ALL TOGETHER NOW!

My knight in shining armor ended up being a neighbor in a white teeshirt.  He had borrowed Zack for an errand yesterday and heard that Gabe was stranded on the eastern border of the state (he wasn't really stranded, he was with friends, but he wanted to come home, and they weren't planning on coming in to the Springs until later in the week... he just didn't want to wait.  What can I say, he has his mother's patience!  )  So our neighbor came over with some $ and told me to go get my son.  (Thanks Jim!).

I filled up Big Red, drove east with the two girls to Burlington and brought my boy home.  Dickidoo didn't get my messages until after 5pm, when we were almost there.  He had been clearing the ranges of any unexploded munitions and had to keep his cell phones off for safety reasons.  'Bombs and cell phones don't mix well', he told Rocky when she scolded him for not having his phones on.  Well, he's definitely got a valid point there!

Its nice to have the family all together again.  We will have 'Christmas in July' this year.  Gabe has been away for the last two Christmases and will be in Iraq for the next two, so he wants to have Christmas with the family before he leaves.  Sounds like fun to me.  And guess what... his potty mouth isn't so potty any more!  He slips up every once in a while, but he is making an honest effort to watch his cussing around the family.  Rocky is the only one whoseems disappointed... the last time he was here she had racked up over $40 in fines from him the first night for the 'Cuss 'n Fuss' fund.  Its been almost a whole day now and I doubt she's collected but maybe a couple of bucks so far.

My Christmas in July present (given to me in June) from Dickidoo... grass!  No, not smoking grass, green grass.  Real live grass!  Actually it was like 23 rolls of sod.  Knowing my curse with growing things, I have been forbidden to walk on the lush sod that now carpets the once bare patch of dirt in front of the front den windows and the porch.  My zero-scaping strategy is still in effect for the rest of the yard.  But oh my, just having the sod in the yard has lowered the temperature in Colorado by at least 5 degrees!

I slept until 10am this morning.  Its amazing how well one sleeps when all of one's children are home.  

Grrrrrrrrrr!

Gabe called from Burlington, Colorado.  He thought he had a ride all the way in to the Springs but things didn't work out as planned.  Unfortunately although I only had a half day of work today, I don't have enough gas nor money to drive the 150 miles to Burlington to pick him up and bring him home for a little r&r.

Enter Sir Steve, my hero and knight in shining armor... he with all the riches of the kingdom.   He who carries two cell phones so his loyal subjects can call him in their time of need.  He who carries two cell phones but keeps neither of them on so that callers have two opportunities not  to be able to get in touch with him.

AGH!

And poor Gabe is stuck in some trailer park 150 miles from home and no way to get here.

My frustration knows no boundaries.

RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL SLIDE SHOW

OOMPAS GO TO THE FAIRE

Zachary demonstrates that there is no future for him as a pirate.  He humored me this time, but his next trip to the faire will be as a Squire.

Art, on the other hand, has no visions of grandeur.  He is now and always will be a rogue pirate.  And look, he's got a jar of dirt!

Last year I posted a musical slide show of pictures I had taken at the Faire.  Somehow the video made its way to the Colo. Ren. Fest. online forum where I was introduced to some of the wonderful cast and crew of the Faire, including the lovely and talented Mistress Charlotte, a face painter/ artist extraordinaire!  Rachel, dressed up as a proper Lady, walked away looking and feeling like a princess.

Rebecca, showing off some of Mistress Charlotte's work, was also a lady for the day.  People kept remarking on her beauty.  Oh, if only they knew!

Nope, we couldn't talk Dickidoo into dressing up.  But that didn't keep him from participating at the faire.   Here he is getting the snot knocked out by a co-worker during the public square pillow fight.

But fear not, Dickidoo made a miraculous recovery and saved the land from the evil young tyrant!

