Guess what, Dickidoo reads at work some times, so get to work!!!!!
Comment from navakukus - 8/18/05 3:21 PM
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I found this comment on my 'Countdown to Christmas' entry. Care to guess who it was from? Yep, it would be none other than my dear sweet, wonderful, loving and very handsome husband Dickidoo (lame and desperate attempt at flattery.) I am sooooooo busted!
Do you realize that there are only 128 until Christmas 2005? Are you ready yet? It will be different for me this year. This will be the first year that I won't have all of my children together at the house. In fact this will be the very first year that the whole family won't be together on Christmas morning, even when Dickidoo was in the military for all those years. But.... I get to shop for my Grandbaby, what fun that will be!
It is quiet in the house, the kids are all in school so guess what I'm going to do? I'll give you a hint, it has nothing to do with dirty dishes, laundry or calorie burning. I'll have time just before Dickidoo gets home to rush around and make it look like I've been working hard all day. For now I'm going to take a little nap on the couch. Why? Because I can!
You can't see it but I'm doing the Happy Dance over here. By 8:00 the last of the school-aged Oompa Loompas had left for school. (Was it my imagination or did all the teachers on the playground look a little depressed?) Now its just me and Zack, and I am soooo happy! I got the Frankenputer back online, although my broadband modem is still fried. I never thought I'd be happy to hear the screeching sound of a dial-up modem, but it sure was nice to get it back up and running. My poor little 'Dhell' is still sitting on the other desk, all its wires disconnected, waiting for the para-technics to take it to the operating room. I hope its not a long procedure, and I hope that it doesn't involve a transplant. I have literally 1000's of picture files on the hard-drive, I will probably cry if they are lost.
I got absolutely no sleep last night. I remember glancing at the clock once at 2:45 and then again at 3:30. It didn't help that Dickidoo was snoring happily beside me. He wasn't even loud so I can't blame my insomnia on him. I just hate when he can sleep and I can't. It makes me just want to kick him awake. But I was good, I let him sleep, because I can take a nap now that the kids are in school!
Today is my oldest boy Gabe's 21st birthday. We are still waiting to hear if he will be able to visit us before he leaves for the Gulf next month. If he can't then I will probably go on a road trip out his way. I don't even know when he is leaving... I don't want to know... but I can feel the seconds slipping through my fingers at an alarming rate. I keep thinking that if I don't think about it then it will slow down and maybe even go away, but that hasn't happened yet.
Happy Birthday Gabe, wish I could be there to celebrate with you today. Hopefully we'll get to have that drink when you get here in a couple of weeks.... See you soon... Suger Booger!
For now, I will lounge on the sofa in front of the TV with the remote, a stack of dvd's, a bottomless cup of coffee, some peanut butter cookies (thank you Rocky) and Belgian chocolate! Ahhhh, the life of a stay-at-home-mom! It doesn't get much better than this! (well, having my broadband and computer back would be nice).
In my opinion there is only one thing worse than pmsing, pre-menopausing and dial-up at the same time. That is pmsing, pre-menopausing and NO COMPUTER AT ALL, not even dial-up, at the same time! Throw in the fact that we used the last of the coffee grounds the day before and you have the perfect senario for a total psycho meltdown.
I don't for the life of me know what those dang blasted Oompas did but my Dell is DEAD, and I'm just too hormonal to try and figure it out. I tried re-booting off of the main disk but the Wizard of Odds behind my monitor screen wants to reformat the whole partition. That would be easy enough except that is where all of my pictures are. I guess this is evidence that I am not a geek, a geek would have a back-up disk and would have saved a copy of all of the picture files as they accumulated. Somehow I don't feel better knowing that I am most definitely not a computer geek.
School starts tomorrow.... they couldn't wait just two more days, they had to,mess around yesterday morning when they shouldn't have and POOF! Did anyone, upon sensing the danger, volunteer to run to the store to buy some coffee to defuse the situation? No! Not even a Starbucks! Not even a 7-11 cappucino!
