COLORADO'S COOL, BUT CHECK OUT VERMONT!

Living in Colorado has so far been such a positive experience, especially for a family. It is like a melting pot of cultures and opportunity. Check out the College that Becca recently performed at... Adams State Normal School. The Adams State Abnormal School was across the street. Ah, the land of opportunity!

Okay, not really, I just made that up. But we did look... If there is a 'Normal School' surely there had to be an 'Abnormal School'.

Our bank just sent us an invitation to participate in Open Enrollment for an Accidental Death and Dismemberment Insurance plan. We always read the fine print, often before we even read the large print because the fine print usually contains more pertinent information than the main brochure. This one proved to be quite informative. For instance we learned that while suicide is not covered in other states, if an insane policy holder lives in Colorado it is covered.

I find myself wondering why Colorado (and Missouri) was singled out for insanity. Hmmmmm...

After reading the exculsions and exceptions for the policy I have come to the conclusion that in order to benefit most from this coverage one must live in Vermont.

While all other states are not covered for the following occurrences, folks from Vermont are covered even if the accidental death or dismemberment is the result of : drug abuse or illegal drug use; declared or undeclared acts of war; weapons of mass destruction; flying as a pilot or crew member; participation in a race or competition as a professional; driving with a blood alcohol level exceeding the legal limits; and committing or attempting to commit an assault.

Lets reword that a little shall we?

In the state of Vermont one can get accidental death or dismemberment insurance for illegal drug use and abuse, racing, acts of war, and drunk driving.

And Vermont is the only state that is covered for Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Interesting... Why?

The way I see it, if the State of Vermont felt the need to make those allowances then they must have had a reason. I think I'll pass on the extra coverage and stick to Colorado, with our limited coverages... and our Normal schools.

MARDI GRAS

I have always wanted to attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans. There's something so appealing about the glittery masks, cheap beads and anonymously flashing one's boobs in front of hundreds of strangers!
Not really. I doubt even New Orleans is ready for my 48 year old knee knockers!

Becca, my Oompa songbird, auditioned and was selected for the Adams State College High School Honor Choir along with a few other students from Mesa Ridge High School. It is a huge honor and only a select few from the school district were chosen. Becca was so excited that even a sinus infection and a slight case of laryngitis couldn't hold her back when the buses were ready to roll for the 3 day festival in Alamosa. We sent her off with our prayers and lots of advice. Gargle with salt and warm water (easy enough), suck on Ricola (not a problem) and don't talk in between practice (major problem!). Even with a hoarse voice she made the re-audition and final cut. So on Saturday the family loaded up the Impala and drove 250 miles south to hear her.

It was amazing! I cried. I cried at a high school choir concert! But it wasn't just any old high school choir. It was the best of the best in the state of Colorado, being directed by the best of the best in the state of Colorado. They sang, accompanied by just a piano and flute. They sang like Angels, their voices reverberating through the tall domed chapel ceilings of the Sacred Hearts Church.

Who would have thought that a noisy Oompa could sound so beautiful?

Dickidoo turned 40-something last week. Being as he has spoiled me like crazy this past year I really wanted to do something nice for him. A nice dinner out was out of the question being as I still have that massive phone bill to pay off, so I decided to make him his favorite meal... which unfortunately happens to be my least favorite meal. Liver and onions. P-yuck!

How exactly does one go about preparing a dish that one dislikes so much that one cannot discern whether it is prepared correctly or not? Liver, no matter how you prepare it, is nasty!

Dickidoo loved it! And strangely enough even I found it to be not bad at all when drizzled with a little blue cheese dressing.

Still, it won't be showing up on the menu again until Dickidoo's next 40-something'th birthday (assuming that he spoils me like crazy between now and then!)

Upcoming Events~

In July of 2010 there will be a celebration in Loopaland. The Davis side of the family (my folks) will be migrating to Colorado for a Family Reunion.

Dickidoo forgot.

How the heck do you forget a family reunion planned at YOUR house with one of the wackiest families in America?

Ask Dickidoo, cos I just don't know.

At any rate in just over a year the state of Colorado will be influxed by a crazy mix of Okinawan and Caucasians of all ethnic backgrounds (we're still not ruling out Martian and Plutonians). There is a potential of approximately 56.

Wow!

No, they won't all be staying here in the House of Oompa although we have hosted many parties of 75+ guests. We will probably have a camper or two, and definitely a tent for the kids. The less adventurous will probably stay at a hotel in town.

