Look, its South Park Dorn. Make your own South Park character by clicking here South Park (thanks to J. Scalzi for the fun link). No, I don't care for the show, but this link is really pretty cool, and its a pretty good likeness if I do say so myself.
Only 25 more days until Christmas. Have you gotten your favorite Dust Bunny Diva a present yet? Besides Dust Bunnies, I also collect Coca Cola and Corona graphics, and sparkly, flashy .gifs. And MONEY! 
Hmmm, it seems those ads at the top of the journals have been trying to send cookies out to the readers. Dickidoo was reading this journal when he got a cookie alert from one of the advertisers. He was not pleased. I guess that was partly my fault. When I changed my 'About Me' text recently, I included the line 'visitors welcomed, bring cookies'. Needless to say I've changed it to read 'Visitors welcomed, bring chocolate'.
Do you hear that AOL? Tell those advertisers of yours that my readers don't want their cookies, so they should send chocolate instead. Not cookies but CHOCOLATE, got it? I'm not too picky but Belgian or Swiss would be nice.
My blog is worth $51,373.14.
Just for gits and shiggles I ran the report and the Dust Bunny Club is currently worth $51,373.14 . Plus I'm getting close to my 40,000 hit mark. No wonder AOL wants to advertise here, the Dust Bunny Club is prime real estate! I ought to send them a bill for the privlege of advertising on my blog, maybe $14.95 for 10 hours of advertising time a month, or $25.00 for unlimited advertising time.
I wonder if I can use my journal as collateral for a loan. Knowing my luck, some suit from the IRS will read this and increase my property tax because of my blog's value. Yep, everybody wants a piece of the pie!
Over the years I have noticed that there are a lot of misconceptions about the female menstral cycle that I would like to clear up now.
* A woman cannot cycle at will. She cannot not 'start' just to spite you, although she may take advantage of the timing on occasion.
* For the average woman her cycles starts around the same time each month and lasts for approximately the same duration of time. Think of it as football season, and one week out of the month are by games... every month, every year.
* Anger is not a guaranteed indication that a woman is on her cycle. It is always possible that she is upset because you have done something ignorant or insensitive. Suggesting that she might be on her period based on her angry disposition , however, will probably only serve to escalate the situation. Even if she IS on her cycle, it is not advised that you mention it.
* Except in extremely rare cases, a woman will not bleed to death during her cycle, so you may as well get up from your couch-vigil, cancel the increase on her life insurance policy, cancel your trial membership to the Happy Widowers Club and get used to it.
* Be careful what you wish for. Menstral cycles are replaced by menopaus, but thats a whole different subject.
* Hey, Becca is giving a dead turkey a massage! (Rocky watching her older sister preparing the bird)
* I'm peeling the biggest potatoes so I can have a LOT of mashed potatoes! (Art during spud duty)
* I guess it tastes okay, if you like the taste of that stuff the dentist puts in your mouth. (Rocky, upon taste testing her cranberry salad)
* Son of a dookie! (Dorn when she knocked the pot of burnt giblets onto the floor)
* Quarter! (Rocky, upon hearing Dorn after she dumped the giblets onto the floor)
* Watch over our son and brother, and all of our troops in harms way, and bring them home safe. (Steve during grace. A place was set at the table for Gabe although he was thousands of miles away).
* The turkey is the best part of the meal, and yet I'm eatting everything but turkey! (Becca, trying to decide her favorite dish).
* You're like this bottle, everything above the neck is just air! (Art teasing Becca about her dark-blondness).
* I'm exploring why God made my mouth so big! (Zack after being scolded for stuffing a huge amount of turkey into his mouth).
* WOO HOO! (Dorn and Dickidoo after Broncos kick winning field goal during overtime against Dallas Cowboys).
My Thanksgiving day has already had a great start. Gabe was online earlier so Dickidoo and I got a chance to talk with him. He had a nice meal with all the trimmings. The highlight for him was fresh pecan pie, washed down with Dr. Pepper. How I wish we could have shared that meal with him.
He says he's 'over it', but I don't think one ever really gets 'over it', they just do what they have to do to move on. The tragic loss of a friend is hard to get over, but it is vital that he move on, for his own safety and sanity. He has grown up so much in such a short period of time. All of the warriors have. I am thankful that they have each other to depend on, for protection in times of danger, for strength in times of weakness, and for friendship in times of loneliness.
The Oompas are cooking today. Rocky has already made the fresh cranberry salad. It was from a recipe shared by one of my customers, and it is absolutely lucious! It might not make it to the dinner table. The others will do the turkey, the dressing, the fresh mashed potatoes, the giblet gravy, and the angel biscuits. I want them to experience the entire scope of the tradition.
To include the washing of the Thanksgiving dinner dishes afterwards!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. Thank you for allowing me to share my life with you. Thank you for sharing yours with me.
