Thursday, February 8, 2007

SGT. MAJOR DAD

Dickidoo was in rare form this morning, banging on doors and barking orders to the kids at O'dark hundred.  Even as I tried to make a phone payment he was at max volume into his 'rise and shine' speech that almost resulted in a set of keys to the side of his face as his ranting was picked up by the automated phone operator and interpreted incorrectly.  Lucky for him I was able to correct it.  Had I had to start the whole transaction all over because of his tirade there would have been an ignition key in his ear and the house key up his nose.  I do not like making those automated phone payments and do not take kindly to having to repeat them.

Zack walked by and farted during that call, long and loud.  He's lucky Miss Roboto on the other end didn't hear it and punch in the wrong information or he would have had a set of keys sticking out of his face as well.  He did that on purpose, I know he did, I could tell by the way he and Dickidoo sat there snickering as I tried to concentrate on the call.  Grrrrrrrr.......

I worry about the family during my upcoming trip.  I won't be there to protect them from each other.  I won't be able to interpret teenagers to Dickidoo and reason with him.  I won't be able to support his decisions when the Oompas unfairly decide that he is being unfair.  I am afraid I will return home after 9 days of blissful exile to find that all of the Oompas have been  grounded until they're 40 and Dickidoo suffering from PTS on the couch with his eyes bulging and the veins in his forehead ready to burst.

Hmmmmm... I may need to stock up on a couple more Mai Tais while I'm in Hawaii so I'm in the right frame of mind to deal with that when I get home... cos I'm sure not going to worry about it there.

For those who are planning on sneaking away with me in my suitcase... well, I don't have a suitcase, so you'll all have have to squeeze into a backpack and duffel bag.  The plane leaves on the 20th at 11:55am from the Colorado Springs Airport.  Bring your bathing suits, I hear the water is fine!

12 comments:

jckfrstross said...

have fun :) i hate days like this

Deb

princesssaurora said...

Don't worry about it Mommy... they will figure out how to survive with each other.... And, you will be showered with love and appreciation when you get home!!

be well,
Dawn

squirrellywoman said...

Don't kid yourself! They're gonna party up! Well, at least till maybe the day before you are due back.

glensfork4 said...

Sorry about your morning...UGH, I hate days that start like that. I have had my share!!
I guess I will have to skip the Hawaii trip...I sure wish I was small enough to get in the "bag" but I am not! I do hope you have a great trip and have an ice cold Corona for me would ya?
Michele
http://journals.aol.com/glensfork4/these-are-my-thoughts/

quiltsnroses said...

Hmm, could it be that subconsciously hubby is reacting to your being gone before you have even left?  Me thinks it will do them all some good to miss ya a little.  

mzgoochi said...

God, I hate being on those phone calls and having to repeat things over and over, or getting stuck in spanish. Everyone will be fine and they'll miss you.

Love, Lahoma

PS- steal me something cool off the beach for my fish tank. :)

midwestvintage said...

 Have fun and take pictures.  I haven't lost enough to fit into the duffel, darn.  

                Julie

cmarlow330 said...

LOL I love how you just change paragraphs and talk about your sons " BODILY GAS" thats hilarious I sad here and chuckled outloud and here it is at 12:03 in the morning CST... LOL

dang Jo... CS is to far from where I am at in Texas.. LOL I would never make it there in time...... Im on the OTHER SIDE of freaking texas closer to Arkansas and Louisiana.. lol SNAP... plus your gonna be on a different island from where I lived... I lived in Honolulu County.. lol dang again!

lol.... hope I get a post card * wink * lol hhehehehehehe


<3
Christopher

deshelestraci said...

Oh man, sounds like my house.  Far less children but the same dad!  Mine thinks that my 3 year old does things just to make him mad.  Sometimes she does but most of the time she is just being 3.  Lighten up boys!
Traci

kidzmakeucrazy said...

sounds like a good plan, I'd go, but I have a feeling i'd get amnesia while there and not know where to return too, lol, have fun can;t wait to hear all about your vacation, and lol, what they do while your gone......

have fun, MISSY  

hestiahomeschool said...

Oh, I am envious...I have never left the kids...I am afraid they would kill each other and then leave the carcasses to rot...

dimundntheruf69 said...

I loooove this journal...
glad I happened upon it...
I kept noticing your link on other peoples pages and decided to check you out...
I'm glad I did...I needed a fun journal to read...
thanks...
~christie