HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!

                            

I'm not Irish, although I have been called an 'evil little leprechaun' before... a dig, no doubt, about my slight height imparity.  My dad says we have Irish blood in us... somewhere along the line.  It probably bled out the last time I nicked myself in the shower shaving... who knows.  I don't really feel Irish although I have a passion for corned beef and cabbage... and eat them more than just once a year.  However... every year, on the 17th of March, I deck myself up in green to commemorate Saint Patrick... mostly to avoid getting pinched of course, but still within the spirit of the occasion.  So, assuming that the Irish really are lucky... may the luck of the Irish be with you on this day... and may you avoid any evil little leprechauns!

MAMA ALWAYS SAID...

'BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR...', one of my mother's favorite saying.  I used to wish for bigger boobs.  The teenaged me would stand infront of my bedroom mirror, doing my breast enlargement exercises while chanting "I must, I must, I must increase my bust!" It didn't work at the time and I graduated from high school with a reversed posture as I tried to accentuate that which was not there.  Who knew the exercises were time-delayed and would later sprout in the autumn of my life?  So now, as I curse and squeeze, holding my breath to relieve some of the pressure on the over stressed buttons of a poorly manufatured blouse, I acknowledge and accept the irony. 

I am, however, hopeful for right about the same time as my wishes for a bountiful bosom I was also wishing for a bountiful bank account!

DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE!

AOL has a little piece on bedbugs and mites on the welcome screen, which got me to thinking about my own personal encounter with bedbugs. 

As a child I always used to sing 'Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite', but it never made any sence to me.  In fact I've sung it to every one of my children just before they went to bed.  My youngest daughter still insists that I sing it with her even now... but now... it has a different meaning to me.  Now I know what it feels like when the bedbugs bite!

It was about 4 years ago.  One of my husband's friends had just separated from his wife and was living in a camper on the side of our house.  When our anniversary came along this friend, who had bonded immediately with the children, volunteered to watch the kids over the weekend so my husband and I could spend the weekend out of town.  We had never had such an opportunity and jumped at the chance.  Dickidoo immediately made reservations for 2 at the hot springs. 

The hotel was far from being a 5 star... in fact it was far from being a 2 star hotel, but it had a hot spring and that was what we were there for.  It was fabulous to soak in the natural steaming water (in a somewhat un-natural pool constructed of concrete and imported rocks), while the ground around us was covered in snow.  And our wet hair would freeze in the cold air.  It was magical, and so relaxing.  We spent every chance we had in the soothing waters.

But at night.. and we spent 2 nights there... we would cuddle in the queen sized bed and talk about our lives together.  Little did we know that we were not alone.  I didn't think too much of the bites on my arms the first morning.  By the morning of our departure my arms, legs and torso were covered with bites... itch bites.  The bites were small, they never really swelled up like mosquito or flea bites, but they itched incessantly and would continue to do so for weeks.  Curious about the cause of the bites, I did a quick search and discovered that I probably should have performed the 3 minute search BEFORE booking the room for our anniversary get-away... the hotel had been reported several times for problems with bedbugs!

So anyhow... now, when I say 'don't let the bedbugs bite...', I mean it!  Because I know what it feels like and its no fun!  Plus, seeing what they look like and knowing that they had been crawling all over me, feasting on me like ticks while I was... uh... sleeping... yeah... while I was sleeping... ewwwww!  Thats the stuff nightmares are made of!
Bed bug [Picture] - World Book Online Reference Center (American English)

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SNOW

How do you find my house in the wintertime?  Just follow the footprints in the snow!

ITS GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS...

I jumped into the shower this morning and wet down my hair, but when I reached for the shampoo it was gone.  We have 3 bathrooms in this house, with a million bottles of shampoo, half empty, half full, complimentary hotel samples, millions of them, but when anyone needs to wash their hair, they have to take MY shampoo.  All that was left in my shower was the hunting shampoo, so once again I must go to work with squeaky clean hair that smells like DIRT.  Thanks kids... remind me to have a dozen more children so the fun never runs out!

