Wednesday, July 28, 2004

The Bald Son

Well, its almost a new day.  I'm still not used to my near-bald son, but its getting a little easier to talk about him going into the military.  And yes, I am soooo very proud of him for making this decision.  Actually its a 4 part decision.  He's joining the military to serve his country, he's providing for his unborn child, he's securing a future for himself, and he donated his beautiful long hair to help someone less fortunate.  Oh yeah, and 5..... he's moving out and I'll have my computer room back.  Truth be know I'd be just as happy with him shacking up here forever, but my little birdie must spread his wings and fly!

Been getting a lot of calls lately from non-profit organizations soliciting for donations, and politicians looking for votes.  I just tell them to call back later when my rich husband is home (he's not really rich, but they get excited and hang up), and the politicians, I just tell them that I'll vote for them if they never call again.  The NRA is also a frequent harrasser being as my husband is a member and on their 'sucker list'.  I just tell them 'I have a gun and I know how to use it'.  They quickly offer to call back later when my husband is home.  I'm honestly thinking about taking us off of the no-call list.  At least those telemarketers had personality, they knew they had to make a sell or they weren't getting a paycheck.  You could have fun with them!  These non-profit guys, heck, they don't care, they're one big tax right-off!  And those campaigners, they're more fickle than Kerry.  If you tell them 'no' on a Democratic call, they'll mark your number with a red R and call back the next night campaigning for the Republican party.

I'm going to start rationing toilet paper.  We have 3 bathrooms for the 7 of us.  I buy 3 packs of toilet tissue every 2 weeks, one for each bathroom.  We never have enough paper to last the 2 week period.  I don't understand why because nobody wipes their butt!  I have proof!  I walk in all the time to an unflushed bowl full of lincoln logs and no Charmin!  First of all, thats just disgusting!  Second of all, phew!  This morning I was in the girls bathroom and found myself having to duckwalk around the bathroom looking for scraps on the discarded cardboardtoilet paper tubes just so I could wipe!  Give me a BREAK!  There is NEVER toilet paper in their pee punch concoction, so where is it!  From now on, its 3 squares for a swipe, 6 for a log, and 2x6 for a squirt. Monthly female issues are negotiable.

10 comments:

hestiahomeschool said...

We use so much TP it regularly gets clogged. These low water toilets can't handle all the output around here..

beckieramos said...

LOL! I have the same problem with toilet paper at our house! Kids, they either use too much or none! God bless, Beckie

purplectigger said...

I know you have to be so proud of your son. I'm proud for you. It will take some getting use to , about his hair. I'll say a little prayer for both of you.

R.C.

sunshine38585 said...

lol we run out of toilet paper like that too and there is just two of us!! Where does it all go? I know he doesnt have to use it everytime! I seriously think there are Aliens out there that need TP for fuel! Maybe I will hook up a survellience camera in the bathroom for a few days. Take care Dorn. lmao.
Melissa

cathy0o0 said...

Good plan on rationing...lol  Or better yet set up a log in each bathroom where they have sign out on their tp usage. when and how much they used..lol

ann7inflorida said...

"Duckwalk"....LMAO!!! ; )

aiibrat said...

you could get one of those toliets, a benoit (?), that cleans your bottom with a push of a button.  but, it's kind of sick tho', i suppose 3 squares is adequete.  just remind me to bring my own roll if I ever meet you. -=)

mzgoochi said...

We stock up on Toilet paper like it's going out of style and rarely run out. Dish detergent and laundry soap and bleach is what I run out of most. LMAO@the duck walk

Lahoma

mom23nca said...

I have marked your journal to update me when there are new entries.  Very, very funny and so true.  Thanks for the laughs!
http://journals.aol.com/mom23nca/MattersoftheMind/
http://journals.aol.com/mom23nca/JourneytoChina/

sprite1229 said...

Haha...squirt..