Dickidoo shines brightest in the darkest of hours. He recognized my distress when he called the house yesterday and suggested that instead of killing anyone or anything, that I get out of the house. Maybe it was my manical laughter but he clued in on the danger. Okay, taking the kids with me wasn't the best part of the plan, especially when I would be passing many acres of rural wastelands, but in the end I was able to calm down and even enjoy the day. When Dickidoo got home he came with the news that he was going to try to find someone to fix the Dell. My tool box consisting of a hammer and duct tape obviously was cause for alarm. Then he took me out (away from the proximity of the 'body') and replaced my supply of coffee grounds, along with a new bottle of hazelnut creamer! I woke up this morning refreshed, re-caffeinated and ready to take on anything.
So what now? I have infiltrated the web via Dickidoo's Inspiron Notebook, which is way too tiny and delecate for my clumbsy fingers. Zack is busy working on the Frankenputer, which is having modem problems but I am able to work on my pictures with ease. And tomorrow.... tomorrow my house will be clear of all Oompas, save one and I will be in the cul de sac at 8:20 am dancing my foolish heart out with the other parents.
21 hours !
Today started out bad. It has only gotten worse. I am trying to keep a positive attitude since it is my daughter's birthday, but somethings are just unacceptable. Not replacing the toiletpaper, a normal occurance in my house but today it is one of the many straws that have pushed me on over-load. I turned off the coffee pot when there was still coffee in the pot, something I denied but there were at least 2 witnesses who insist that they saw me do it.
'Hey, I am PMSing and PreMenopausing' I said. Dickidoo decided that was a good time to make a snide comment about excuses.
'That was not an excuse, that was a warning!' I corrected him.
I think their silence indicates that they have finally gotten the message.
Today is Rocky's birthday. Oh my goodness, my baby is growing up! With each day she grows more and more like me, its terrifying ! I've been racking my brains lately for any kind of memories that might help me with any preemptive actions I can take to avoid what my parents went through with me. I fear, however, that the warning has come too late. Rocky has become... ME. Its not all bad though, she is also a die-hard Bronco fan. GO BRONCOS!
Happy Birthday Baby Doll. I love you!
Guess what? Yep, its that time again and tonight is the first pre-season game for my beloved BRONCOS! Got my beer chillin, got my penant, my pompoms, got my jersey (oops, only a teeshirt), I'm ready! Okay guys, lets play some football! I've got the 'blahs'. I've had a bloody headache parked behind my right eye for 2 days now. It seems to feed off of non-asprin pain relievers. It favors Corona. It is impartial to coffee and it is non-receptive to chocolate. It has made me grumpy and unreasonable. Being stuck on dial-up isn't helping any either, but I'm too irritable to even mess with the dang computer connections. I'm afraid something bad will happen, I will totally freak, start ripping things off, throwing things around, totally demolishing my Dell... and a guilt trip is the last thing I need right now.
So anyhow, I've got to make this trip online quick since my phoneline is being tied up. Unfortunately, and anyone who has dial-up can appreciate this oxymoron... there is no such thing as a quick trip online with dial-up.
The comic hypnotist show last night was awesome. I think the guy must have hypnotized me the last time into thinking that he was the sexiest hypnotist I have ever seen, because DANG! Dickidoo didn't volunteer this time although he did ask me if I thought he should. I was feeling so grouchy last night that I probably would have done or said something really mean to him if he did, so I didn't encourage him but we got free passes for this weekend and I will try to get him up then, when I'm in a better mood. Truth be known, if Dickidoo were to relax enough to go under I think he would be a blast to mess around with!
School starts next Wednesday. I've got a good list of chic-flicks to choose from (thanks for all the suggestions!), gonna stock up on cookies and gourmet coffee, I've got a case of European hazelnut chocolate (a gift from my neighbor), I am set! I can sunbath in the hot tub, take uninterrupted candlelight bubblebaths, oh the possibilities!
ERK! HOLD EVERYTHING! Dang, I just remembered I've still got Zack home... he's taking a semester off before jumping into college. Okay, scratch the sunbathing in the hot tub for the time being. Maybe we can get him a job during the day.... Oh well, I'm still having my celebration onWednesday morning! Someone asked me yesterday at the grocery store when the kids go back. When I told them exactly how many days were left, the person laughed at how I had already started counting down. Are you kidding? I've been counting down ever since the last day of school at the end of May!
6 more days!
I hate broadband, it sucks! I can never count on it to work. One day I can be surfing happily along, and the next day I'm cussing and fussing as I try to manipulate the web with my dial-up.
