HYPOCHONDRIAC IN TRAINING

I am sick.  My body aches.  My eyes burn.  My chest hurts.  I cough in fits.

I don't have a fever.

How can I feel so rotten and not have a fever?  I feel feverish, but nothing.  My forehead is cool.  The thermometer confirmed it with a reading of 98.7.  I came home early from work.  They didn't feel sorry for me there, they just didn't want to catch what I had, what ever it was.

When I got home I went to bed where I proceded to hack up my right lung, and then my left lung.  Nobody came so I put them back in and hacked them up again.  And again.  And again.

Nobody checked on me for almost 6 hours.

Dickidoo finally came in and asked if I needed anything.

'Anything as in what?' I asked.

'As in medicine?' he clarified, keeping his distance so as not to breath in my cooties.

'Oh, well, some chest decongestant would be nice.' I moaned, with a hoarse cough for emphasis.  He nodded and hurried out, leaving me disappointed, disappointed because what I really needed was a Nikon D200, fully loaded.  Yeah, that would definitely make me feel better.

Art is cooking supper.  Yay Art.  Of course it took about 5 minutes of my 'I'm coughing myself to death and nobody cares, woe is me!' speech but he got the hint.  Dickidoo is out, he went to our friends' house for a long over due visit.  I think he was glad when I declined the invitation.  No sense being exposed to the cooties any more than necessary.

So what is wrong with me?  I don't know.  I feel feverish, but I don't have a fever.  I get hot and cold flashes, I shiver and bundle up and then over heat.  My head feels like its going to explode, yet it doesn't really hurt, it just feels mega pressurized.  My eyes are burning.  My chest hurts and my coughing fits barely bring up anything.

Where is Dr. McCoy with his tricorder when I need him?  Dr. Crusher?  Anybody?

Oh wait, supper is ready.  Ghostrider Chili.  Mmmmmmmmm, I think I'm feeling better already!

Tags: Hypochondriac