So the big news in the news is 'Orgasmic Childbirth'. Huh? Is that some new fad, like Lamaze? Where was I when they invented that because I've had 5 natural deliveries and believe me when I say there was nothing orgasmic about them. I was too busy convincing the sadistic mid-wife that an enema really wasn't necessary and trying to strangle Dickidoo between contractions to even consider the possibility that my current 'open your legs and smile' position could possibly come with some kind of sexual gratification.
Nope, instead of blissful waves of pleasure I was rewarded with hemorrhoids and a slimy, howling creature of questionable inter-galactic descent... each and every time. No orgasms, just babies... 5 of them. I have to admit though, if I had experienced such a thing during delivery there just might have been a few more Oompas around here... which, now that I think about it might not be a good thing...
Still, it would have been nice if I had been given the option along with all of the other questions they had me answer before they would let me give that final push.
Delivery Options: (check one)
What will they come up with next?