I'll be in the tent with the kids, except on taco and burrito night.

Dickidoo will probably wish he was sleeping in his brother's house in Norwalk, California, except for the fact that my Mama will be at the stove controls the whole time and he wouldn't miss that for anything. I can't believe my dad isn't obese, cos my Mama can cook!

But, before then... Becca, Rocky and I are planning a road trip to New York to visit my sister Val and her yak farm. In case you don't recall, Val was the inspiration behind the name of this blog 'Dust Bunny Club of North America' when she visited my house shortly after I moved to Colorado and commented on my 'dust bunnies'. Anyhow, Val is flying out here during Spring Break to help me drive to her place where we hope to totally spoil her yaks silly, and then she'll drive back here with us and fly back home after we totally spoil her here. At least that is the plan.

Art is jealous. He wants to go with us. We want a 'girls roadtrip'. We want Art's pink haired girlfriend to go with us. He says no. I think he's selfish. His pink haired girlfriend would love it. He just doesn't want to get left home with his dad, computer addict brother and silly cousin.

Oh waaaaaaahhhhh! Get over it dude! The girls are going to New York and we're taking your pink haired girlfriend!

OOMPARELLA

Although Rebecca disliked Rocky's ex-boyfriend with a capital D-I-S-L-I-K-E-D, she still felt bad for her baby sister when they broke up and was the doting big sister for a record 7 days. During that time she offered to design a dress for Rocky to wear to the Winter Ball, and even offered to introduce her to an old crush.

Endearing, yes. Commendable, absolutely.

Except for one little detail. Rebecca doesn't know how to sew. So when Rebecca says she's going to sew something, what she is really saying is that Mom is going to sew something, with the help of her best friend and Art's Pink Haired Girlfriend.

I spent Valentine's Day sewing Becca's vision into reality. It was a diamond in the rough and I found myself trying to salvage $80 worth of material that was cut too soon and sewn in the wrong order with no pattern at all, and yet, 4 hours before the dance, Rachel put on her custom designed dress and became Cinderella for a day.

Awesome design Becca, good work Art's Pink Haired Girlfriend. Rocky, I hope you felt as beautiful as you looked this evening.

But Becca, no more promising to design and make custom outfits until you learn how to sew them yourself!

About that Poopy Little Puppy...

My puppy seems to have a leak. Can I exchange her for one that doesn't?

My nephew saw me putting some frozen corn kernels into the microwave. The next time he walked by I was pulling some corn on the cob out that I had just heated up.

'Oh Wow, you make your own corn?' he remarked in utter amazement. I wasn't sure what he was getting at so I slowly replied 'If you mean did I cook it, yes, I did.'

'I mean, did you stick the corn on those things yourself?' he clarified in all earnestness.

I promised my nephew that when he gets a girl friend I would share this story with her. Hopefully she will see the humor in it. My nephew didn't. He's such an Oompa! Hehehehe!

SISTERS

Rocky and her boyfriend broke up recently. Becca never liked the guy and made no secret of it at the time, however she refrained from giving the 'I told you so!' lecture and has been very supportive towards her baby sister. She has even designed a custom gown for their Valentine Dance.

I am touched by the sisterly love the two have been demonstrating lately. But I am a sister myself and I know...

It won't last!

Texting in my sleep

I stayed up late the night before last... or I stayed up early to be more precise. Before I went to bed I made a sausage strata and tossed it in the oven, setting the timer to start the oven at 8:30 am. It was after 3 am at the time and I had been screwing around on facebook.com but I made breakfast and that made it all okay.

4 hours later something woke me up. I looked at the clock through blood shot eyes. 7:58. AM. I could hear Dickidoo pounding on bedroom doors, waking the Oompas in a 'begging to be killed' cheerful voice. I was suddenly in a very obliging mood.

Then I remember the strata waiting for the oven's automatic timer to kick on... in half an hour. But everyone was already up. (including myself, grrrrrrrrr!)

So I did what any modern, techno savvy mother would do.

I picked up my cell phone and texted all the kids, in the hopes that one of them would respond and save me a trip out to the kitchen to change the timer on the oven.

