone will see that I have keys to an office, with my very own file cabinet drawer, and I stop in front of the office to try out my new keys.  The first key doesn't work so I try the second key.  It didn't work either so I try again.  Then I spot a second lock so I try each of the keys in it.  Once again my efforts are unsuccessful.  Dumbfounded I step back and study the door as if through the power of telepathy I could unlock the locks.  That was when I noticed the narrow peep window in the door.  My office doesn't have a narrow peep window.  For the past few minutes I had been trying, under the careful surveillance of a couple of security cameras, to break into the store manager's office.

Grrrrr!

I finally got into MY office, and opened my file cabinet drawer where I found my training packet.  Its a beat up old file cabinet drawer, a little rusty in the corners, but it's all mine, in my musty little office.  Tomorrow I get voice mail and an email address.  I'm moving on up.  Yahoo!

LATERS...

Gabe left early on Father's Day.  Steve and I saw him off.  The Airport gave us a pass to wait with him at the gate.  I wish Kimmie had come with us but I guess she has a hard time with good-byes.  This one was harder than the others.  I'm still not sure why.  I just know it squeezed my heart so hard that my eyes just seemed to explode and leak all over the place.  Going back to work was a good idea to keep my mind occupied, but nothing was accomplished and my manager sent me home early.

Gabe is gone, Becca returned to the apartment with Kimmie and the Grand-Oompas.  Art is still in Oregon.  This big old house seems so empty and quiet.  It's even still somewhat picked up.  That is a sure sign that something just isn't right.  I've gotten a hint of an empty nest and have decided that I don't like it.  My nest needs to be full of Oompas, of FAMILY! 

Gabe should return to the states on the winds of December.  6 months away.  Judging by how quickly these past few weeks flew by he should be home in no time.

Not good-bye, just 'Laters', as Gabe always says.

I need 'later' to hurry up and get here.

LICENSED TO NAG

I have been selfish these past few days.  My schedule has been hectic~ up at 3am, work from 4 till 1pm, then home to run Oompas around.  Supper has not been served before 8pm in almost 2 weeks.

Friday morning I got a call at from Gabe while I was taking a break in Big Red. 

"Hey Mom, we're getting married today, do you want to be there?"

Duh!

In my excitement I ran out of the truck to announce that I was leaving early... and locked my keys inside the pick-up.  Fortunately also in my excitement I forgot to roll up the windows and was able to tip toe and reach in far enough to unlock the door.

We got the usual judicial run around...'go to the courthouse', once at the courthouse - 'go to the county clerk's office a block away then come back with the license'.  Once at the county clerk's office the two betrothed filled out the license then called us over to sign.

'Don't you have to wait until you're married before we sign?' Dickidoo asked and the couple laughed.

'We kind of already are married' Gabe announced. 

Just like that... A flash of an ID card, a birth certificate, an oath that all information is true, a signature on the bottom of the page and POOF!  Man and wife.

They could even have done it at the satellite office at the Mall, and held their reception in the Food Court at McDonalds!    God Bless America!

And now I am a legal Mother-In-Law!  A 'MIL' , licensed to nag.  Whoo hoo!

Congratulations Gabe and Kimmie.  May your journey through life together be full of love, laughter and Oompa mischief.

1 down, 4 to go. 

Next?

ALL TOGETHER NOW!

Left to right:  Zack, Gabe, Rocky, Becca.  Front:  Art

Our last formal portrait of the family was taken before Rocky was born.   For some reason a studio setting just doesn't capture the vivacious personalities of the Oompas.  They humor me every time we get together and sit nicely... some what... but the moment is gone in a flash, and if I miss the shot I am out of luck until the next reunion.  I can't say that I mind too much though because its moments like this that I feel more accurately depicts my children as they really are.

I put Art on a plane to Oregon today.  He'll be there for the summer.  No tears this time.  I think I'm getting better at letting my little ones leave the nest.  Still, I'm going to miss that little stinker and his pink haired girl friend. 

We have Gabe until Father's Day.  He leaves that morning (bummer!) so we will celebrate at the Renaissance Festival the day before.  It will be strange not having Art with us as a pirate, but I've promised to eat a turkey leg for him and send a picture.  Not to worry though, we plan another trip to the fair when he returns in July.

Besides having Gabe safely home and all of the Oompas back together I think the best part of my life lately was when my youngest Grandbaby Ryott leaned over and kissed me on the face the night before last.  Did this tiny little 8 month old know what he was doing?  I choose to believe that he did. 

I am the happiest that I have been in months.  Happy is such a nice feeling.

But my foot still hurts like a booger!  Grrrr!

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