I hate dial-up, it sucks! Its so slow, and my pictures never look right if and when they finally load. I have to reload almost every webpage in order for it to load. Is there a record for the number of times a user has seen the 'Error- Website not responding'screen in one session? And while nobody ever calls the house on a normal day, you know they're all dialing my number like crazy right now... Why? Because I'm on dial-up!
I'm going to see the hypnotist this evening. Gonna try to talk Dickidoo into going on stage again. He almost went under the last time, and he was just sitting in the audience. Maybe he'll go all the way this time, oh buddy, I could have sooooooo much fun if he were ever to fo under!
7 more days!
At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable. At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty. You drink coffee when you can get your hands on it. Your caffeine addiction level: high (no, ya think?)
What Kind of Coffee Are You?
=========================================
My broadband is down... AGAIN! I pay way too much money for cable only to have to acess the internet through my phoneline. Yay Adelphia! And they want me to combine my phoneline with my cable... and have no way to communicate at all? They're nuts! Usually this way I have at least one or the other to fall back on. Agh! I hate technology!
8 more days until school starts! Woo hoo!
Rocky finally found her frog, but is it a prince? Preliminary field tests concluded that it was not. It was a beautiful Northern Leopard frog, which gets its name from the spots on its back. Rocky wanted to keep it as a pet but I made her release it. I'm holding out for the frog prince, she has a prophecy to full fill after catching the bouquet at the wedding the other week.
I woke up this morning to the sound of 'Oh S**T!' I glanced at the alarm clock as Dickidoo scrambled out of bed. 6:10 am. (Funny, I don't remember the alarm going off.) He should have been on his way in to work by now. It sucks to be him! I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. Hey, I've only got a few more days to langour in bed so I'm going to get in as much down time as I can!
When I did finally get out of bed, two hours later... my eyes were almost stuck shut. Dang it, I wore my contacts to bed again! I hate when I do that. Now my eyes are full of eye boogers. It sucks to be me!
9 more days until school starts! I think I will celebrate with gourmet coffee and Pepperidge Farms cookies! And that first day I think I will watch a bunch of chick-flicks. Any recommendations?
I have no life and therefore I must journal. Check out my new blog called 'Away Messages'.
Dickidoo flatulated this morning in bed. I'm beginning to think its like an aphrodisiac to him. I'm not really sure if its the smell that gets him going or the sight of me gasping for air like a fish out of the water, but I can almost guarantee that even as my eyes are rolling back in their sockets from the toxic odor, he's scooching over to whisper suggestions in my ear... Half the time I don't hear him because even my ears slam shut against the smell. Chocolates, Dickidoo, have you ever considered chocolates? Or flowers... beautiful, sweet roses? What about music? KennyG would be nice. Can we get a little romance going here, please? Sheesh! And people wonder why I mention farts in my journal so often. Because my life is filled with them, thats why! And half of them aren't even mine.
My son Gabe called today. He's trying real hard to get back here at the end of the month. He'll be 21 by then, his birthday is on the 17th of this month, a legal adult. Funny how you can join the military, drive a tank and shoot an M-16 during a war on a foreign country, but you can't drink a beer until you're 21. I plan to have a beer with my son when he visits. And hopefully I'll have a glass of milk with my grandson as well.
10 more days until school starts! The house to myself! My computer to myself! My coffee creamer to myself! I'm almost giddy with excitement.
This was the site of a Computer war last night. This, as in THIS computer... MY computer! Zack and Becca were fighting over who's turn it was, and the ensuing argument resulted in my monitor being shoved off the desktop and against the wall. Fortunately for them, my computer is none the worse for wear. Unfortunately for them they are now both indefinitely restricted from using said computer. With Art being grounded from its use as well due to a 'consuming food at the computer' violation, I now only have to share online time with Rocky and Dickidoo. With school starting in less than 2 weeks (11 days to be exact!) I shall have the computer all to myself during the weekdays. Ah yes, life is good!
Last year I made reference of a dear friend who died tragically during Basic Training and a few readers wondered about it but compassionately refrained from pressing for answers. They knew I would share the story when I was ready. I am ready now. I am hoping that by writing this I will be able to find some kind of acceptance and closure.
Nolan was the son of our very close friends. We shared many hunting trips and blackpowder campouts together. Nolan was the big brother Gabe never had but always wanted. The other children looked up to him as an older brother as well. And he was like a son to my husband and I. He joined the Army Reserve and was already attending drills when he left for Boot Camp. He was so excited. His father had served in the military, and many of their friends still did. He was going to join their ranks.