Tags: Colorado Renaissance Festival

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

 There were a few times back in February when my brother, sisters and I sat together in the beach cabin and reminisced about our childhood.  I think the number one thing that most of us recalled was the scent of his after shave.  Old Spice.  I love it to this day.  Little indiscretions were always blamed on an imaginary dog named 'Snippy' who lived under the table.  He was our hero because he would volunteer to eat the artichoke hearts so we wouldn't run the risk of choking on the deadly hairs.  I didn't eat my first artichoke heart until I was married, and when I learned how easy it was to peel the choke off of the heart I realized the genius of my father... all those years eating all those artichoke hearts...  The Oompas, by the way, have never fallen for that scam, dang it!  Happy Father's Day Daddy!

And Happy Father's Day to Steve, the father of my children.  (Hey, they're 50% your fault too Dickidoo, don't you forget it!)

An extra special Happy Father's Day to Gabe, the father of my grandbaby (plus one more on the way, YAY!)

BECCA TO THE RESCUE

I have a confession to make.  I didn't actually add peanut butter to my instant coffee.  I wasn't that desperate.  In fact I didn't even make a cup of instant coffee.  Becca decided that she wasn't going to use the blouse I bought for her the other day so I returned it and got enough money back to buy some Folgers AND hazelnut creamer!  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  All better!  (thanks Becca Bee)

Gabe called last night bearing bad news.  Apparently his fiancee's mother's health is not the greatest so Kim will stay with her mother to help her out instead of moving out here while Gabe is in Iraq.  To say that I am disappointed is an understatement, but I understand Kim's position.  Hopefully her mother's health will improve.  At any rate, maybe I will be able to get out that way to visit after the baby is born.  And then I'll be able to see Little Zachary as well.  Yay! 

Its 6pm and I haven't even begun to cook supper.  It was supposed to be clam fettuccini but at this point its beginning to look more and more like a hot dog kind of night.  And beer.  Yeah, hot dogs and an ice cold Corona.  Now that's "whats for dinner!" 

Hmmmm, I wonder if there's any place in town that delivers hot dogs and ice cold Coronas.

Finally, my day off!  Dickidoo is at work, the Oompas are all still in bed.  The house is silent.  Lovely!

I have been digging through piles and piles of laundry for the past couple of days.  We will be going to the Renaissance Festival this weekend (HUZZAH!) and I need to take inventory of what we have and what I still need to acquire.  The boys are easy, they'll just grab what ever they wore last year and they're good to go so long as I braid their hair.  The girls on the other hand are both physically and mentally incapable of wearing the same outfit two years in a row.  (Shame on me for even suggesting it)  This year Rocky wants to be a dragon something (?)  Her outfit MUST be purple, it MUST have a corset of some sort which MUST be pointy in the front, and she MUST have wings and horns.  Yeah, okay, no problem.  I'm sure Walmart has something like that in the Jr. Missy summer wardrobe collection.  (NOT!)  Becca will be easier to outfit I think.  She just wants to be a gypsy dressed in black.  We already have the skirt so we only need to come up with a blouse and all the trimmings.  Oh, and of course she MUST have a corset.

Dickidoo, who is usually pretty game about these kinds of things, refuses to let me dress him up.  I offered to sew him a pirate's shirt but he's as obstinate as I am lazy, so he gets to wear a  tee shirt and I have one less sewing project to worry about.  Me... I'm going as a medieval hippie!  I know, hippies didn't come around until centuries later, but the dress is perfect, except for the hippy paisley bandana print.   I know what it needs to make it more Renaissancy, a corset!

We'll be taking some friends along with us.  This will be their first time at the Faire.  They have two small boys and a little girl.  I get to help outfit them.  What fun, I'm so excited.  Its almost like when the Southern Oompas were here.  (Awwww, I miss my little Southern Oompas!)

I've heard from Gabe again.  We're looking at maybe late July for a visit (with family in tow?)  His fiancee is due in late September.  Hopefully she will be here in Colorado and settled down in an apartment by then.  They still haven't decided upon a name yet.  She has turned down all of Gabe's suggestions so far and has threatened to name the baby 'Riot' if he doesn't come up with a good one before the baby is born.  I wasn't too sure about 'Riot' as a name, but you know what, the more I say it, the more I like it.