I bought a new shirt last week.  Its a pale turquoise.  I love turquoise, I love this shirt.  My boobs are too big for this shirt.  But I must wear it today, so I found my full girdle, you know, those old lady one-piece bra and panty things that suck you in, push you up and squeeze you just on the edge of suffocation so you can fit into something that is probably 2 sizes too small if you were really honest with yourself?  Yeah, that thing!  Well, I don't know what happened but I think I need a girdle to fit into this girdle!  I don't remember it being this hard to get into, and Lord help me when I need to go to the bathroom!  I have all day to figure out how I'm going to get it off.

Speaking of 'old lady' things, I just got my eyes checked and was given the wonderful news that I need bifocals!  I was also given a prescription for contact lenses, but if I wear the contacts, which correct my seriously bad distance vision, I won't be able to read up close and will have to wear reading glasses.  Well, that didn't seem to bad of a deal... until I put on a pair of reading glasses of the strength the Dr. recommended... and they magnified my eyes... I looked like ET.  I think I've finally distinguished the difference between growing up and growing old.

It snowed yesterday, and last night.  Its still snowing now, big soft white flakes.  The neighborhood is covered with a blanket of white.  Except for my yard.  Did you know that snow doesn't stick to dirt?  Well, now you do.  While all the yards in the cul de sac are pure white, my yard sticks out like a sore thumb, brown and dusty, a pile of barren , used dirt surrounded by a virgin snowfall.  I'm almost wishing for a blizzard just so my yard can look as beautiful and tranquil... but with my luck the snow on my yard would melt and I'd have a mud pit.  Well, at least the snow is sticking to Big Red, and she looks beautiful!

PMS & POVERTY

I took Rocky and Art with me in my attempt to catch the elusive kingfisher at the Pelican Pond.  As expected he was a no-show and after listening to Rocky's painful rendition of a dying duck using one of her duck calls, we decided to go in search of another photo opportunity.  One the drive out to the base where I knew a wonderful sunset shot awaited us, Rocky decided to share what she had learned during her recent sex education class.

Rocky:  My teacher says girls get PMS and boys get Poverty.

Me (trying not to laugh):  I think you mean Puberty.  Boys usually don't get poverty until they grow up and get married.

Rocky:  Whats Poverty?

Me:  Thats poorness.

Art:  Girls go through puberty too.

Rocky:  Huh uh!  Girls have PMS.

Art:  Yes they do.  Puberty is when your hormones change, your body changes and you start growing hair all over your body.  Hair on your chest, hair on your armpits.  I even have hair on my butt!  But I don't have hair where I want it... on my lips.  I think I will transplant the hair from my butt to my lip because I don't need hair on my butt.

I'm sure he meant facial hair, like his older brothers have... but I left that one alone!  Ewwww!

Kit Carson Statue, Fort Carson, Colorado

10 THINGS I HAVE DONE .... that you may not have.

1.  I held a VW bug up all by myself.  Actually I was lifting it with my brother and his friend and they let go... the bumper landed across my thighs but I held it up so the guys could grab some toads that had been hiding underneath.  I wore the bruises like medals of honor until they faded.

2.  I infiltrated a high security government installation to investigate reports of paranormal sightings.  Okay, not really, I sneaked in the back gate of a military installation and drove to some old bunkers that were rumored to be haunted.  My first visit was after midnight with no ghostly sightings, however blood stains were seen on the ceiling of the bunker.  A later visit in the daylight proved that the blood was merely catsup splatters.

3.  I came face to face with a black bear in the woods.  And I was terrified even though I had a gun!  No, I didn't shoot it.  I tried to hand my husband the gun but he wouldn't take it, he just kept singing 'I'm not scared of a big ole bear, my woman has a 30.06!'  Obviously the bear wasn't scared of us either cos he just kept munching away at something in the bushes and we were able to put a safe distance between us. 