His father kept us updated on his progress. Somehow there was a mix-up and he ended up spending more than the usual time in Reception holding. During that time he had suffered a severe sunburn, so bad that his freshly shaven head was swollen. We didn't think too much of it at the time since he had been to the clinic to get treatment, but he would never be the same after that.
When Nolan finally started his training, naturally his communication with his family became limited. But as the time wore on, these communications became disturbing. He was obviously stressed out from the rigorous training, and at first it was just attributed to having to adjust to the severe discipline, the mental and physical requirements placed on the recruits. His father would call us after the phone calls and the uneasiness and concern in his voice grew with each call. Change was expected in one's personality, but Nolan was changing dramatically into someone that was not even a shadow of the mature and eager young man who had left for boot camp less than a month ago.
I remember one night in particular. We were sitting upstairs watching TV when our friend called. He said his son had just called. He had sounded confused and was stuttering, which wasn't normal. He had been placed on Unit Watch, his boot laces and belt had beenconfiscated. He couldn't sleep, he wasn't drinking water because he was having control issues. He was seeing the Chaplain and a social worker for having suicidal thoughts. He had apologized to his father for letting him down. There was no sign of his normal self confidence.
I was crying openly the whole time, saying over and over again... 'get him to the emergency room!' My husband told our friend to contact the Red Cross and have them intervene.
They did. The recruit was taken to the emergency room and tested. The tests were inconclusive but it was determined that he was not dehydrated. He was returned to his unit. At that point the military determined that he was just trying to get out of fulfilling his basic training commitment but was becoming a danger to himself and those in his unit. The decision was made to release him, but the process would take a couple of weeks. My friend spoke to his son after the unit called on his behalf. Again Nolan apologized. At this end, hundreds of miles away, we agonized that the ordeal would be dragged out for another two weeks. We just wanted him back safe with us.
It was only a couple of days later but it seemed like a lifetime. I came home for lunch, knowing that my husband who had only just recently returned from duty in Korea would be there. The carpet cleaner stood in the middle of the livingroom where he had been working but stopped for some reason. Shrugging, I went down stairs to watch the news. He came in the front door a few minutes later and I went up to meet him. I was still getting used to having him back after the 2 year separation... but he didn't return my happy greeting. He just took me in his arms and hugged me. I remember feeling his body shaking, and thinking... this isn't right, something isn't right.
'Nolan is dead.'
I stepped back, so sure I had heard wrong but the tears streaming from his face confirmed that I had not. I don't remember much more. But I remember learning how it felt to have my heart ripped from my body. I cried harder then I have ever cried in my life. I hurt more than I ever knew was possible.
Telling the children was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. How do you comfort 5 heartbroken children when you can't even comfort your own grieving heart? How do you explain that which you can't even comprehend? What do you tell them when they ask 'Why did he kill himself? Didn't he love us any more?"
And that was the hardest to understand. Nolan loved life. He loved the military. He loved his Reserve Unit. He was an avid shooter and outdoorsman. He was used to roughing it. He wasn't some overly protected young man who suddenly realized that he had bit off more than he could chew during basic training. He had asked for help. He had been denied.
Steve flew to Fort Leonard Wood to bring Nolan home. Nolan's ashes were scattered over the land that he loved. My husband and son hung an eagle feather high in a pine tree over looking the area in his honor.
A make-believe investigation was conducted. Death was ruled as a suicide. I call it an assisted suicide. There are even whispers of homicide, but those are quickly hushed. There are so many questions that have never been answered. There were so many warning signs that were ignored by his chain of command, obvious signs. Nobody took his condition seriously. When his buddies went to the Drill Sgt. to voice their concerns, it only resulted in public humiliation infront of the platoon. His cry for help was heard but never acknowledged, only mocked. If anything, it increase the mental punishment that was placed upon him, until he could not take it any more.
There are many questions regarding the circumstances of his death. If it had not been a death on military property it probably would have resulted in an indepth investigation. So many clues, so many mysteries, so many questions but no answers forth coming. Am I still in denial? Yes, I probably am. Do I have grounds to doubt? Yes, I do believe I do. But my doubts are in the jurisdiction of the military which means they will probably remain unanswered.
