Saturday, December 29, 2007

I GOT A NEW CAR... SORT'A

Big Red's steering is shot and Dickidoo is tired of fixing my truck.  He decided to put the old Ford out to pasture and got me a new car.

A used new car.  An itty bitty teenie tiny car that I almost have to squat to get into.

But it has a working heater and power steering.

Never try to drive a new used car to work at 4 am in the morning without taking it out on a test drive first... in daylight. 

I wish I had thought of this yesterday.

I didn't know where the windshield scraper was so I pulled out my employee discount card to scrape the frost off of the windshield.  I was immediately impressed by the fact that I didn't have to climb up and lean over to reach the windshield.  I just leaned over and might even have been able to defrost the far side of the window as well, if my discount card didn't decide to snap in half.  Grrrrrrrrr!

With frozen fingers I felt around for the key hole in the door.  After considerable fumbling I found it and unlocked the door.  I fell into the car and slammed the door, struggling against the automated seat belt that strapped me back against the seat.  With a deep breath I leaned forward and tried to find the ignition.  I felt around on the steering column in the dark but couldn't find anything resembling the ignition slot.  No problem, I'll just turn on the interior lights.

Just as soon as I find them...

Okay, maybe I'll open the door since the dome light pops on automatically when the door is ajar. 

Great, not only does this new used car not have an ignition or interior lights, it doesn't have a door handle!

I had half a mind to call Dickidoo and wake him up so he could open the car door for me.  In fact I was in the process of flipping my phone open when the back light of the display lit up the tiny cab of the car.  Ah hah!  There's the ignition.  And the door latch!

I was 11 minutes late .  I would have been even later but I clocked myself going 60 mph on a 35 mph street.  I can tell how fast Big Red is going by the vibrations.  The Tracer doesn't vibrate.  To be honest I don't think the speedometer works, there's no way I could have been going 60 mph down the street and still been 11 minutes late for work.  Was I really locked in the darkened car for that long before figuring out how to turn the darn thing on?

Getting out of the car after work was a whole new challenge.  I had tossed my jacket on the passenger seat beside me and grabbed it before getting out of my seat belt.  The automatic seat belt disengages when the door opens and I found myself tangled up in the seat belt as I tried to get out with my jacket.

Did you know that long hair in a itty bitty, teenie tiny car with automatic seat belts generates a heck of a lot of static? 

Did you know that Medusa drives a slate blue Tracer?

Tomorrow I think I will give myself a few extra minutes to get to work.  11 extra minutes should do it.

I already miss Big Red!

The Tracer has a working heater (yay!) and power steering, but Big Red has class, and style, and oh so many great memories!  I don't see why we have to get rid of her, just because she's old, and her heater doesn't work, and she's a little hard to steer...

Please Dickidoo, don't get rid of Big Red, pretty please?

12 comments:

inquestoftruth said...

This was such a cute entry.   You have a really nice journal.
~Meg

swmpgrly said...

poor Big Red

wumzels2 said...

good to see your humor is back, dorn.  i missed it.  but i understand why it left for awhile.

even though i voted to keep big red, unless one of the kids wants to work on it, or you want to fix it up to give to one of them, i really feel it needs to go........sigh.

sorry,

regina

sdoscher458 said...

I voted to keep too, but I did that out of loyalty to Big Red. That's what Joe calls his too..Big Red. Be careful in an itty bitty teenie tiny too small car please...love, Sandi

rdautumnsage said...

Sounds like our truck, we are pushing it as far as it will go. Hopefully we will have a replacement in another month or so. It gets bitter cold driving around in NY with 20 degree weather and no heater. Wishing you a wonderful, loving New Year all the year long. (Hugs) Indigo

angelztchr said...

Have a wonderful new year and be sure to check out my newest post! I have mentioned you! ~G

shininggoober said...

Happy New Year Dorn.  Big Red is a legend isn't she?  Why would anyone want to get rid of a legend?  You've got kids coming up that would learn a lot from fixin' her up!!  Congratulations on having the kiddos nearby.  That's so wonderful!  

glensfork4 said...

I didn't get this alert....Oh, I am so sorry about Big Red...it sucks getting used to a "little" car....I know been there done that. I went from a Dodge Durango (once upon 7 yrs ago) to a crappy 4 door Olds.....still have the Olds....still wish for the Durango....

Michele

dhga30047 said...

I have a Saturn SL2...love the car...but now it's hard to get out of..lol  Angel, my car, is in her 11th year and in great shape, but she rides low.  My husband hates riding in her, he said it feels like he's riding a skate board and his knuckles are gonna drag the ground.  I'm looking into getting the Saturn Vue.  

princesssaurora said...

Hey girlfriend... just thinking about you all...

be well,
Dawn

deshelestraci said...

Just stopping in to say hi!  Wondered if I missed an entry.
Traci

astaryth said...

Hey... just checking in. It's been a while since you posted, but I figure with all the kids and the holidays and all you've just been all tired out (in a good way!) HOpe all is fine in the land of Oompa.....