A letter came in the mail the other day from the high school.  They are holding Art's report card hostage until we pay $350 for the marching band uniform he allegedly never returned.  First of all, I saw him roll the uniform up, still on the hangers and in the dry cleaner's bag, and stuff it in his back pack on the last day of school so I know he returned it.  And secondly, I already know what his grades are (its pretty bad!) so they can keep the dang report card for all I care, I DON'T WANT IT!

I ran out of coffee grounds yesterday, as well as hazelnut creamer.  I have 52 cents in my debit account.  (maybe I went a little shop-happy in preparation for the Faire... maybe just a little bitty bit).  I could ask Dickidoo for a loan, but he's a little bit (HUGE) ticked off at me because I disagreed with him (gasp!) about something last night.  I can only imagine how long my rap sheet must be by now, probably MILES long.  Oh well, I guess I'll dust off the jar of instant coffee.  Hmmm, I wonder how peanut butter tastes in coffee?

STILL HERE...

Sorry folks, didn't mean to worry anyone.  I've just been under the weather these past two weeks.  I'm still congested in the chest but feel much better.  I probably would have been able to kick this bug sooner but I wasn't able to take any sick days due to scheduling so it was business as usual and I would be totally exhausted by the time I got home.  Today is my second day off in a row.  For the most part I have just been resting in the den.  It has paid off and I am feeling almost back to normal... except for that loogie that is resting just outside of hacking range, grrrr!

Summer is in full swing.  The Halls of Loompa are strangely quiet as most of the Oompas have migrated to the homes of others who still welcome them.  Its just a matter of time before all of the Oompas and their friends return here and start hanging out in their own domain as their welcome is worn out else where.  I don't mind.  I'm used to a million kids calling me 'mom'.  I just wish the Oompas would befriend a neat-freak who would adopt me and clean my house.

Did I mention that one of my photos was finally published?  Okay, so it was only a high school year book senior picture that one of my self-adopted son's asked me to take, but it came out really nice and looked just as professional as any of the other pictures.  And yesterday I got an email from a birding journal asking to use one of the pictures I took of the red tail hawk and the bull snake for a future issue.  How cool is that!  I'm so excited!

Gabe's deployment has been pushed back, which is good in a way, but it means he will have to extend his enlistment which he was hoping not to have to do.  I'm still hoping to get his fiance and her kids out here before then.  My second grandbaby is due in September.  What an awesome birthday present that would be to be able to hold my new grandbaby on my birthday (September 13, hint hint!)  Better yet... BOTH grandbabies!  Come on over and play Zachary! 

JUST A LITTLE 'AWWWW' MOMENT

I just noticed a note on the top page of a scratch pad left by one of the Oompas.  It reads....

I ♥ U
MMMY

How sweet is that.

THE BEST LAID PLANS OF DUSTBUNNIES....

I think it is possible that I was maybe just a little too eager to get the Oompas out of the house.  Perhaps I showed a wee bit too much enthusiasm.  I might have brayed too loudly.  When Dickidoo offered to fill my tank up so I could come up on Saturday (and bring some stuff for them) I accepted because for one... I love the event and really did want to camp out, and two... I'd still have Sunday and Monday to myself.

Becca had the cooties. 

And now I have the cooties.  Thanks Bec.

At first I thought my throat was sore because I was singing at the top of my lungs on the 1 hour trip up the mountain.  John Denver and Pavarotti have that effect on me.  By Sunday morning it was painfully obvious that these aches and pains were not caused by my Rocky Mountain caroling.

I have the fricken flu! 

And one of the things I had to take up on Saturday... the turkeys for deep frying?  Well, guess where they were on Sunday morning.  Yep, on the floor of Big Red, thawing quite happily 1 hour east from where they were supposed to be.  Grrrrrrrrr²!

