Monday, February 28, 2005

AUTO-FLUSH, or 'pee across America!'

Lets take a moment or two to talk about... toilets.  Public toilets to be exact.  Who ever thought it was a good idea to put automatic flushing toilets in public restrooms?  It wasn't me, cos if anyone had asked me I would have asked 'Why bother?  Whats the point?  Its just more fuss over something that could be as simple as pulling a handle... no electricity involved, no sensors to go bad... just good old gravity and water pressure!'.  Well, nobody asked me and 99% of the restrooms we encountered along our trip had the little sensor-activated toilets, several which either flushed prematurely or not at all!  Many didn't even have a visable manual button so I would have to step out of the stall, re-enter... pretend to sit down, and stand up in an effort to activate the flusher.  One toilet must have had a maximum load capacity sensor cos that sucker was flushing before I was even half way done!  So I ask... is it really neccesary?

The kids were pretty good about spacing out their drinks so that we were able to go several hours between pit stops.  There was one time when Rocky thought she was going to pop... and we got her to a rest-stop just in time.  I don't know how long she was in the stall, but she sounded like Austin Powers after he got up from his cryogenic sleep and took his first whiz, she just went on and on and on and on and on!  I had to bang on the door and tell her to save some so she didn't dehydrate... but she still went on and on and on!  'Flush or flood child!  Flush or flood!  Those pots aren't made to hold that much!'

And I found myself on Dickidoo's **** list that very first night!  I had gas so bad that it hurt but like a lady I waited until I was in the privacy of our hotel room before releasing any.  I shut myself in the bathroom while the kids got ready for the pool, and let the herald loose.  I was amazed by the acoustics of the elongated toilet.  So when I stepped out of the bathroom I proudly announced my wonderous finding to my offspring who all burst out in giggles while Dickidoo rolled his eyes at me.  I later found out that he had just been lecturing the children about the inappropriateness of discussing thefiner aspects of flatulations while on a family outing when I burst out of the bathroom announcing that 'Hey, farts echo in this toilet!'.  I think he has finally given up on me, written me off, resigned to the conclusion that I am a hopeless case.  Hey, what can I say?  Farts happen!

I peed in Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri and Kansas all within 24 hours!  Add another 8 hours and you can include Colorado! 

Picture of Kansas state flag flying over rest-stop just across the border from Colorado.

8 comments:

mumma4evr said...

My son hates those flushers..he is sure they are gonna suck him right down before he is finished...
Becky

cutebutpsycho028 said...

I just had the plesure of the "sensor-flush" experience yesterday so it's funny that you brought it up! I wasn't even done before it was flushing in that all-powerful, suck-the-oxygen-out-of-the-air kinda flush that those kind tend to do. I must've peed too long or breathed too hard or something. But yeah, just another money-making scheme by some guy with some time on his hands and the knowledge that some people are anal about touching the little flusher handles...lol. Now if someone would just come up with a way to make the doors to the stalls themselves open by sensor so we don't have to touch THEM either.... Ha!
~Erika~

glopsblink said...

.::Laughing to point of tears!!!::. Oh Dorn, why'd you have to write this now?! I just started "the girl thing" and it hurts to move let alone laugh as hard as I am right now! I'm literally in tears here, holding my teddy bear Booboo to my tummy to give my poor tummy some relief! Dad's in tears to, and mom's still laughing; it's hard to read this outloud, however, when in tears and holding your cramped tummy with a teddy bear! .::still giggling::.

Blessings you gassy girl!

http://journals.aol.com/glopsblink/ATreasureTroveofGoodies

PS: I know you like Diddleworld graphics, and dad found this site: http://www.diddlmania.com/index_eng.asp It's got the music from Forest Gump in it, and it's so cute. Enjoy!

awen1122 said...

Hey Dorn, where in IL did you pee?  LOL!  I live in IL!!

mykesmom75 said...

i know I hate those things too... You try to squat not to get any germs on you and then those darn things flush and splash water all over you ewwwww!!!! I hate the auto faucets too they hardly ever work and your moving with soapy hand to each sink til you get one that works.......  Too crazy.             * Debbie*

hestiahomeschool said...

Okay, where in KY did you pee....

I envision a Historical marker....Dorn peed Here....

heathyrxmarie said...

LMAO! Dorn, you are hysterical!!
Hugs,
Heather

judithheartsong said...

I always have to laugh when Virginia and I are in a public restroom, and they have those paper seat covers. Virginia goes into a stall, sets her seat cover down, and without fail the toilet prematurely flushes.... washing her cover down the drain. I hear a "GRRRRRRR......." and I know exactly what has happened. It never seems to happen to me.
:):) judi