Sunday, September 30, 2007

INSTA-THONG (don't try this at home)

I have to stop dressing for work in the dark.  I suppose it wouldn't be so bad if I were to get my clothes ready before I went to bed but most mornings find me feeling around in the dark for something similar to a khaki pants and  a navy blue polo shirt.  This morning my blind fashion feel resulted in a pair of jeans I haven't worn in years.

I didn't think they would fit this morning since they hadn't fit the last time I tried to squeeze them on, but hey, I have lost 15 pounds according to my broken scale so I thought it was worth a try.  A little shimmie, a little redistribution of my generous curves and I was able to zip up those Lee jeans.  Yes!

No!

The one thing that I didn't consider while strutting around in my skinny pants was the consequence of wearing granny panties (full size women's briefs) under tight fitting jeans.  That would be the old excess panty displacement theory.  While rearranging my fluffiness to fit the jeans, the volume of fluff contained by my granny panties decreased, leaving a surplus of smooth comfort cotton blend sandwiched between my self and the straight jacket jeans.  While the snuggness of the waist band offered no discomfort, the seam line was another story... the butt and crotch seams to be exact.  For some reason they seemed compelled to seek out the path of least resistance.

The result:  Insta-thong!

I'm sure this could be the start of some bizarre new fashion trend, "convertible panties: one minute a full sized brief, the next minute its a butt flossing thong!",  but its not my style.  I spent the whole day fighting my self imposed wedgie.  Never again, Grrrrrrrrr!
lost again, but thats okay... maybe next week.

Greeting from Gabe in sunny Kuwait.

17 comments:

mzgoochi said...

DID YOU WEAR THEM OR CHANGE? HEEHEE

YOU'RE SO FUNNY DORN!

LUV YA!

LAHOMA

mpnaz58 said...

You could always go commando style, and not wear any panties!!  They sell these things in our gift shop (I kid you not), that look like panty liners, and you attach they to the crotch of your pants, and you don't have to wear panties.  They are $35 for 6 liners, non-reusable (perish that thought), then you shell out another $$ when you run out.  There has to be an easier way!
xoxo ~Myra

ljat1 said...

Too funny -- except I've been there!!  Oooo, I hope no more!  LOL.  Hope you've had a great weekend.  Blessings and prayers to you and yours!  Linda  

deshelestraci said...

Hilarious!  Kuwait is better than Iraq, yes?  No?  I'm feeling geographically challeged at the moment.
Traci

princesssaurora said...

Oh I am so glad you heard that Gabe is in Kuwait... I will head over there soon... I have had the instathong from my granny panties too, youch!  lol  Glad you are getting to reuse some old wardrobe... that is always nice!

be well,
Dawn

ktkamanski said...

I will be a Granny Panty wearing thang until those thong things go away! I floss my teeth and nothing more! Love your style as I always have (your a big part of my wonderful inspirations). May your days be filled with the things you deserve and bring you the things you want most! Take care and enjoy.
Katie

sdoscher458 said...

Good lord your theory of dispersion is hysterical. I guess better that then to have them try to escape over the top of your pants, doing an instant wedgey! Funny lady. So glad you heard from Gabe...love, Sandi

cyn4mc2856 said...

ROFL...LOL  Hope you're comfy now!

amy122389 said...

.....and that is why I love drawstring pants.  :-D

Happy Monday!

~Amy

chat2missie said...

LOL!  I hate insta-thongs!
Missie

mutualaide said...

A the old dental floss trick!  How anyone wears them comfortably is beyond me.  Ouch!

cmarlow480 said...

LOL JO.......... I dont even think I WANT to picture that HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
lol thats just a scary thought in itself lolol

~ Christopher ~

pixiedustnme said...

ah, that sounds so comfortable.  you're almost making me want to give it a try...
uh...NOT!

swmpgrly said...

hell get a thong...lol
I hate a wedgie and if yoyr thong is the right size and made of a soft fabric you dont feel a thing.
congrats on the weight loss

rdautumnsage said...

And they say at our age adventure went out with our youth......Thanks for giving me something to smile about today! (hugs) Indigo

hestiahomeschool said...

Well, you could always free cheek it, like I do!
(More info than you wanted, perhaps?)

topazscorpio27 said...

Well, look at it like this:  You had something that young girls pay mucho bucks for.  You know I'm 27 and I briefly wore thongs when I was in my early 20's and I came to one conclusion that stopped me.  When I was younger I tried always to keep my underwear out of my butt crack and then I went out and bought something that went there automatically!  That's insantly!  -Dawn-