Thursday, January 5, 2006

(I can't believe I haven't posted all year!)

Shhhhh.... listen, do you hear it?  Of course not, because there is nothing to hear.  Just silence!  After two weeks the kids are back at school, Dickidoo is back to work and for once the house is mine and quiet!  There for a while I couldn't even hear myself think.  I kept asking myself 'what was I thinking?' and the answer was always 'I don't know!' so I stopped thinking all together.  I just sat in a corner twittling my fingers, hoping nobody would notice me.  Of course it didn't work.  I do believe that they've all used up their annual quota of 'mommy' and 'honey' requests... and then some!  Today my vacation begins!

Rocky didn't want to go back to school this morning.  She's already counting down the days until Spring Break.  I find the very thought depressing.  Some good did come out of the kids time at home though.  They washed the dishes and cleaned up the house for me.  Of course that came after several bribes and threats, but its finally done.  The way I see it, spring cleaning is done for the year.... yipee!  I've been working real hard on my new 'Happy' point of view, but its a lot harder than I thought it would be.  I guess I picked a bad time to start it, with the kids and Dickidoo home for two weeks.  Who would have thought that quality family time could be so stressful? 

My grandbaby wrote to me.  He scribbled all over a couple of cards his mother sent to me but it makes perfect sence to me.  I have new pictures as well, I can't believe how big he is getting.  I'm hoping on every star in the sky that I get to see him later in the spring when Gabe comes home for his mid-tour.

Gabe has lost another member from his unit.  His former unit has also lost some soldiers.  I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must be to have to deal with that kind of loss, and then to have to get up and carry on with business as usual.  The heart and mind does not even have a chance to heal out there, there is no time.  That is not how I envisioned my son's future.  The patriot in me is so proud of him, and yet selfishly I find myself wishing he had been satisfied with his job at the booby bar.  Quite obviously he inherited my patriotism but not my selfishness. 

Enough with the sadness.  On a happy note, I've lost some weight, and I wasn't even trying!  Those extra inches that I indulged in during my brief attempt at SAHMdom are gone!  I can now fit back into my pre-SAHM jeans.  I don't need safety pins to keep the buttons on my blouses fastened.  I no longer have to hide behind a wall of denial, I am back down to my normal fluffy, curvacious self.  And it didn't require an increased number of visits to the throne room either.  I didn't even have to cut back on my beer and cookies, how cool is that?  That is definitely something to be happy about!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

and we want to see pictures of the smart grandbaby....

kelly

Anonymous said...

Awww, congrats on the silence, the weight loss, and the vacation! LOL!  And I want to see pics of the grandbaby!  I'm sorry for Gabe's loss.  I am so *proud* to know him, Dorn.  He's an amazing man.
Hugs,
Heather

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you posting....I read about Gabe on his site...how sad.  I am so happy that you got the pics of your grandbaby boy!  And I too, and VERY HAPPY that the kids and rest of the family are back at school and work...the peace of the house is nice!  LOL

Be well,
Dawn

Anonymous said...

I'm glad that the baby's mom is sending you pictures. I hope you get to see him soon. Gabe is in my prayers, everyday.
Hugs, R.C.

Anonymous said...

The silence when kids go back to school is stronger then you think.. my"baby" turns 40 tomorrow..but ya know what?.. if i think about it, I can remember that exact feeling of the kids not home on vacation!!  Powerful stuff silence is!!

I hope Gabe is due to come home soon.  I don't think i could handle having my sone in a war zone like you and so many mothers are doing..

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year to you all.  Maybe I should go back to work if you lose weight..hubby will push me right out the door!  I keep praying for all our troops over there and especially Gabe...want them all home soon....Sandi

Anonymous said...

I think of you and your son often, and pray he is as safe as he can be.  Thinking of you and your son, always in blessings,
debbi

Anonymous said...

I pray for Gabe every single day.