4.  I touch about $100,000 a day.  Unfortunately its not mine.

5.  I almost fell off of a submarine.  It was Family Day at my father's base and we got to visit the submarine that he was stationed on.  I stepped on to it, walked where I shouldn't have and slipped.  I don't know if I was really close enough to go over the side, but to this day I swear that sailor who grabbed my arm  saved my life.

6.  I almost drove a car off a cliff.  Seriously!  I took a hairpin curve too sharp and had I been going a little faster, or braked a little slower I would have gone over the edge of a 50 cliff.  The tire stopped right at the edge.  I believe a railing is now up on that portion of the road, but I've not driven there since.

7.  I've been in the Girl Scouts AND the Boy Scouts.  I was a cadet and then a leader in the Girl Scouts.  I was in the Explorer Scouts, which is a co-ed division of the Boy Scouts and later became a leader, I volunteered as a cook at many of the Boy Scout campouts and would fill in as a drummer for the Order of the Arrow dance team.

8.  I was a human pincushion.  I fell into a hidden crack in the ground and was wedged upside down in the crevice that was laced with cactus roots... I managed to turn upright but I was in way over my head and the earth was too soft to climb out of.  My friends found me when they spotted my florenent orange hat poking up out of the grass... I had thrown it up as a marker to catch their attention.  My body was covered with cactus spines, mostly on my arms and face.  My son pulled about 72 spines out of one of my arms before he lost count.  I had to use duct tape to get the fine spines from the roots out.  I was still pulling cactus out 4 months later.

9.  I have been admitted to the hospital 9 times in my life.  The first time was after my birth, and 5 other were for the birth of my children. 

10.  I have never been treated for a broken bone.  I think I broke my tail bone while roller skating, but I was too embarrassed to go to the doctor so that one doesn't count.  I might also have broken my nose, but then I might have broken it a year later and it straightened out.

GUESS WHO'S HOME!

Well, that was her before she went into surgery, but she's okay now.  I got to drive her home from the shop tonight and it felt so good to be back behind her wheel... she just purred!  For that matter so did I!  When I parked her in front of the house I gave her a big hug and a kiss.  Really... there are lip prints on the hood!  Ah yes, life is good!  I love my Big Red.

JUROR #0

Two weeks ago I received a jury summons.  Most people would freak out and frantically look for reasons to get out of pulling jury duty, but I WANTED to go!  The instructions said to call the night before to find out if I was needed to appear.  I called last night and held my breath in anticipation as the recording blurted out the pre-recorded message.  And then it said it... the numbers of the jurors who must report... and my number fell within the group that had to report!  I was ecstatic!

I was also sick!  However, being the loyal citizen that I am and eager to do my civic duty, I was up bright and early this morning, even though I felt like something the road crew scraped off the asphalt the night before... I had jury duty!  Visions of Judge Judy danced through my head and I just flew right on past the court house!  Dang, I looked for a place to turn around at and was just about to do a perfectly executed U-turn when I saw the No U Turn sign!  Its a good thing I saw that when I did cos you can bet there were a dozen uniformed officers licking the Krispy Kreme off of their fingers as they watched from their parked squad cars all along the road.  Not today buddies!  I could just see it now... me showing up late for my summons because I got pulled over for making an illegal turn right infront of the courthouse.  Yeah, they'd book me right there and assign all the other jurors to MY case!

Well, I turned into a parking garage just as if I had intended to go there all along and started walking back to the courthouse.  Unfortunately I had driven in one side and walked out the other side so I was completely turned around!  I walked almost 4 blocks to get to the building right across the street!  And then, once in the building I had no clue where to go!  How can you get lost in a 4 story building?  I don't know, but I did it!  Finally I found the room I was supposed to be in, filled out the paper work and waited... 2 hours later they released all but 20 of us.  I was not one of the 20.  I suspect the judge had seen me walking in circles outside the courthouse, and then going up and down the hallwayinside and made a point to find out who I was because anyone who was too stupid to find their way from the parking lot to the building and then to a clearly marked room on the 4th floor wasn't going to serve on HIS jury!  Boy, I hope he wasn't watching when I left... because I just backtracked and retraced my original route.  Well, at least I know where to go if I get summoned again next year! 