That was the absolute end to any plans I had made for my little mini vacation.  I went back up the mountain after work on Sunday.  I felt like kaa kaa but it was worth the trip.  Florence Mountain Park is beautiful this time of year, and the people we camp with are some of the most wonderful people on earth.  And my she-devil daughters seem to have temporarily bonded.   I found evidence on my camera after I kidnapped it back of them touching in a manner that does not inflict pain.  This one's a keeper, it may never happen again.  As for the round-trip turkey, well deep fried turkey is just awesome, thats all there is to it but deep fried turkey in the mountains is positively heavenly.  Must be the moutain air that just makes people nicer and food tastier.  We should all live in the mountains.

My hectic schedule really did a number on my already cootie infested body.  I feel like road kill.  I probably look like road kill but at this point I really don't care.  Walking hurts.  Breathing hurts.  My chest hurts, my throat hurts, my muscles hurt.  Even the roots of my hair hurts.  I worked a full day today, but only because if I had called in sick I would have lost the 7.44 hours of holiday pay I got for today.  Fortunately the day passed fast.

I must be sicker than I realized.  While sitting on the pot I realized that I had put my undies on inside out after my shower this morning.   I'm feeling a lot better after some flu medicine and a nice nap, but my Hanes For Her are still inside out.  It can wait.

So now I'm just waiting for the return of the Oompas.  The house still looks like it should be declared a State of Emergency.  I had planned on straightening up but now I'm thinking... why bother when the gang is due to arrive back from camp any moment now and will no doubt drop everything on the floor as they unload the Hemi.

The silence in this big old house is almost deafening.  Can it be that I am actually looking forward to the sounds of Oompas?  Nah... probably not.  At any rate Dickidoo just called.  They'll be home in about an hour and he wants me to pick up something for supper... and BEER!  I must be feeling better because beer sure sounds good right now.  But for now I'm scalding my throat with Folgers.

I hope they bring home some left over turkey.

HURRICANE LOOMPA

I have been cooking like a crazy woman these past 3 days.   Ghostrider Chili (chicken and green chili), hominy with smoked turkey, and elk stew... I've been washing clothes, packing bags, makings lists and checking them twice.  I even emptied my debit account to get the last minute supplies. 

It was 2:45 before they were finally on the road.  They called twice before they were out of town.  I hope I didn't seem to eager to see them off. 

And now, finally, silence through out the 2100 sq. ft. dwelling except for the occasional 'Woo Hoo!'  The place looks like the aftermath of a hurricane but I don't mind.

I ate supper early... some of the left overs from my cooking spree.  Then I showered, a nice long uninterrupted shower.  I lounged on the sofa and watched the O'Reilly Factor without anyone switching channels on me.  Even now I sit in front of the computer in just a camisole and my undies (not trying to be enticing here... trust me, there's nothing enticing about this scene!) smelling like cucumber and melon shower gel, and Aussie shampoo.   I am footloose and carefree.

I look like Medusa.

The Oompas have taken every single hair brush with them to the camp out.

I am procrastinating but I will eventually have to break out the Diamond brand super heavy duty plastic disposable fork and do my hair.

I should have known better.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Written with a heavy sigh.......

Tomorrow is the last day of school.  It's only a half day, as was today, so for all practical purposes my vacation is already over.

Here comes summer... hurrah.

Actually I have a short reprieve.  The family is going to the annual Colorado Springs Muzzleloaders Memorial Day Shoot this weekend.  Being as this is also one of the biggest weekends for the store I won't be going with them to the camp out.  The camp out has always been a highlight of the year for us and naturally I was disappointed at first, but then I got to thinking... after work I would have the house to myself!  HURRAH!