There is a new washer and dryer on the market and I want one! Its the LADS (Laundry Advanced System), the military's new field laundry system. This miracle machine can wash AND dry the laundry of 500 soldiers in 20 hours, using only 400 gallons of water! I wonder if it has a 'kids' cycle, where you could throw in a bunch of Oompa Loompas with dirty clothes on and an hour later they come out all washed, bathed and dried. Oh the potential of such a machine.
I WANT ONE !
Late last night, just as I was preparing to sign off, an email popped into my mailbox from Gabe. I was so happy to see it being as it had been over a week since I had last heard from him. But my joy was very short lived. One of Gabe's friends had been killed a few days earlier.
I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt reading that email. I read it over and over, hoping that I had misread it during the previous times, but the words remained the same. Yes, Gabe was there at the time. Yes, he is fine, and safe, or at least as fine as a young man can be after experiencing the tragic death of a very close friend, and as safe as one can be in that region of the world. I tried to write back to Gabe with words of condolences, of shared grief, words of comfort, but I couldn't think of any. The thoughts that kept popping into my head were more along the lines of 'Oh my God, that could have been Gabe, Thank God it wasn't!'
I sent an email back to Gabe as soon as I found the ability to type, and miraculously the phone rang almost immediately after. It was Gabe. The relief was instantaneous. He sounded so different, and so sad. I just wanted to take him in my arms like I used to do when he was little, back when a hug and a kiss would make the hurt go away. It would not work this time, and I knew it.
He says he is fine. He asked us not to worry. I promised no such thing. He promised to be careful. Steve asked him what he wanted us to send him. He said lots of food and ... ravioli? Hahaha! Thats my boy!
It has been a week since AOL unveiled its dastardly plan to turn Hometown AOL into a big Spamorama. In an effort to keep up with the other generic ISP portals, AOL has sacrificed members services and satisfaction for advertising $$$. Mine, and every AOL journal and homepage now sports flashy ads tempting the readers with home loans, 2 for 1 sub sandwiches, and yes, even AOL 9.0 (spam edition!) Good golly, if you're going to force ads on peoples' personal blogs you could at least put on ads that have something in common with the blog. For instance, if BOA was to pull my credit report they'd probably pull their ad off my journal before it even finished loading. And AOL... well, I hear that lately their members-relations has about as much people skills as a potato peeler. I think I'll pass on that for the time being as well. Now if you really want a clickable ad for my journal that will have my readers coming back for more, try getting Charmin to sponsor the space. After all, I am one of their biggest investors! Or beer! Heck, I'll even contact Corona myself!
You may have noticed that my title has grown a little since last week. I've added a disclaimer to the end to insure that my readers know and understand with all clarity that I had absolutely nothing to do with the placement of the ads on the tops of my journals. Nor do I approve of them, and the disclaimer will remain there, to be viewed in every entry along with the ads until AOL either removes the ads all together, or offers an acceptable compromise.
And thats all I have to say about that!
Rocky: I hope you get diarrhea.
Becca: I hope you never get sick so you don't ever get to miss any tests at school!
Rocky: I hope Jacob comes back and has a new girlfriend.
Becca: I hope you NEVER have a boyfriend!
(Please Mom, say we were never that bad!)
I just got off the phone with Gabe. I'm still laughing. I was telling him that my friend and her beautiful Army Reserve daughter were planning on sending him a letter, and how the daughter was going to spray it with perfume. Gabe was excited about that part because he really likes the daughter.
"And then they would address it 'From Bubbah', so if the guys in the mailroom start laughing and pointed to you, you'll know why." I warned.
"Oh no, that would not be good," he said, "Tell them not to do that, that would be bad." He was silent for a second, then said: "Tell them if they send me a perfumed letter and put Bubbah as the sender, I will send them a pair of my underwear. And I would make sure I wore it for a week before I sent it so it would be all smelly and dirty! And I would sign it 'From Gabe'."
Hahahahaha! I wonder if I should warn them?
When I was a little girl I thought my dad was the most handsome man in the whole wide world. Looking at his old pictures I still believe he was. He was in the Navy and spent most of his time on submarines or sub tenders. I loved when he wore his uniforms, especially his dress whites. I still think of him every time I smell Old Spice aftershave. I am privileged to have a wonderful ongoing relationship with my father. In fact he is one of my loyal Dust Bunny readers.
Happy Birthday Dad.
Happy Veterans Day.
Memorial Park, Colorado Springs, CO
A Pittance Of Time (click on title for video)
Written by Terry Kelly © Jefter Publishing - SOCAN
They fought and some died for their homeland.
They fought and some died, now it's our land.
Look at his little child; there's no fear in her eyes.
Could he not show respect for other dads who have died?
Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who went over.
In peace may they rest, may we never
forget why they died.
It's a pittance of time.
God forgive me for wanting to strike him.
Give me strength so as not to be like him.
My heart pounds in my breast, fingers pressed to my lips,
My throat wants to bawl out, my tongue barely resists.
But two minutes I will bide.
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who went over.
In peace may they rest.
May we never forget why they died.
It's a pittance of time.
Read the letters and poems of the heroes at home.