HEY WAIT A MINUTE.....!

I just did a Technorati search on my Dust Bunny journal just to see how many other journals might be linked to mine, and on the right hand side of the screen was a list of sponsored links.  The theme was toilets.  I thought.... how odd that they would choose toilets as a featured sponsor.  I then pulled up a search for my other journal, Bloggers Anonymous... and by that time the sponsored link had changed to computers and laptops.  Ah, thats more like it, and it went well with the theme of the journal.  Hmmmmm, coincidence?  I quickly switched back to the results of my Dustbunny journal and sure enough... the toilet sponsors!  I waited for the links to change to the computer list but it didn't.  It stayed on the toilet links, like it was permanent.  Hey hey hey!  Thats not funny guys!

And speaking of toilets, I still feel like kaa-kaa.  Thanks for the get-well wishes.  I am actually feeling a little bit better after a good night's rest.  I didn't have any lemon to make hot lemonade, but I did have some ruby red grapefruit juice, so I added a shot of vodka and followed it up with a Niquil chaser and slept like a baby!  I'll be going in to work this morning because we're so short staffed but if I don't start feeling better its going to be a short day for me.

OH NO, NOT AGAIN!

I don't believe it... I'm sick again!  I think that bug that went up my nose yesterday was the flu bug because I feel like kaa-kaa!  Dickidoo is feeling pretty lousy, and so is little Rocky.  The flu has hit this town like a ton of bricks.  Well, at least I'm getting sick while I still have sick leave to pay for it.

Still no word on Big Red.  Dickidoo went down to check on it on Friday and it was still in pieces... so much for 'just a couple of days'.  Thats okay, I'm in no mood to go joy riding right now.  I've already got folks at work asking to take the truck out for a spin ... why?  I mean, I love Big Red cos its my truck... but why are they getting so excited about my pickup... she's not even a new truck... she's a '92... but she's classy, I have to admit that!  The Bonneville has been good to me, but its time to get the F150 back under my butt!  Well... maybe next week... when I'm feeling better. 

My mom used to give me hot lemonade sweetened with honey when ever I got sick as a child.  I used to marvel at how it could always make me feel better.  I later learned that it was only partly due to the soothing effects of the honey and lemon... The real magical cure was in my mom's TLC.  I sure could use some right about now, but there's no time to be sick when you're a mother and a wife.  I'm off to tend to my other patients.

TIRAMISU and the snot-rocket

Question:  What is 'tiramisu'?

Answer:  Its delicious!  Actually, more specifically... its an Italian dessert made from ladyfingers soaked in expresso and/or one of many liqueurs (I like armaretto), and layered with a very light but very rich mocha flavored cream custard and dusted with cocoa or shaved chocolate.  It is my biggest, most sinful weakness. 

Today was my early day, which meant that I went in before 7am, but got off before 4pm.  It was absolutely beautiful outside and I drove home with the car windows wide open.  While I was at the intersection waiting for the train to pass... a bug flew up my nose!  It probably didn't intentionally fly up my nostril... no bug, no matter how tiny its brain, would be THAT stupid... but apparently it flew a little too close and got sucked up when I inhaled.  I freaked out and started snorting and picking at my nose, trying to either blow or dig it out.  And wouldn't you know, with all the trash in my car there was not one single napkin!  I could feel the bug's frantic fluttering as it also tried to escape.  I held my breath because the one thing I didn't want was to suck the bug into my lungs any more than the bug did!  As a kid I used to have nightmares about flies going into my lungs and breeding and its still a phobia of mine.  I tried to launch a snot-rocket like I'd seen Dickidoo do so many times, but I blew a dud.  I blew again, this time against my fingers.  Something landed and I wadded it up and flicked it out the window without waiting to inspect the contents.  I performed a couple experimental sniffs, and satisfied that my nasal passage was free of any winged invaders I settled back into my seat to wait for the railway crossing barriers to be lifted.  Ah, what a beautiful day!  Suddenly feeling like I was being watched, I looked across the car and out the passenger window.  The driver in the car next to me was staring right at me... LAUGHING!  The light changed right at that time and I zoomed into the intersection, putting as much distance as I could between me and the hysterical driver.  I don't even want to know what he thought I was doing.  I hate bugs!