The hot tub is busted, the pool has 1 inch of muddy swamp water under 2 inches of leaves, the trampoline has a hole on one side, my bike (which I have never ridden) has a flat.  No Dickidoo and no Oompas for 4 days and 3 nights.  No one to cook for, no one to chauffer around.  No one to fight over the remote with, no one to share my food with.  No one to distract me from my blogging.  No one to steal my cell phone or shoes.  What ever shall I do with myself?  WOO HOO!

90 days until school starts.

ACCIDENTAL BLING

I'm positively dazzling, and nobody can tell.

I bought a container of Mary Kate and Ashley cosmetic glitter for the girls last year to enhance their costuming for last year's Renaissance Festival.  A little bit goes a long way, and the girls have lousy aim.

Yesterday when I went to the bathroom I found the powder fine glitter coating almost every surface.

When I left the bathroom there was still powder fine glitter coating almost every surface...

Except for the toilet seat.

The powder fine glitter that once coated the toilet seat coated my hiney.

Positively dazzling.

Positively wasted.

Well, not entirely.  Naturally I had to admire my sparkling buns in the mirror first.

24 carat moons! 

THE SCENT OF MOTHER'S DAY

Memories are funny things.  Mine are mostly based on my senses.   My childhood memories of Mother's Day, for instance, is almost completely comprised of fragrances...  Of burnt pancakes for breakfast, and a bouquet of roses, Mama's favorite flower.  It smelled like paper paste and magic markers on construction paper cards, laden down heavily with glitter.  But mostly it smelled like Mama's hugs, Chanel No. 5 and Love That Red lipstick.

I've been a mother for 23 years now.  Funny how little the aroma of Mother's Day has changed over the years.  Now it smells like burnt pancakes and a bottomless cup of coffee extra sweetened with hazelnut creamer.  It smells Elmers glue and gel pens on printing paper cards, or beautiful Hallmarks whose sentimental prose pales in comparison to the individual messages added by the kids.  It smells of of silk flowers and dandilions.  But mostly it smells like Oompas hugs... like hair spray and hair gel, like toothpaste and soap. 

Mother's Day always did, still does, and I hope always will smell like the love between mother and child.  And you can't bottle that!

SOME QUESTIONS ARE BEST LEFT UNANSWERED

I walked into the restroom yesterday and was greeted by a floater.  I am no longer surprised by unflushed commodes but yesterday I was flabbergasted.

Not only was there a floater in the unflushed toilet, but the toilet seat was up...

I think what a person does behind the closed latrine door is completely personal.  There is no real right or wrong way.  There are no instruction manuals or users guides that comes with a shiny new Kohler.  You won't find "Hi, whats your favorite way to drop a load?" on the list of 1,000,000 Most Popular Conversation Starters.

So what really happened there?  My mind reels at the possibility and yet there can only be one explanation. 

Why was the toilet seat up? 

Did someone actually raise the seat and dump standing up?

RANDOMOUS PART 2 (nope, its still not a word)

Coffee Mate has a new flavor of creamer out.  Its called Blueberry Cobbler.  It smells luscious.  It tastes luscious straight out of the container.

The quickest way to ruin a perfectly good cup of Folgers is to put a couple of scoops of Coffee Mate Blueberry Cobbler creamer in it.  Dang!  There's got to be something that stuff would be good in/on... it smells and tastes soooooooo good!  (just not in coffee!)

Something wicked this way comes.

Something wicked came to my drain at work and died, and now I'm stuck with the smell.  I spent the morning blaming it on various truckers and vendors.  The gassy ones are embarrassed because they really think it might be them.  The innocent ones are embarrassed because they think everyone thinks its them.  I know its the drain, but its more fun this way.  Have you ever seen a grown man blush?  Have you ever seen 5 grown men blush all on the same day?

It really does smell like an overdue Pamper.  I may have to arrange a meeting with the Rotorooter man.  I hope he's as fun as the Orkin man whom I call 'Ratman' and sing the 'Batman' jingle to every time he pays us a visit.  (Poor guy, I think he dreads coming to my store.  Hehehehe.)