They have casualties, battles, and fears of their own.
There's a price to be paid if you go, if you stay.
Freedom's fought for and won in numerous ways.
Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls all over.
May we never forget, our young become vets.
At the end of the line,
It's a pittance of time.
It takes courage to fight in your own war.
It takes courage to fight someone else's war.
Our peacekeepers tell of their own living hell.
They bring hope to foreign lands that hate mongers can't kill.
Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time,
For the boys and the girls who go over.
In peacetime our best still don battle dress
And lay their lives on the line.
It's a pittance of time
In peace may they rest,
Lest we forget why they died.
Take a pittance of time.
IOU
Okay, there, are you happy? I've already given the country my first born son, what more do you want? Actually I offered my second and third born sons as well as both daughters but our tax preparer just laughed at the time. I don't think he took the offer seriously back then and gave us the bill instead.
So here it is, almost 2006 and we're still paying back taxes for 2004. I am trying to comprehend why I am having to work and earn an income (which is also taxable) so that I can afford to pay taxes on my past income. I think its about time for another tea party.
My eyelids are sitting in my lap. I don't have enough strength to lift them. My thoughts are a blurred mess. I can barely type. Life is in slow motion. I sniff the air deperately for 'the best part of waking up', but all I smell is last night's supper and dirty socks. My cup is empty. My coffee pot is bone dry. I followed Dickidoo around this morning like a pathetic puppy, with an empty coffee can in my shaking hands. He said to 'sniff it'. Hahaha! Very funny Buster! Besides, I sniffed all of the lingering aroma out of it yesterday. He left the house laughing. Wrong answer! That does it, I'm eloping with Juan Valdez!
Update: My marriage has been saved. Dickidoo has wired me some $ for coffee. I'm off to the store for some Folgers.
(Dust Bunny Revelations)
A sneeze is like a little mini orgasm of the nose. But a wet sneeze is just a hand full of snot!
Good bye dear Dickidoo, we knew you well.
Too bad you didn't realize that when your wife says 'We're out of coffee', it wasn't just a casual observation but more of a danger alert at which time the proper course of action would have been to replenish the coffee supply and bring the caffeine level back to normal. Laughing was NOT the appropriate response.
And when your son, who is the only mens size 9 in the house, blows out his only pair of shoes... a replacement pair should be secured BEFORE disposing of the old pair so as not to disrupt the peaceful flow of the school morning routine.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I believe that everyone can change the course of their own life. I believe that everyone can take steps and precautions to prolong their life. For instance, Dickidoo can probably avert an untimely demise if he were to bring home a can of Folgers this evening. Its that simple!
As a child I was a tomboy, so naturally my only brother was my best friend. George was born a year after me, but was already taller than me from the time from the get go. We got into so much trouble together all through high school. I have been bitten by a dog twice in my life. Both times he was responsible. The first time I ever cut out of school was with him so we could visit the Arizona Memorial. I remember how both stood there looking down into the water at the sunken battleship as our tears mixed with the water of Pearl Harbor.
And he will probably kill me if he ever finds out that I have posted his 'bozo' picture online. Hehehehehe! Happy Birthday Little Brother! Love you!
Do you remember me mentioning Chili Cheese Fritos in an earlier entry? I never did find them. This is why:
Comment Alert:
"Where are my Chili Cheese Fritos, I know they're around here somewhere in all this mess."
Try 'in your sons room in his dresser in plain site?'
Comment from draklinglow - 11/6/05 2:13 AM
Zack, dude, you are SO BUSTED! And there better be an Oreo Cookie shake with those fritos when you pay up!
My feet are mad at me. They hurt. I've been standing on them all day. My butt misses my sofa. My eyeballs miss my eyelids. I am totally pooped! I'd forgotten how tiring working for a living could be.
Zack had me drop him off at Applebee's on my way back in from lunch this afternoon. I was his ride in to work, but he would have been 2 hours early so he decided to have lunch there. He took me out to lunch on Thursday. We had planned to have dessert afterwards but were too full at the time. He decided to make up for it today, mostly just to rub it in my face because I had to return to work. He had an Oreo Cookie Shake, and made sure I knew about. I stole his name badge and made sure he knew about it also. I held it for ransom and he couldn't clock in for work until he promised to buy me an Oreo Shake later in the week. Ah, the power of being a parent! But he forgave me later when I gave him a Star Wars promo button. He still owes me a shake.
My house isn't getting any cleaner. I can see that my 3 days off will be spent washing dishes, laundry, and picking up. (I can almost hear Dickidoo's eyes rolling in his head when he reads that part!) I see quite clearly now that my children are not being taught the fine art of 'initiative' at school. Hey, don't look at me... if its hereditary its not coming from MY side of the family! The dirty dish fairy is hung over, the dirty laundry fairy ran off with the garden gnome, and the Dust Bunnies have completely taken over the house now that the vacuum has gone MIA. Calgon, take me away! Oh wait, that soggy something is still in the tub... Captain Morgan, take me away!
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