YET ANOTHER SURVEY (I love these things)

1. First name: Jody

2. Were you named after anyone:  I was named after my sister's friend, who just so happened to get hit by a truck.  He didn't die or anything like that... but as a child I really resented that I was named after a boy.  Actually after 3 girls my mom was really hoping that I would be a boy.

3. Do you wish on stars: Yes, but just for fun.  I've learned that if I want anything I have to go out and get it myself... or at least hint really hard infront of Dickidoo.

4. When did you last cry: I'm a cry baby... I cry at movies, I cry during the news... I cry at good-byes.  I cried last night when I read a newspaper article about my oldest sister and her first meeting with her biological father.

5. Do you like your handwriting: I do not have a consistent style of writing, it kind of changes with my mood, but yeah, I love my handwriting, its one of the few things I've retained from all my years of schooling.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat: Deli sliced pepperoni!  When I was a kid I loved balogne with mustard and pickles.

7. What is your birth date:  September 13

8. What is your most embarrassing CD: No such thing!  I still enjoy all of my old favorites.

9. What nationality are you? Okinawan on my mother's side, Irish, Pennsyvania Dutch and a bunch of other stuff on my dad's side.

10. Are you a daredevil:  Yes, some what.  My kids tend to challenge me into doing things that I never would have when I was younger.

11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell: Maybe as a child... but I can't remember.  As an adult... never.

12. Do looks matter?  Nope, but it doesn't hurt!

13. How do you release anger: I have to make a lot of noise when I'm angry.  Once I've vented I'm fine.  I'm very forgiving.

14. Where is your second home: My work place!

15. Do you trust others too easily: Yes, my husband says I'm a terrible judge of character, but I trust everyone until they give me a reason to distrust them.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child:  My toys never lasted a week past Christmas.  My favorite things to play with was probably cardboard boxes, toilet paper rolls and empty spools.  I'd play for hours with them.  My favorite doll was a GI Joe doll that I kidnapped from my brother.

17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless: Algebra!  I couldn't understand what 'abc' and 'xyz' had to do with math.

18. Do you have a journal: No, I don't have 'a' journal, I have 'many' journals.

19. Do you use sarcasm a lot:  I have a very sarcastic personality.  It wasn't appreciated when I was a teenager, but most people who pick up onit think I'm funny... so long as the sarcasm isn't directed at them.

20. Favorite movie(s):  Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

21. Would you bungee jump: NEVER!

22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off:  Yes, my mom was real strict about that.  I make my kids untie their shoes too.

23. Do you think that you are strong: I am physically strong although my wrists are weakening from arthritis.  Mentally I have learned strength from my mother and then from my own experiences as a career military wife.

24. What is your favorite ice cream flavor:  Vanilla

25. Shoe size:  7 1/2 - 8 (depending on the shoe)

26. What are you favorite colors: White, black and turquoise.

27. Whatis your least favorite thing about yourself:   I hate that I procrastinate so much.  I have no will power.

28. Who do you miss most: I try not to waste time missing people.  I miss my son but I'm glad he is making his own life happen.

29. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back: N/A

30. What color pants are you wearing: Olive green (I can't wear my favorite blue jeans to work)

31. What are you listening to right now:  I'm listening to my sons' talking.  Its nice because when they were younger all they did was fight.  Now they are good friends.