I did the unthinkable this morning.  I couldn't find any socks in the dark so I went to work with out any.  As I sit here typing my nose is positively freaking out.  With socks, Becca says my feet smell like nachos after a full day of work.  Without socks they smell like my drain at work. Phewwwwwwwww!

I wonder if Coffee Mate Blueberry Cobbler creamer tastes good on vanilla ice cream.

I ROCK

I know I rock because the Oompas tell me so.  I rock at work as well, just ask my vendors and co-workers.

But rockdom has a cost, a price that must be paid... a subscription fee of sorts.

I rock at home because sometimes I get up early on my days off and make biscuits for breakfast.   Sometimes its as easy as fresh brewed iced tea or homemade mashed potatoes with extra pepper.  Sometimes I rock because I let an Oompa stay out later than the designated curfew.  Sometimes I'll drop them off or pick them up from their friends house.  Sometimes I rock because I let them tag along with me when I go shopping.  Rockdom almost always breaks my budget then.

I rock at work when the invoices go through automatically and don't have to be individually checked in.  I rock when I offer to throw away someone's trash.  I rock when I take bottled water  up to the thirsty cashiers and cart pushers a couple of hours into their shift.

The fastest way to lose rockdom I have discovered is by the use of that little bitty, teenie tiny word 'NO'.  All I have to do is say 'NO' when all they want to hear is 'YES'.

Poof!  All gone!  No more rocking!

But I rock this morning... Lemon scones hot from the oven.  Oh yeah!

Dickidoo didn't get any scones.  He left before I could make them.  I'm still on his list, but its not the 'rock' list.  Sometimes even not rocking has a price.

BLOG CRAWL 4, Sibling Rivalry

This picture was taken in 1970 by the shore of the River Clyde in Dunoon Scotland.  This wasn't the best shot of the day.  In fact there was a much better one of the three older sisters in which I was sitting quite angelically and had my tongue in my mouth rather than wagging as in this one.  I felt this picture better exemplified the personalities of my brother, sisters and myself at the time. 

George, my only brother, was my partner in crime.  The little one on Mama's lap is our baby sister whom we called 'Beanie' following an incident that involved a pinto bean and a particular orifice on her face.  I call her 'Beanie' to this day.  Beanie was more often than not our victim.  If you were to ask us though we would have a million and one reasons why our actions were justified as 'self defense' and not just plain orneriness.  Beanie was a brat, a spoiled rotten brat.  And worst of all, Beanie was cute!  She was tiny and everyone adored her.  She was like a walking, talking doll and my older sisters doted on her like a princess.  I despised dolls and therefore I despised Beanie.

Looking back I see that I was perhaps a little jealous of my baby sister, however at the time I felt my actions were justified by her devious ways.  I also felt that I was in fact doing her a favor by educating her.  One such lesson was when I attempted to introduce her to a ghost that resided in a large wooden wardrobe in the spare room at the back of the house in Scotland.  Little Beanie was skeptical but I knew for a fact that the closet was haunted, because I said so.  I dared her to climb in and look for the ghost, emphasizing thatshe had to be completely silent so as not to scare the specter away.  As soon as she was in the wardrobe, I shut the great mirrored door and locked it, to maximize the darkness which was a key element in ghost sightings (because I said so).  Unfortunately Beanie, who was afraid of the dark, immediately began to scream at the top of her lungs.  Mama made me (and George, because we were inseparable back then) let Beanie out, and even though Beanie wanted to meet the ghost and I was merely fulfilling her wishes, I got in trouble.  She would have seen the ghost if she had been quiet as I had instructed.  Hmmmmph!

Another memorable incident happened shortly after our move to Hawaii.  We were visiting our grandparents on the Big Island, and a bunch of cousins were going to go hiking through the sugar cane field behind the house.  Naturally Beanie wanted to tag along.  Naturally I protested.  Naturally Mama insisted that I take her along.  Naturally I was not happy.  About 20 yards into the field, with the lush green stalks high above our heads, I stooped down to examine the thick moss growing around the base of the cane.  Ever inquisitive, Beanie asked what it was.