Since I was already somewhat coherent I shot Rocky a message to let the Poopy Little Puppy out to deposit her afternoon snack on the lawn. While I was doing that, Becca texted me to see what I needed. More instructions for Art, advice for Rocky, errands for Dickidoo and my morning 'To Do' list was done. With a sense of major accomplishment I stuffed my cell phone under my pillow, turned my face towards the warm morning sun's rays and resumed my mini hibernation.

Technology left me behind a long time ago, but I amaze even myself at how fast I can 'one thumb text' through cyber swollen eyes if it means a couple more hours of sleep in the morning.

Technical hoo-haa

I have a Nuvi 205w navigational system in my car. It came with the extended warranty we invested in when we purchased the Impala. I was very impressed when Dickidoo demonstrated how it worked. My icon is an eagle. I even have an eagle shadow that shows up on the little animated road below me. At the touch of the screen I know exactly where I am and how to get back home. Emergency locations like police stations, fire departments and hospitals are also pre-programed. I was so excited to try it out on my own.

'Turn right on Wayfarer Drive in 50 yards' said the Nuvi 205w with an annoying female voice that sounded suspiciously like the voice of the self check-out registers at my store. Just great! I hear her all day at work, and now she was in my car bossing me around and telling me where to go,

Except there was no right turn in 50 yards...

'Turn right.'

There is no right turn, it's a fricken field!

'Recalculating route.' my Nuvi 205w said almost impatiently.

'Turn left on Coral Ridge Drive.'

There is no fricken Coral Ridge Drive on the left either! The sign says Candelabra! I even stopped the car to give the gadget time to recalculate.

'Turn left!' By that time I think my Nuvi 205w was actually yelling at me! I deal with enough irritating people in my line of work and I certainly did't need my machines copping an attitude with me as well so I switched off the navigator and drove around until I found Coral Ridge Drive.

I know there will come a time when I need my Nuvi 205w and will probably greatly appreciate her directions but for now, just around my town, she's a pain in the caboose.

I still think those things should come with gender options. Perhaps some guys actually like Nuvi's voice, but personally I would rather have a voice like Sam Elliot's telling me where to go. I wouldn't even care if there was no left turn, I'd get lost a million times just to hear him say 'Turn here,' or 'Turn there'.

It would be more like a date than getting lost!

25 YEARS...

Over the past 25 years we have had:

• 5 children


• 2 grandchildren


• 4 apartments


• 3 houses


• 10 cars


• 4 trucks


• 1 motorcycle


• 2 dirt bikes


• 1 ATV


• 1 go-cart


• 3 lawn mowers


• 1 snow blower


• 3 dogs


• 3 cats


• 6 hamsters


• 1 hedgehog


• 1 ferret


• 7 dove


• 4 hermit crabs


• 4 crawdads


• 1 gold fish (Henry is 5 years old!)


• 24+ tropical fish (Henry's supper)


• 4 garter snakes (all MIA in the house)


• 8 TV sets


• 5 desktop computers (only this one still works)


• 1 laptop computer


• 14 cell phones (only 5 work)


• 8 automatic drip coffee makers


• 2 Bunn-Omatic Brew-Omatic 2 pot coffee makers (because you can never have too many Bunn-Omatic Brew-Omatic 2 pot coffee makers!)

Lets see what we can add to the list for the next 25 years. Happy Anniversary Steve!

This 'n that...

Having a puppy in the house is much like having a baby in the house. Except, of course that the baby wears diapers, and doesn't eat poop. Yeah, two major differences! Jubiliee is a sweetheart though and I am adapting. Yesterday when she saw me after I had been gone for a couple of hours she ran to greet me and stepped on her ears, falling to her face and sliding for a few feet before getting back up without loosing her momentum. I was so tickled by her enthusiasm that I forgot to ask if she had snacked on recycled Friskies before she licked my face.

I saw a lady at the store with finger nails that were about 6 inches long. 6 inches! They were so long that they curled. The tops were polished a deep crimson, but the under sides were brown and flaky looking. Looking at them I couldn't help wondering what would inspire a person to grow their nails that long. Did they think it was fashionable? They looked filthy and germy. How did she manage to do things like zipping up clothing or fastening buttons? How can she pick up a grand baby or play with a child?

How does she use the bathroom?

Soooooooooooo, how 'bout them Steelers, huh?

Yeah, I know they're not the Broncos, but they're second best so yeah!

6X! Woo hoo!

Of course there will be no living with Dickidoo from now until the next Super Bowl... and if he whacks me with that dang 'terrible towel' one more time I'll make sure of it!