I am voluntarily unemployed. Some people would see it as laziness, or the inability to hold a job. On the contrary, I wanted to stay employed, and my bosses wanted me to continue working for them, but family priorities come first and I must consider what is best for the kids before I consider what is best for me. I miss my paycheck. I miss my friends. I miss interacting with people my own age. But the benefits to my children were immediately evident. Zack graduated, Art and Becca pulled their grades up, and Rocky made phenominal improvements. I do not have any regrets.
Dickidoo on the other hand may disagree. I'm sure he hoped that along with being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) I would also fulfill the role of HW (House Wife). Well, I'm his wife, and I live in our house, but thats about as close as it gets. I hated cleaning while I was employed, and I still hate cleaning now. I have managed to keep the dishes caught up, and I love having time to experiment and prepare hot, full course meals on a regular basis. Anything other than that sucks with a capital S U C K S !
There has to be a better name to describe my role in society now. Housewife is so outdated, and quite frankly it just doesn't fit. SAHM sounds so... military, like I should have to report to some drill sgt. or superior officer. I am not a domestic engineer, I am not a homemaker. My job is to provide a stable environment for my family to thrive in. I have no degree or formal education. My training has all been on-the-job. I am a doctor, a nurse, I am a teacher, a preacher, a couselor, I am a detective, a law enforcement officer, judge and jury. I am a magician, a story teller, an artist and a musician. I am a culinary wizard and a nutritionist. I am a philosopher, a psychologist and an analyst. I am an umpire, referee and mediator. I demand fairness and yet I often practice blatant blind loyalty in regards to my offspring. I am a gentle caregiver and yet can turn into a protective grizzley when my children are threatened.
So what am I? What name, what one word can best describe me and the millions of other women like me through out the world? What am I? Tired comes to mind. But seriously I am just being maternal. I am a mother, plain and simple. There needs to be no fancy title or silly acronym. The pay sucks, but the benefits are fantastic and definitely worth it. I couldn't think of a better job to have than being a mom ! (Except maybe a quality control specialist for Godiva Chocolates.... mmmmmmmmm!)
Godiva Chocolates (hint, hint!)
I have often refered to my youngest daughter as 'Mini Me'. She has developed my humor, my sarcasm, unfortunately for me my temper and most unfortunately for her... my allergies! Too bad she hasn't quite refined my ingenuity. Rocky, dearest, if you're going to use a pen to scratch the hives on your back, make sure you don't use the end of the pen you write with, okay sweetie? Just a thought.
So.... Dickidoo and I joined a bunch of friends at Looneys for the late showing of Jac Rene, the hypnotist. You may recall we went to see him perform last year and Dickidoo attempted to be hypnotized, but being the control-type-freak that he is, he was unable to relax enough to go completely under.
If I were to compare Zack's life to a book, I would choose 'The Little Engine that Could'. For him school has been an uphill struggle right from the get-go. He over came a severe speech impediment, he dealt with bullies and an apathetic school that had not yet taken a stand against bullies. He battled ADD and depression. And when we were almost sure that he would not make it, he stepped up to the plate and dug his heels in. Zachary did not graduate with honors, at least not with scholastic and academic honors. But there is much honor in his graduation and all that he has accomplished in what has been the biggest hurdle in his young life. He has proven time and time again that even when faced with almost certain failure, it is still possible to succeed. 
The school just called me a little while ago. It seems Zack still has a couple of books out and they will be holding his report card and diploma ransom until the debt is resolved.
Today is my son Zack's last day of school. He graduates on the 16th of May. It was close, real close, but he pulled it off and will be walking across the stage with the rest of his class to receive his diploma. He has aspirations to become an accountant, but he's a gifted artist and I hope he will continue his training in that area as well. He's so intelligent that he can do anything he wants to, the trick is to find something he wants to do. He has inherited the best from his parents, but he has also inherited our worst. He is talented but a slob, he is intelligent but lazy. (I think that pretty much qualifies him as a certifiable genius.) He's perfectly perfect in my eyes! 
After a wonderful home cooked Mother's Day brunch the family took a drive up to the mountains. We ended up at the spot where we scattered Steve's father's ashes many years ago. Before he passed away, Ron, who loved the mountains but had been unable to visit them due to his deteriorating health, asked to have his ashes scattered up among the trees. After he was cremated we drove aimlessly looking for the perfect spot to scatter his ashes. We drove for what felt like hours with heavy hearts until Steve spotted two large birds circling the top of a hill. He pointed the truck in their direction and we ended up here. The two eagles circled the peak of the hill as if beckoning us. Steve and Gabe hiked up with the ashes and after saying a few words spoken from the heart, they scattered the ashes into the four winds. When they returned from the hill, the eagles disappeared into the heights of the sky. This place has remained special to us for we know that Ron is now a part of it.
My relationship with my mother has evolved over the years. As a child she was my hero. She could take meager leftovers and somehow turn them into a meal fit for a king. She was a Stay At Home Mom and didn't drive a car, but that didn't slow her down. Even when my dad was out to sea with the Navy she would pack a lunch and take us walking, or load us on a bus and go on an adventure. I remember that she had the most beautiful singing voice and even as I got older I was never too old to listen to her singing lullabyes.
I spent the entire day out of the house today. Rocky had the day off from school so we went to the Zoo. That is always fun. Unfortunately like so many other days recently it was also damp. Rain is good though. It quenches the earth, fills the reservoirs and drowns the pollen. I really didn't start showing any allergy symptoms until maybe a hour ago so I guess the rain must have stopped.
May I introduce to you, my Significant Other. This is him as a baby. He still looks the same although the doctors at the time all insisted that it was just a temporary condition and that he would eventually outgrow it. (they LIED!) Fortunately for the kids they've all taken after ME! Okay, that may not be fortunate, but its definitely the better of two evils. For as much grief as that man has put me through, he has been my pillar of strength when I faltered. Sometimes I get so frustrated because I think he doesn't understand or appreciate me, but then he does things like surprising me with the camera of my dreams because he actually did understand some of my dreams. Of course now I'm spending all my time outside taking pictures and the house is still a mess... that he doesn't understand, but he's been patient so far. By the way, no, I didn't take this picture, how could I? I would only have been 2 years old when it was taken. Actually I was there telling him to 'move this way' and 'hold your head that way'. This is one of my favorite shots of him, and have used it for an earlier post.
Yesterday I went to the store and spent $300 on groceries and various household supplies. Included in my purchases was a 24 roll package of toilet paper. I knew for a fact that there was an unopened 4-pack in my bathroom, but it never hurts to have extra. So imagine my surprise when I squat later on in the day and discover that there is no paper in my bathroom. No 4-pack, no 24-pack, nothing! And even later still, I ducked into the upstairs bathroom, the largest bathroom with the huge closet where we store all of our supplies. Upon discovering that there was no paper on the holder, I duck-walked to the cupboard and lo and behold, it was bare! Once again I was forced to pick the scraps off of the discarded rolls. What are these kids doing with all the toilet paper? I'm serious, its not like they use it! Goodness knows I've seen enough pee-punch sans the Charmin to know that many visits to the throne are not followed up by a swipe of sqeezably soft quilted squares. I think I'm going to have to take drastic measures and start rationing, everyone will get their own roll, and if they use it up before its time for distribution of the next roll then they'll just have to do the duck-walk and hunt for scraps like I do everytime I need to use the restroom.
Posts