So, imagine my dismay when my oldest son announced his decision to join the Army. I had actually encouraged him, saying that it would do him good, but once the reality of him going through the same training Nolan did before he ended his life sank in, old wounds were reopened and created fresh fears. What if Gabe stumbled like his friend did? What if the same thing happened? What if he had to deal with the same uncaring and incompetent people? When I voiced my fears, people tried to comfort me by assuring me that Gabe would never do something like that. Neither would Nolan.
Gabe had his moments, but his memory of Nolan kept him driving on. When he saw fellow soldiers falter and show signs of weakness, he would step in and help them out. He encouraged the weary, he patiently tutored the slow. He persisted with his own demons and obstacles. I don't waste too much time on 'coulda, shoulda, wouldas' or 'if onlys', but boy, but I wish Gabe could have been there with Nolan, for Nolan. As fate would have it, he could not be there. But he was there for his fellow recuits, and that was just as important. Fate served the new recruits through Gabe's memory of his friend and his fate.
The sad anniversary of Nolan's death will soon be upon me. I rarely sleep during the month of August. And now I must also deal with the knowledge that my son will soon be placed in harms way to secure a distant country for its people, from its people. I am filled with both pride and fear. There is a little shadowy corner in my mind that I dance around and refuse to peek into for fear of what I might see. I can't allow those thoughts. An online friend recently went through the unthinkable and her grief only increased my own fears. I have felt the heartbreak of the loss of one very dear young man who was as close to my heart as my own son. That is more than enough pain for a lifetime. This will be a difficult month for me to get through, I often have to force the smiles during this time, and the end of the month, the 29th... is always the hardest.
I refuse to ask my son for his deployment date, but my heart sences its approach. One day at a time.
Here is an article written about the life and death of Nolan. I still have not been able to read it in its entirety. I found some of its graphic descriptions too much to bear. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, or at the very least, the lessor of two evils.
5280 Magazine - June/July 2004 - Private Stites Should Have Been Saved
I went shopping yesterday and grabbed some Special K cereal bars for my morning meal. I'm not really a breakfast person, but I'm trying to get healthy here so I'm trying to start a routine. Cereal bars seemed like a good start. So anyhow, I get home with my little prize and decide... hey, lets try these little puppies out and see how they taste! It was Peaches and Berries... mmmmmmmmmm! I should have read the wrapper. If I had, I would have seen that the bar only weighed .81 oz. Then I wouldn't have been surprised when I ripped open the packaging and revealed this teenie tiny bar that couldn't be but maybe 1x3.... inches that is! Its not even a full ounce for crying out loud! It has maybe the equivelent of 3 spoons full of cereal. But.... it did smell amazingly good, and after I scarfed it up in 4 bites, I was surprised to admit that yes, I was satisfied! And so I give my unpaid and unofficial product endorsement to Kellogg's Special K cereal bar, light (.81 oz!), satisfying and only 90 calories! Shoot, come to think of it chocolate cake would only be 90 calories if you cut the serving down to a 1x3 inch slice! Yah know what... I may be on to something there.... diet breakfast chocolate cake!
I got some coffee creamer while I was shopping.... LOTS of coffee creamer. And the real stuff, with all the fat and sugar and carbs a growing body needs! Dickidoo keeps buying the Fat-Free and Sugar-Free stuff. He acts like its an accident, but I know better! He wants me to slim down so he can play with my 'super-model' body. Yeah, well, buy me a membership to Curves, but don't mess with my coffee creamer! In the mean time you better get used to my Super-Sized-Model body, cos its not going any where any time real soon. I read somewhere yesterday that I'm 'volumptuous', not fat! I like that... volumptuous! It sounds like a loaf of soft bread, fresh from the oven... with lots of butter dripping over the top! Okay, you know what, this cereal bar is not cutting it. I need more coffee!
I took Zack out driving yesterday. Now theres a scary thought... Me instructing another person how to drive! Be afraid! Be very afraid... to drive on the streets of Colorado! Hahahaha! He did pretty good until we got to the parking lot and he took out a dozen or so 'imaginary' cars and trucks parked near by while trying to park and reverse from the parking space over and over again. But thats okay, they were 'mini-vans' and 'Avalanches', they deserve to be hit, even if its just hypothetically.