32. Last thing you ate: I just had a cookies and cream ice cream sandwich, a bribe from my daughter who wants to get on the computer.

33. If you were a crayon, what color would you be: I would be a white crayon because it can high-light shadows and soften harsh dark colors.

34. What is the weather like right now: Its almost a crime to be indoors right now, its hard to believe it snowed last week.

35. Last person you talked to on the phone: I spoke to my oldest son in Kentucky.  We let him take a cell phone with him so he could keep in touch.

36. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex: I notice the eyes first.  You can tell a lot about a person just by their eyes, are there laugh lines or frown lines?  Do they look you in the eye or kind of wander?  Do they look preoccupied, angry, spaced out, relaxed, suspicious... etc.

37. Do you like the person who sent this to you:  N/A

38. How are you today: I'm fantabulous!  3 more weeks of work and then... Take this job and shove it!

39. Favorite Drink:  Non-alcoholic: Water (seriously!)

Alcoholic: Bacardi Dark and coke

40. Favorite sport: Hmmm, I'm more of a sports fan than a sports participant, I love to watch football most of all.

41. Hair Color: Dark brown with white highlights (natural, of course!)

42. Eye Color: Dark brown

43: Do you wear contacts:  Yes, when I can remember to renew my prescription.

44. Favorite Foods: Steak and potatoes!  And Sushi!

45. Last Movie You Watched: DVD:  Walking Tall  Theater:  A Series of Unfortunate Events (hey, it was a Kids Day Out)

46. Favorite Day of the Year:  Christmas!  I especially love it now that I can celebrate with my children.  I love traditions.

47. Scary Movies or Happy Endings: I love scary movies, but there haven't been any good ones lately. 

48. Summer or winter:  Winter is my favorite, but I love all of the seasons!

49. Hugs or kisses:  Hugs from friends, kisses from loved ones.

50. What is Your Favorite Dessert: Tirimisu

51. Who is Most Likely to Respond:  N/A

52. Who is Least Likely to Respond: N/A

53. Where Would You Want to Go on your Next Vacation:  Alaska! 

54. What Books are you Reading: No time for reading yet.

55. What's on your mouse pad: 'Dell'

56. What did you Watch Last Night: I didn't watch TV last night, but if I did it would have been Fox News, The O'Reilly Factor and Hannity and Combs.

Edited 3/09:  thanks Glopsy, I hadn't noticed that I had deleted #9

(I snagged this survey from Sugar, Spice, and Everything )Nice 

NOW I REMEMBER WHY I CALL HIM 'DICKIDOO'

Once a month it sucks to be a woman.  This is my 'once'.  My whole body aches right now and Dickidoo has been teasing me because he can go into the hot tub but I can't.  When I started whining about it, he just grinned and held up a wine cork.  Thats just wrong!  But revenge will be mine... soon I will have all kinds of time to scheme.  I'll show him where he can stick that cork!  And if he thinks I'm bad on PMS, wait till he has to deal with me with menopaus!  Hahahaha!

GOODBYE GABE... AGAIN! and SAHM?

I said goodbye to Gabe yet again and this time I didn't even cry.  He's passed the big test with basic and AIT.  Now he is going to his first unit... the 101st Screaming Eagles, and he's a Cav. Scout (he's so proud of that!)  The sad part is that I don't know when we'll be able to see him again.  He's really left the nest now... there will be no flying home because he's tired of the job, that is not an option.  I told him yesterday... 'Dang, you're all grow'd up now, its like you're a real man, not just my son but a soldier and a MAN!'  And of course he had to throw in 'And not just a soldier but a Cav Scout!'.  He was supposed to leave for the airport this morning at 5:30 am, he wasn't even packed at that time.  Yep, thats my boy!  You can bet his new unit is going to cure him of that REAL quick!

