Big Red's steering is shot and Dickidoo is tired of fixing my truck. He decided to put the old Ford out to pasture and got me a new car.
A used new car. An itty bitty teenie tiny car that I almost have to squat to get into.
But it has a working heater and power steering.
Never try to drive a new used car to work at 4 am in the morning without taking it out on a test drive first... in daylight.
I wish I had thought of this yesterday.
I didn't know where the windshield scraper was so I pulled out my employee discount card to scrape the frost off of the windshield. I was immediately impressed by the fact that I didn't have to climb up and lean over to reach the windshield. I just leaned over and might even have been able to defrost the far side of the window as well, if my discount card didn't decide to snap in half. Grrrrrrrrr!
With frozen fingers I felt around for the key hole in the door. After considerable fumbling I found it and unlocked the door. I fell into the car and slammed the door, struggling against the automated seat belt that strapped me back against the seat. With a deep breath I leaned forward and tried to find the ignition. I felt around on the steering column in the dark but couldn't find anything resembling the ignition slot. No problem, I'll just turn on the interior lights.
Just as soon as I find them...
Okay, maybe I'll open the door since the dome light pops on automatically when the door is ajar.
Great, not only does this new used car not have an ignition or interior lights, it doesn't have a door handle!
I had half a mind to call Dickidoo and wake him up so he could open the car door for me. In fact I was in the process of flipping my phone open when the back light of the display lit up the tiny cab of the car. Ah hah! There's the ignition. And the door latch!
I was 11 minutes late . I would have been even later but I clocked myself going 60 mph on a 35 mph street. I can tell how fast Big Red is going by the vibrations. The Tracer doesn't vibrate. To be honest I don't think the speedometer works, there's no way I could have been going 60 mph down the street and still been 11 minutes late for work. Was I really locked in the darkened car for that long before figuring out how to turn the darn thing on?
Getting out of the car after work was a whole new challenge. I had tossed my jacket on the passenger seat beside me and grabbed it before getting out of my seat belt. The automatic seat belt disengages when the door opens and I found myself tangled up in the seat belt as I tried to get out with my jacket.
Did you know that long hair in a itty bitty, teenie tiny car with automatic seat belts generates a heck of a lot of static?
Did you know that Medusa drives a slate blue Tracer?
Tomorrow I think I will give myself a few extra minutes to get to work. 11 extra minutes should do it.
I already miss Big Red!
The Tracer has a working heater (yay!) and power steering, but Big Red has class, and style, and oh so many great memories! I don't see why we have to get rid of her, just because she's old, and her heater doesn't work, and she's a little hard to steer...
Please Dickidoo, don't get rid of Big Red, pretty please?