Rocky decided she was going to bake cookies ALL BY HERSELF! She wanted to make biscotti, but I told her I would have to help her with that one since it involves a hot baked good and a long knife. She was still in the mixing phase when she came over to me and said 'Mom, I think I accidently put in 1½ cups of baking soda instead of 1½ teaspoons.' WOW! I tried not to laugh but that was a major mistake. I could have let her go ahead and bake and taste them just so she realizes just why it is so important to be accurate with the ingredients... you know, like what happened to me and my biscuits.. and let me just say that I've never made THAT mistake again... but she was trying soooo hard. Unfortunately she had already mixed the baking soda in with the flour, and that was the last of it. I sent her next door to borrow some from my neighbor and friend, and a short while later... tasty success!
Dickidoo played racketball after work... for the first time in about 10 years! Before he left at lunchtime with his clothes and racket I reminded him to stretch before playing, drink lots of water and to make sure there was an EMT on standby. He called later and my first reaction was "Are you okay? Do I need to pick you up from the hospital?" Yes, he was fine, but he wanted money to buy some beer, which he really REALLY needed! Later, when he had revived, he laughingly admitted that he had found rust on his racket. What, no cobwebs?
And what about me and my exercise routine? You know what they say about it being the thought that counts. Well, I 'thought' about it, and thats what counts!
The Oompa Loompas were in rare form this evening and Dickidoo looked across the dinner table to voice his condolences to me for having to put up with them all day long during the summer.
'Have them go out and pull weeds tomorrow,' he suggested.
'What? And pull up what little green there is in the yard? Are you nuts!' I couldn't believe Dickidoo would suggest such a thing. But then I had a wonderful idea. 'Hey, lets have the kids pull the weeds out of the NEIGHBORS yards and replant them in OUR yard!' Bad idea, the neighbors don't have any weeds. We already have them all!
I got in touch with a long lost friend this evening. We used to go crabbing and strawberry picking together in Virginia, we'd turn over couch cushions looking for coins so we could buy a 3 liter jug of Carlo Rossi wine (the good stuff, with a screw on cap so you can keep it fresh in between glasses!) And she was there when my boy Zack was born (Dickidoo was still on the plane flying in from Germany), I thought she was going to knock out a nurse or two because of the stupid mistakes they were making while I was in labor. Ah, those were the days. And she still sounds the same after 18 years, how does she do that?
I spent almost an hour this evening looking for a crawfish who had gone AWOL from its tank in Rocky's room. I think it was the one named 'Gumbo'. Or was it 'Jambalaya'? Hey, they all look the same to me. I finally found it under my computer desk, believe it or not. It was safe, it got a taste of life outside of the tank which may deter any future excursions and we got Rocky's bedroom floor all picked up during the search. I'd say all in all it was a good evening.
15 more days until school starts!
We ended up having the crawdads for supper instead. By that time it was so dark outside that we had to eat inside because there are some little surprises on a crawdad that you might not want to eat accidently in the dark! The traditional guidelines states that you should allow approximately 12 crawdads per person. I do believe I ate enough for maybe 2 or 3 people! If you've never tried a crawdad before, they're kind of like a cross between shrimp and lobster taste wise, but the flesh is much more tender than either. I like mine dipped in butter and hot sauce. Some of these guys were so big that we could even eat the meat from the claws.
Art and his best friend were scrounging up money so they decided to sell... Great Ideas! ($1.00 a piece). Rocky talked them into a discount so they sold her a great idea for a quarter. Their great idea for Rocky... 'Buy another Great Idea!' I made them give her a refund.
My brother called yesterday. He should find out today if he is re-enlistable. I've got my fingers crossed because he really wants this. He's really worked hard so far and even lost 40 pounds since February! Goodness, I wish I could lose that kind of weight but that would involve exercise and maybe even a diet.... I'm a little light in the will-power department. And sadly, no, it won't be Gabe's unit he would be attached to if he does make the cut, but my nephew's (who is in the Army Reserve Basic Training Camp even as I type this). Thats still great so I've got my fingers crossed.
Gabe called also. He's really trying to get some kind of leave before he deploys and is hoping that Zachary's mother will let him bring my grandbaby over for a visit. That hope keeps my fear of his upcoming departure somewhat at bay. I slept 6 hours last night. I think thats the first time in weeks that I've had a good night's sleep.
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