Wednesday, March 12, 2008

PRE-SENIOR MOMENT

Being ill for an extended period of time has its benefits.  I stepped on my scale, you know... the one that I love so much even though its broken (or maybe because it is broken!) and I have managed to keep my weight down to 140 without any additional dieting or exercise.  Unfortunately the uncontrollable coughing spells had me investing a small fortune in the feminine napkin industry for the past month.  Being a pre-senior didn't help and I found myself being introduced to many other age related inconveniences and truths that I suppose I shall now have to get used to.

Pre-Senior.  Kind of like a pre-teen, only older.

When was the last time you took your measurements?  You know, chest, waist and hips?  I took mine a few weeks ago for custom fitting on a dress I purchased on ebay.

I am still traumatized.

Remember back in the day when a woman would proudly announce her measurements for anyone within ear shot... 36-24-36.   That was like the perfect hour glass figure.  I wasn't perfect when I was in my teens and early 20's.  I was pleasantly plump as my mother used to say so delicately (Love you Mama!)  I was more like 34- 29 - 38, more of a pear shape.  Yeah, yeah, I know, I had a big butt.

No I didn't!  I would LOVE to have a 38 inch butt now!  My chest sports a measurement that based on its sheer size alone would excite the average man if it were not for the fact that it is located much lower on my torso than before and is only pert and perky when its cold.  My waist has since blended in with my upper and lower body and is identifiable only by my navel.  It doesn't exactly cinch in like it used to.  Was I really only 29 inches once upon a time?  I think my figure would now be describes as... a melon.  A plump, lumpy, bumpy, over ripe melon.  You know the kind... pale and a little squishy on the bottom.

I find consolation by stepping on my worn out old scale.  It still reads 140 for me.  That's actually 1 pound lighter than I was when I got married 24 years ago.  There is much comfort in that knowledge.

No, I will not fix my scale.  You know what they say, "If it ain't broke,don't fix it, and if you like it better broken, don't fix it then either!"

Who would have thought that being a pre-senior would be just as stressful as being a pre-teen.  I'm getting too old for this junk! 

I wonder if that measuring tape stretches?

5 comments:

chat2missie said...

You mean it doesn't get any better for us?  LOL
Missie

lazarai said...

I'm glad you found something good about being sick, Dorn!! At age 50, I, too, am seeing lots of changes. I remember when I USED to think 140 was heavy!!!! LOL

Would you believe I even got my first SENIOR discount the other day.....who knew, Beall's dept. store considers Seniors to be anybody 50+!!! GAH....I almost didn't admit it, but the 20% off was too tempting. LOL

Oh well, if misery loves company, you got it!!!

Hope you feel all better soon,
:) Carol

princesssaurora said...

Oh boy... you are back and posting and I have been missing everything!

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

cmarlow480 said...

LOL JO......... about the Maxipads

Another tip JO.... if your having *THAT TIME OF THE MONTH*

lol.. Head over to HBA and pick up some DEPENDS.. LOL.. You never have to worry about the pad slipping or getting nasty underpanties lol you just take the diaper off and put on a new one and LOL go about your day hahahahahha!


<3
Christopher

http://journals.aol.com/cmarlow480/ChristophersJournal

monponsett said...

I'm only 105 or so... but it bothers me, because I was about 90 pounds in college (I'm barely 5 feet tall).

No... my friends don't have any sympathy for me, either.