Less than 4 weeks to go before I become a Stay At Home Mom, a SAHM.  Thats a really weird acronym isn't it?  It looks like it could stand for some kind of missle or weapon of mass distruction.  "Look at me, I'm a SAHM, so watch out!'  Actually I hate the term, it sounds so... lazy! What about School And Home Mentor, or maybe Such A Happy Mother... no, thats a little too sappy for me.  They can keep the silly acronyms... I'm just going to be a full time Mom, I don't need a fancy title or initials for that.  What a rare luxury it is now days for a family to be able to afford to have one parent devote their time to caring for the children.  I just hope I don't gain any weight with my new role!  I barely fit in my skin now!

ITS ALL ABOUT "I", "ME", "MY"

SPOILED ROTTEN!

I was just thinking...  I'm spoiled.  My husband just bought Me an awesome camera set-up so I can finally pursue a lifelong dream, My beloved Big Red pick-up truck is undergoing major surgery even as I type to replace her engine, I have a 2 burner 12 cup Bunn-Omatic coffee brewer that gives Me an unlimited supply of coffee any time I want it. Dude... I have a Dell!  And broadband!  And as of the 26th of this month I will no longer have to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month, 52 weeks a year.  I am married to a man who has learned to admit when he is wrong and yet this man has learned to tolerate Me... just as I am, even when I am wrong.  I have 5 wonderful although at times exasperating children, parents and siblings who still love Me even after knowing Me for 44+ years, and a bunch of friends who are just a whacky as I am.  Yes, I must say, its good to be Me right now.  Thanks everyone for making My life so wonderful and special.  And thank You... Dickidoo... I love You!

AUTO-FLUSH, or 'pee across America!'

Lets take a moment or two to talk about... toilets.  Public toilets to be exact.  Who ever thought it was a good idea to put automatic flushing toilets in public restrooms?  It wasn't me, cos if anyone had asked me I would have asked 'Why bother?  Whats the point?  Its just more fuss over something that could be as simple as pulling a handle... no electricity involved, no sensors to go bad... just good old gravity and water pressure!'.  Well, nobody asked me and 99% of the restrooms we encountered along our trip had the little sensor-activated toilets, several which either flushed prematurely or not at all!  Many didn't even have a visable manual button so I would have to step out of the stall, re-enter... pretend to sit down, and stand up in an effort to activate the flusher.  One toilet must have had a maximum load capacity sensor cos that sucker was flushing before I was even half way done!  So I ask... is it really neccesary?

The kids were pretty good about spacing out their drinks so that we were able to go several hours between pit stops.  There was one time when Rocky thought she was going to pop... and we got her to a rest-stop just in time.  I don't know how long she was in the stall, but she sounded like Austin Powers after he got up from his cryogenic sleep and took his first whiz, she just went on and on and on and on and on!  I had to bang on the door and tell her to save some so she didn't dehydrate... but she still went on and on and on!  'Flush or flood child!  Flush or flood!  Those pots aren't made to hold that much!'

And I found myself on Dickidoo's **** list that very first night!  I had gas so bad that it hurt but like a lady I waited until I was in the privacy of our hotel room before releasing any.  I shut myself in the bathroom while the kids got ready for the pool, and let the herald loose.  I was amazed by the acoustics of the elongated toilet.  So when I stepped out of the bathroom I proudly announced my wonderous finding to my offspring who all burst out in giggles while Dickidoo rolled his eyes at me.  I later found out that he had just been lecturing the children about the inappropriateness of discussing thefiner aspects of flatulations while on a family outing when I burst out of the bathroom announcing that 'Hey, farts echo in this toilet!'.  I think he has finally given up on me, written me off, resigned to the conclusion that I am a hopeless case.  Hey, what can I say?  Farts happen!

I peed in Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri and Kansas all within 24 hours!  Add another 8 hours and you can include Colorado! 

Picture of Kansas state flag flying over rest-stop just across the border from Colorado.

