Thursday, February 10, 2005

CONGRATULATIONS!

I woke up this morning to an excruciating cramp in my stomach.  Just as I closed my eyes and started to drift off again I was hit by another one.  2 minutes apart... oh Lord, I was in LABOR!  I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, breathing in the short little pants that I had learned from my Lamaze instructor.  The contraction passed but returned immediately, not even a minute apart!  I scrambled to the throne and sat with a splash.  Thanks Dickidoo... nothing like a cold water bath to wake yourself up in the morning!  No time to dry off, I got up, slammed the seat down and slid onto the porcelain throne just in time.  Later, I found myself amazed by the fact that I had produced such a marvel, but even more amazing was that I actually thought it would fit down the pipe with just one flush!  It would take 3 flushes and several layers of Charmine to weigh it down before it cleared the Flush-atorium.  I emerged several pounds lighter and with a new bounce to my step.  Ah yes, the pleasures of the morning constitutional!

7 comments:

mom23nca said...

OMG!  I have found my daughter's real mother!!  I always wonder how such things could come out of a person of her size.  

awen1122 said...

LOL!!  Thought you were gonna be editors pick soon enough....maybe not now. LMAO!  I love you Dorn!!!!

mumma4evr said...

ewww!!!!  ewwww!!!  and here I am eating lunch...just ewwww
Becky

plittle said...

You know, there's something not quite right about you...
-Paul

clean1096 said...

Wish I could  do that , may that explains why my hubby always tells me I'm full of it ! ...................LOL !!!! ...............Diane

astaryth said...

<shaking head> Just in case you thought the Editor's MIGHT be starting to consider you!!! <LOL> NOT! But, this is why I look forward to alerts from over here....you just never know what you will find <ROFL>
http://journals.aol.com/astaryth/AdventuresofanEclecticMind

swmpgrly said...

LMAO