"Pig pee"  I said in all seriousness, then jumped up and yelled for everyone to run for their lives.  Everyone started screaming and the cousins scattered in a million directions like roaches.  When we all stopped running and met back up, Beanie was no where to be seen.  In fact I wouldn't see her again until we eventually emerged from the cane field a couple of hours later.  I saw Mama with her.  Mama was not amused.

Today Beanie is a wife and mother of 4.  She is a valuable longtime employee at a major retailer in the islands, she is an awesome cook, and has an infectious smile.  She survived childhood without any ill effects.  I'm surprised she hasn't got a million phobias because of me.  She described me as her hero whenmy children asked how it was growing up with me.  Perhaps later, when she was a teenager, but definitely not when she was a youngster.  Maybe she is suffering from repressed memories.  Or maybe she is just a very forgiving person.  At any rate, she is a wonderful soul... and I am glad to have played a major role in her development.  (still trying to justify the whole thing).

Love you Beanie!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

* Carpe Diem by princesssaurora:  Pumpkin vs. Fuzzy, officiated by Mom  Final score...TBA.

* Just Mary by frankandmary:  Meet Cricket, a precocious teenager who even has me believing that its not her... its everyone else!

* In My Opinion by pixiedustnme: Sibling rivalry takes on a whole new appearance when the rivaling siblings are your children!

Tags: Blog Crawl, Sibling Rivalry

Psst........

I almost forgot to remember, Its Blog Crawl time!  This month's theme is 'Sibling Rivalry', which is kind of fun looking back at but can be heck going through (from both a sibling and now a parental point of view!)

So, here's what you do, if you have a story, a picture, a poem, a favorite quote, or anything that depicts sibling rivalry and you'd like to share it with others, just drop off the link here and I'll include it with the list of participants.  It doesn't even have to be a new entry, it can be something you posted last year.

And for the record.... I was NEVER as bad as my own children are now!

RANDOMOUS (relax, its not a real word)

Its raining.  Rain is good, we need the moisture.  Besides, it sounds so soothing against the roof top.  AND... it is washing that dang pollen away.

The rain has made me feel all melancholy so I've been poking through old files and pictures.  Can't believe how much weight I've put on in the past 12 years.  Ugh!  This isn't the most I've ever weighed, but I'm not pregnant now so that thought offers little comfort. 

And my hair... my once thick, rich brown hair with glints of copper and bronze... now hangs limp and dark streaked at an alarming occurrence by thick wiry white hair.  Why couldn't it be gray hair?  Lots of people get gray hair.  Isn't it supposed to go from dark to gray and then to white... gradually?  What happened here?  I went straight to white.  And those suckers are fricken LONG!  Its as if I go to bed and overnight 20 more fully grown hairs turn pure white...poof! Just like that!  No little tiny hair that gradually grows in, giving me time to get used to it.  Nope, POOF!  There it is!  White!  At this rate I shall be looking like Rip Van Winkle in about  6 months.

Miss Clairol, take me away! 

What do you think, maybe auburn?  Or blonde!  I hear they have more fun.

Wait, if I dye my hair am I supposed to do my eye brows as well so that they match?  Yes, I have whites in them too, grrrrr!  Heck, I'd probably see white hair growing out of my ears if I could see in there!  Isn't growing old fun?

Actually yes, to answer my own question, growing old IS fun!  Except for maybe the first few minutes in the morning when I first wake up and my body rebels because hey, its 46 years old!  But a quick purge and deflation, a splash of cold water on my face, a swish of Crest and a shot of Folgers and I'm ready to go!

Did you know that if you eat breakfast every day you better your odds of living to the rip old age of 100 years!  I think I'm going to have to start leaving some breakfast out for Dickidoo each morning.  What fun it would be to harass his ass for 54 more years!