BIG BEER, LITTLE COFFEE

Now normally I would be excited by a 24 oz. bottle of Corona, but not when my coffee pot only holds 4 cups!  And I'm not talking 4 regular cups, I'm talking 4 itty bitty teenie tiny cups! This is crazy!  Who in the world uses a 4 cup coffee pot?  Thats not a coffee pot, thats a coffee cup with a lid!  Ironically it takes longer to brew that mini pot of coffee than it does to brew my mega 12 cup Bunn-Omatic.  And it wasn't just like that in the first hotel... EVERY dang hotel that we stopped at along the way to Kentucky and back again had that Oompa Loompa coffee pot.  One more reason never to leave home again!

PVT. NAVAKUKU, US CALVARY SCOUT

 It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, my son, Private Gabriel Navakuku, Calvary Scout, US Army. 

Now tell me, is that the face of a happy young man, or is that the face of a happy young man!  For the first time in his life he knows what he wants and is willing to do what it takes to get it.  He wants to fly Kiowa helicopters.  His father was in the Air Cav. and earned his spurs while working on Kiowas during Desert Storm.  Once upon a time Steve would have rolled his eyes if I were to comment that Gabe was taking after him.  Now he just beams with pride.

Gabe's first duty station will be in Fort Campbell, Kentucky.  Originally I thought that as part of a new unit he would be locked in country for at least a year, but with current world situations that is not necessarily true.  It terrifies me to hear my son speak with such anticipation of going to Iraq, he has no idea what it is like there, he only has stories of glory that his drill sergeants shared with him.  I cry every time I hear of someone's son or daughter being killed over there.  I dread the day that he may ship off.  Even scarier is the way his younger brothers and sisters look at him with such awe and eager admiration as he talks about his future.  It is hard to be a mother in these times.  It hurts.  And yet, if that was the path they were to choose when the time comes I would support them just as I have supported their older brother.  There will be time for tears later.  Right now we will celebrate.

HOME, SWEET HOME!

GOOD GOLLY!  I thought we'd NEVER make it home!  The entire left side of my butt is numb... and that other side hurts from riding side-saddle in the center of the front seat.  You know what?  That Hemi isn't all that great after all.  Did I say it was big?  I lied!  While it was bearable with 6 passengers, it sucked with 7!

And with the 2300 miles that we traveled, the kids chattered non-stop for about 2000 of those miles!  I discovered quite by chance that a mouth full of teriyaki flavored beef jerky would keep the kids quiet as they chewed on it.  Unfortunately the jerky only lasted about 300 miles.  To be honest I was surprised by how good the kids were.  Oh, there was the usual 'don't touch me' thing going on, but 3 cd players, one dvd player and a bag full of those cheap little handhelf electronic games kept them occupied.

And Gabe... oh my gracious, I can't tell you how proud I was to see him standing there in his dress green uniform.  Steve was just bursting with pride as well.  Our son is a soldier.  No, our son is a US Calvary Scout!  He has grown up so much.  We sent our boy to boot camp and they really did turn him into a man.  Its weird.  Every once in a while I'd get a glimpse of my boy, but it would just be a fleeting glimpse and then it would be gone.  The military suits him.  He is so happy.

I took hundreds of pictures with my new camera.  Really folks, I'm not exadurating.... it was literally hundreds.... approximately 400!  My memory card holds 505 pictures, but I wasn't worried... I downloaded my camera each night onto Steve's laptop, and then into my 515 flashstick.  I was prepared!  Oh the photo-ops that presented themselves as we traveled cross country were unbelievable.  And unfortunately they will remain such for Steve's idea of supporting me in my paparazzi training was to point out an interesting site as we zoomed past at 75 miles an hour.  Most times he would just point, leaving me to guess at what he was pointing out.  Once, just once... he slowed down to about 70 mph so I could snap a picture of a plane parked in someone's front yard.  Yea!  What a waste of an opportunity!  I can see I'm going to just have to go on a road trip all by myself so I can stop any time I want to.

Well, I'm going to shower off the trip, try to untangle my hair and sort through all those pictures.  I know I must have at least a couple good ones in there.

Did I mention how nice it was to be home?  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!