Tuesday, January 17, 2006


I've seen plumbers cracks many times in my life, although never by choice, but yesterday was the first time I'd ever seen an electrician crack.  I was banished to the cigarette check-out aisle at the store, and therefore could not leave the area.  He was in a scissor lift working on the wiring for the new registers.  At first he was squatting down working on something.  I couldn't see what he was doing because, lucky me, his back was towards me... and that... crack... as deep as the Grand Canyon!  I couldn't  avoid seeing it... he was just there, not 20 feet away, up in the scissorlift, glowing like a neon sign that said:

Don't worry I told myself, he's going to stand up and it will be covered.


He stood up and reached up to the ceiling... and it was still there!  His jeans were obviously up as high as they were going, thanks no doubt to a very healthy beer belly... but that still left a cleavage 6 inches long. 

Now I have a weakness with things like that.  Its not that I'm attracted to or turned on by the sight.  Instead, I get an uncontrollable urge to drop things in them.  Dickidoo has been the recipient of coins and even ice cubes in the past.  Today, the only thing handy was a rubber band.  More than once, in between customers, my hand would twitch towards the elastic.  But the thought of having 'assaulting a crack with a rubber band' in my criminal file held off my temptation long enough for my relief cashier to arrive.

And what does she do?  She looks up at the scissor lift and in a big loud voice "Oh no, I am not going to be looking at THAT for the rest of the day!"  and I lost it!  So did all of the customers in line.  I guess the commotion caught his attention because when I locked up my drawer and complained to my managers about the unpleasant sight, the lift was empty.  When they asked me to point out which worker it was, what could I say?

"Well, I don't know what his face looks like, but I'd recognize his butt crack!"

They let me off early yesterday.  They've been doing that a lot lately.


princesssaurora said...

LOL - Too funny!  (I always go over and tickle my hubby...never had the urge to do it to someone else though!!! )

Be well,

rgwindland said...

LOL, they are probably afraid to let you stay. Rhonda

sdoscher458 said...

Hey..I think you would of made that shot...a bank shot. LOL....I can see that you are having fun working, beats the boredom of housework doesn't it? Come on back on myspace, add me.....Sandi

cmarlow330 said...


sassydee50 said...

LOL~I have been laughing over butt crack jokes all my life. You are one funny lady. That photo of the shed on top of the boots is a riot! ;-))) Sassy


yankeygr said...

Hi, I just discovered your journal and I have to say "I love it!"
You have such a wonderful way with words! I will be back, for sure.   Rhonda

alphawoman1 said...


christina1036876 said...

That is to funny. Crack Kills!!!!